RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “It All Came to Light and the ‘Suddenly’ Came”

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Alejandra, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

Alejandra, how did your restoration actually begin?

My restoration journey started with my heart! Boy, was I so lost when I thought God had to change my husband and his heart. All together this journey was about me and what my Precious Eternal Husband, my Lord and Savior, wanted to do with me! I found your audiobook in October. I had separated from my husband six months prior and was seeking material to share with a small group of woman we used to pray together with. Months later a pdf of your RYM book was sent to me and I decided to visit the site. Wow! all the testimonies, the principles were so much more real on the website than the copy of the book I received.

As much as I tried to change from being a contentious woman, and a controlling wife I discovered in 12 years of being with my husband my change would not last. I walked on eggshells for a long period but got exhausted from faking it! It took God's presence, His almighty intervention to change me!

I found RMI about a year before I filled out the Marriage Encouragement Questionnaire.” 
. When you asked, “Please tell us about your situation and why you have come to us for help” I said:

“I FEEL STUCK! I've been praying, seeking God in my secret place but I don't see anything happening with my husband. I started to serve the Lord at church and to pray for women going through the same, I tithe and give offerings at my church and I keep having this thought that it is not through works but by faith. I have faith but what is really killing my spirit are my 2 boys who every other day ask for their daddy and at given times end up crying for him as he doesn't come to see them. Last time we saw my husband was for my youngest birthday and never heard back from him. All I continue to hear are people telling me they saw my husband with the other person. I'm stuck I'm at the point where I try praying in tongues as I don't know what to pray for anymore. I'm discouraged.”

Then when it asked, "What has your husband said is the main issues or problems he has with you and your relationship?" I answered, "I never change. I don't respect him. He is happier with the other person. I don't treat him right. He wants to feel loved."

By then I'd read the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and so I didn't feel my situation was hopeless. I said, "As discouraged as I feel there is faith in my heart, I know God will restore because He promised me, He allowed this separation to work on my husbands lack of faith, that He will bring him back as the head of the house with gifts. He will be a father and provider as never before. But my issue is that I want it now. Sorry! I can't help it and its become an obsession.

"We have a purpose in God's kingdom, I know it, I sense it. I tried to leave my husband before having kids, after having kids and the love I thought I had got rid of, grew again in my heart. I have been divorced before so this is not new to us. But there is something (I know it's God) keeping us together for a purpose. Like a big one! The bigger the pain the bigger the miracle?

How did God change your situation Alejandra as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

The change came through this principle: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew 7:3-5

Once I stopped seeing the speck in my husband's eye, God started to work in me! I completely let go of controlling my husband, calling him, looking for him and even the thought of contacting the other victim was a huge NO! I wanted to be right with God and walk the narrow path so that I could get rid of my old self! I hated who I was, I hated how I treated people, I hated how I was not walking in God's design for my life.

Once I surrendered and I stopped checking on my husband's progress or lack of progress, once I started seeking ways to serve the Lord to be part of His bigger picture and take myself away from my foolish tiny drama life— I started to experience peace, joy and a different faith in what He had promised He would do with my marriage and family.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Alejandra, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

Many principles were learned throughout this journey. the main one is that everything is impossible without Him, the One Who loved me first!

I learned that the crisis did not start in my marriage. It started in my heart and my identity that the enemy tried to steal. Wounds that were not taken to my Lord to heal contaminated the rest of my heart, contaminated my relationship with Him, with my husband, and with my children. But God is wonderful and He makes all things new! I was blessed to be broken and made new! It hurt but I was in the best Hands ever!

Another was tithing to my storehouse. Because I was

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Alejandra?

It was so hard not to see my EH for over 6 months. Seeing the boys cry for him, pray for him and wonder when their prayers would be answered really stretched my faith to the next level. Preaching to our boys when I was lacking the faith, I felt such a hypocrite but then noticed that after they were convinced that nothing is impossible for Him I would fill up again in faith.

Alejandra, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

Things started to change to the opposite for my EH. Where once everything was in his favor, God changed everything. He lost his clients, closed down his business, got scammed and hit rock bottom.

“For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread" Proverbs 6:26.

Tell us HOW it happened Alejandra? Did your husband just walk in the front door?

It was when my mother-in-law came to visit that it all came to light and the "suddenly" came when my EH said, "I can't believe I didn't see how much wrong I did to my kids." It was a day in July— the day the miracle occurred at 2:30 am. My mother-in-law slept at my house, so after 14 months of not seeing each other for more than a few hours, my husband had come and slept over on our couch. We spent time as a family with my mother-in-law and on the 3rd day of her stay, he changed completely. He knew he had done wrong and could suddenly see. He decided that the next day he would tell the OW that it was over. And he did.

Alejandra, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

Nooooooooooooo! Not at all!!!! Even that day I thought it was best for my EH to go back to the US so that the work God had started could be "finished"! I love how God surprised me!!!!!

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Alejandra?

YES!!!! This has been a blessing. I followed the principles in Facing Divorce of what to do when asked for a divorce, the courses 1 and 2 and 3! Each and everyone of them helped me get closer to the Lord as He became the Love of my Life!!!

Do you have favorite Bible verses that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimony Alejandra? Promises that He gave you?

Zechariah 4:6 NIV "So he said to me, 'This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty."

Luke 1:37 ESV "For nothing will be impossible with God.”

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Alejandra?

Yes, I currently am serving!

Either way Alejandra, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Hi my name is Alejandra and like you, I was once taking this walk as well trusting the Lord for a big restoration miracle in our marriage. I want you to know that you are not alone! God is with you and will never forsake you! God loves you so much and wants you to remember this every step of this journey He is for you and not against you!

God NEVER fails!!! He did it once HE will do it again for YOU!

Here is one of Alejandra's PRs we posted on our Encourager blog.

Sounds Nuts Right?

I'm so thankful He's helped me to overcome a Hurdle Milestone #9. The OW is not the Enemy anymore! I'd like to share HOW my HH helped me let go of my fear to move forward. Also to share a little about how the hurdle I had to overcome and the blessings He has blessed me with since I was able to let go and moved closer to being His bride.

Whenever I would think about the OW my stomach would sink. I would have ugly images in my imagination that bothered me so much they made me upset. So I started to pray to the Love of My Life to please change this. To please give me His eyes on this. Then I understood it was when I learned that... the same way I felt betrayed was the way my Beloved felt when I had my EH first in my life. Everything my stomach sank I would remind myself about my HH precious heart and how I had hurt Him badly by my infidelity to Him. It was through this renewed mentality that God would show me through scripture how the OW would be the instrument for my EH to value what he had at home and had left fooled by the enemy.

And not just that, check this out!!!!

Proverbs 11:8 NIV "The righteous person is rescued from trouble, and it falls on the wicked instead."

Dear Brides, did you know you are so loved that what the enemy intended to destroy you, God is using it to bless you? Sounds nuts right? Well, remember when Joseph was thrown into the jail, which God used to free him from being a slave and placed into his destiny? Yup, same thing with the Other Woman, she is the Victim! She is the instrument the enemy tried to use to destroy your family, yet if you ONLY will Trust Him and walk in HIS narrow path, HE will use it to make your family stronger! Your husband will experience the bitterness of SIN while missing what he had been given. And to make this an even better combo! —your prayers can lead the OW to be a won soul, another bride for our Beloved!

Yeah 2 for 1 deal, the enemy zero. Woop woop!

~ Alejandra in Guatemala