♕Today's Promise: “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” Psalm 34:5
Joyce, how did your restoration journey actually begin?
My husband (Edwin) and I were married from a very young age, 23 to be exact. We are high school sweethearts and have not been with anyone else. Prior to getting married I was just recently saved out of an occult, so I was a baby Christian. We decided to get married to avoid the idea of moving out and living separate till marriage. So, we went head deep into marriage, unprepared and knowing nothing. Edwin at the time was not seeking the Lord and I was a baby believer. I started attending a very religious church and started turning very religious myself, slowly isolating away from Edwin and my own family. The enemy started working at me right away. I started taking the bait that my marriage was not from God and that it was a set up. I started seeing Edwin as my enemy and believing we truly were not meant to be together. Things were pretty messy between us as neither of us even knew how to be married. Not even a year into marriage I started entertaining the idea of divorce. I ran to people for advice who had their own marriage issues and wounds so it further solidified my stance to leave my husband. I pushed the divorce on Edwin, and he begged me to change my mind.
During this time, I was not truly seeking God for answers I was seeking man. I didn’t have an intimate relationship with God yet. I ended up getting what I wanted, and Edwin found a mutual divorce process so we could avoid court. He left and moved away, and I remained where we stayed. This was in July, two years ago, and the paper signing was set for September. I was 100% for my divorce in full belief this is what God wanted. We got to the day to sign the papers, and God literally broke me 2 hours before. The conviction hit me like a ton of bricks. I went to the bathroom at work and started sobbing. It was actually very painful, and I started repenting for all sorts of things. My pride, my rebellion, my religious attitude, and so on. I went to sign the papers and had totally changed my mind. I did not want to sign the papers, and I told Edwin on the car ride there. I told him I was so sorry and didn’t want to go through with it. He told me he wished I said it 2 months ago and that he still wishes to proceed. In order to respect him I submitted and signed them. I went home completely heartbroken.
God put a friend on my mind to reach out to and explain my situation who has also been through her own marriage crisis. I told her I wanted my marriage and she was comforting and encouraging me. From that day forward we prayed multiple times a week for the restoration of my marriage. She sowed into my marriage and I sowed into hers. God also surrounded me with woman who fought for marriage and have learned and applied the same principles of being a God fearing wife. I started growing closer to the Lord and a few weeks later in desperation for some marriage testimonies to help me keep going I was led to RMI.
Joyce, how did God change your situation as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
So, my situation did not really change much during our separation. We were separated for 8 months and had no contact during the course of it. I think it was better this way for me to heal. I really had to return back to my first love and God had to show me what that looked like. What it looked like to truly let someone go. To trust in Him even when it looked absolutely dead and gone. To look to Him when I would hear negative reports and things that my husband wanted nothing to do with me. His heart grew so cold. But God took me on the most transformative journey of my life that I would never take back. I went through much refinement, deprogramming, healing and deliverance from a lot of childhood wounds. While I didn’t have any contact with Edwin, my Heavenly Husband and Beloved Lord was always speaking to me. He constantly confirmed He was going to restore my marriage in His timing so my heart came to a posture of being content in the waiting knowing this sweet season of just Him and I would not last forever.
Joyce, what were the most difficult times that God helped you through?
The holidays were rather difficult for me. It was my first year spending them alone and going back to our hometown brought back so many memories. I cried myself to sleep on Christmas but at every hard moment I was always comforted by the Lord. He always gave me the scripture "He turns my mourning into dancing" and that everything I sow in tears, I will reap in joy. I learned to give every burden and every anxiety to Him. I was completely reliant on Him and His strength to get me through. I knew during the holidays that the Lord loved me and was only going to let me suffer like that once. I just knew in my spirit it was just that year. The nights I wanted to give up He always sent someone to encourage me. I mean it was hard to not talk to Edwin. There’s so many things I wanted to tell him and share about my life.
Joyce, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
In November I started really telling the Lord about pulling my mutual consent to the divorce papers and in doing that they would not be finalized to go to the court as we both had to be in agreement. After much prayer and fasting He instructed me to do so. I am not sure to what extent Edwin was aware as he was in a very dark place partying drinking and just in the pig pen. (No adultery though, praise God)
God started moving the chess pieces for me to move back. I moved back February the following year. I kept in contact with my mother-in-law who around early March started telling me that my husband kept bringing up letters and how I always used to write him letters and questioning why I didn’t write a letter of apology. I knew this was the beginning of his heart starting to soften. He basically would indirectly communicate to me through her because he knew we talked. But this was the biggest progress I had seen since I last saw him in September. He brought it up to her 3 times and she told me to pray about it and I took it to the Lord and felt led to write him a letter. So, I sat down and started just allowing Him to flow through me. I basically poured my heart into the letter and repented for very specific things as well as give thanks for all the years he’s stuck by my side since we were 15. This letter is what restored us.
Tell us HOW it happened, Joyce? Did Edwin just walk in the front door? Did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
Me and some friends prayed and anointed the letter to do what God wanted it to do, and I put it in the mail to go to his apartment. He lost his ID and was going to go out to the bar that night, so he went to the mailbox to get his new ID, and he pulled out the ID and then my letter and he knew God was giving him a choice in that moment. He chose to stay in and read the letter. He was immediately moved by the letter and actually texted me the very next day asking to meet in person so he could personally thank me because it meant a lot to him. This came in April. I had no idea we would be restored that soon! We met for coffee, and I brought our dog and it was pretty much game over. We left from coffee to the beach and then I ended up spending the night at his apartment!! I pleaded with the Lord to bring us together intimately because I learned from RMI how important that is when you are still married and, in a separation, so God answered that one! We connected and basically started “dating” from then on. Edwin was very hesitant and sceptical at first really poking to see if the changes in me were real and true. Bringing him home was another battle within itself but by the grace of God he came home in July, and we’ve been doing amazing ever since. He actually has surrendered his life to God towards the end of that year. He says that our restoration story led him to truly turn to God. HALLELUJAH!!
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial, Joyce? Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you?
I recommend all the resources especially "A Wise Woman" book and the "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" book. I ordered several of the testimonials for tough nights when I wanted to give up. I also had the video tapes that were great. I learned what it meant to truly love my husband and be a quiet and submissive Proverbs 31 woman. Once Edwin came home, I was put through many tests of applying all the principles I learned with RMI and in His word. Edwin didn’t come home changed he actually went backwards into partying and drinking and addiction, but I changed!!! And that’s all that matters. I continued to intercede for him daily even when he was still doing things that were rather hurtful. The Lord sustained me as I kept my eyes on Him and I was able to love my husband even when I knew he was in the wrong . I really learned to pick my battles and when to speak and when to remain quiet. In the beginning I did a lot of remaining quiet as his heart was not in a receiving posture yet. Over time and to this day I have witnessed God transform Edwin's heart and desires and draw him closer and closer to Him. It’s been so beautiful!!
Do you have favorite Bible verses that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37:4
Either way, Joyce, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Please never give up on your marriage. Nothing is too far gone for the Lord!!!! We walk by faith and not by sight!! God loves marriage and HATES divorce!!! Don’t give up!!!
Read MORE testimonies in our By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series.