RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “I’ve Made Peace with My Children and My Husband”

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Isla, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

Isla, how did your restoration actually begin?

Our first twelve years of marriage were full of good times. We experienced difficulties at the beginning of us living together, but after a few years, we believed we were called by the Lord to be missionary workers. For us to go, we experienced some legal problems, so during this period we had several fights but I thought everything was under control. That was until I suddenly I lost my mother in a freak accident. I became angry with God and decided that if He would do this to me, I did not want to serve Him anymore.

If that weren't bad enough, I made the mistake of telling my husband something horrid. I went to him saying that I could not love him in the same way because God did not heal my mother. I prayed she would stand and be well but it didn’t happen. So, in the process of and in addition to becoming a rebel towards God, I now know that I was actually rebellious long before this because I did not submit myself to my EH “earthly husband”. I imagine this happened the same with each of you, dear brides.

For some years God let me do what I wanted, yet the more I felt superior, the more quarrelsome and unhappy I was. And since I did not suffer any real consequences, I lived like this not knowing I was on borrowed time.

Thankfully I've made peace with my children and my husband, which would never happen during my period of spiritual arrogance. Here I was, really lost, yet I thought I was a superb woman of God, even though I was rude, and as far from Godly as anyone could me. Once or twice my husband call my attention to my attitude but rather than listen, it led to fights and I always thought that I was the one who went out of her way to mend things. It was I who had to ask for forgiveness, but I was delusional, so full of myself.

Well, one day after a long period of intense humiliation that I caused him, one more failed attempt to respect my husband as I ought to have. He exploded! I thank God for what He did in removing my husband from our home for two months, months that I went through every one of the RMI courses.

I found on a prayer site where there were so many women like me, women like I was. I was looking for help when I saw a post from a young man who was talking to someone about marriage help. It was before this that I was desperate for help and I had run to the Bible, crying for a couple of weeks, until one night I said, "Lord, what do I need to read what verse should I meditate on. And my eyes feel on ‘My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin, and will heal their land’ (2 Chron. 7:14), which is actually in the RYM book!

I read it several times out loud, then cried out to Him, Please, God, help me. Where should I go, what should I do. And it's then that I found your web site! I know the Lord guided me here when my heart was right!

How did God change your situation Isla as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

The more I began to seek Him, the more He told me that I had to love my enemies, that I had to forgive everyone, and that I had left my First love long ago. He told me I'd become so deceived by adopting the world's ways. My heart to serve was based on my pride, not on humility.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Isla, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

That the Word of the Lord (the Bible) is the ultimate source for knowledge and wisdom. And that and the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage was inspired entirely on His Word. He taught me His principles slowly incorporating them into my life through the Daily Lessons as I took your courses, and how to stay encouraged by reading the Daily Encourager.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Isla?

When I found out about OW “other woman” I understood why God had told me that I had to love, to pray, and to forgive. That's when I had to remain quiet and to let go. Honestly, even today, I have to let go day-by-day, so I don't try to do it on my own but trust God to complete what He started.

Isla, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

Like most restored testimonies, it undoubtedly was really when I let go, put my trust in my God to restore, and turned my focus entirely on my HH. It was after I'd gone through Finding the Abundant Life a second time and was halfway through Living the Abundant Life that everything turned around. I no longer felt much for my EH, and became worried, until I heard that this was often normal, a good sign, and meant my marriage was close to being restored. And that is what happened.

Tell us HOW it happened Isla? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Isla, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

One night after a period of thirty days of fasting and repentance, and feeling liberated from so much sin I'd been carrying around, there honestly was nothing apparent happening. My husband was sending a message to my children, and one of my prayers would be that when he came back, he would call me directly to speak to me.

I had quickly put into practice what I had learned in the book, to speak good things when given the opportunity so your husband would see the new woman God had created, but I thought I was not ready yet. I was calm during this part of the journey and was happy for it to last with me and my HH forever.

After doing a lesson that was to let go fully from wanting or needing restoration or anything but the Lord, I really felt a peace. I felt this way before, but this was different. I experienced my HH as a true Husband, not a celestial being up there in heaven looking down. He was here sitting next to me, wrapping me in His arms.

Moments later I heard a text message. I was in shock when I saw it was from my EH. I did not respond to the message, so he called, then he left a voicemail. I did not want to listen for fear of having to face something horrible.

A day later, I heard another message alert, but instead of being fearful, I answered his message saying, "Hi there" And he text back saying, "What do you think about me sleeping over tonight?" I thought, what here with me?! I ask God what to do and then remembered the lesson that said that if my husband (even if he'd moved out of the house) wanted to be intimate with me, I could not deny because I was still legally married. So I agreed and asked my son to continue talking to his dad awhile because I was going to go take a shower.

By the time I was ready, my husband came over. We had such a wonderful time as a family and then we tucked our son in before we went to bed. Being intimate was strange, not like I'd expected with fireworks, but I believe it was due to the fear I'd mess everything up.

The next morning as we were eating breakfast, our son was playing with his father's cell phone, when he received a message from OW. I knew it was my test, so I remained quiet while my EH became so nervous and yelled at our son. That was the second test, to not interfere and to let his father discipline him (even if I may not have agreed). I understood that God used my son and this situation to show my EH that I really had changed for real.

That morning we agreed that my husband would stay home with us and start out as friends. Of course, that didn't happen, because soon our love began to grow. Glory to the Lord of the impossible. He says that everything will work out for good and now I see how He allowed our separation in order for us to learn and for us to appreciate what we have with each other and our son. My son and I now have a spiritual leader, which happened once I told him we no longer going to church (as RF “Restoration Fellowship” says will happen). Glory to You, Lord, for me there is only You!

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Isla?

Start with How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage then A Wise Woman. Go through the free online courses and sign up to receive the Daily Encourager. You’ll discover your HH in the Abundant Life courses.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Isla?

Yes

Either way Isla, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

You must stand firm in your convictions of doing things the way you learn here. And there will be immense and intense ongoing pain until you find your HH. Once you do, your tears will be transformed into joy and that even in the face of crisis, you will experience the peace that is beyond understanding. God knows what is best for each of us, and that's for us to truly seek to have intimacy with the Lord, and to want only Him. Only then can you truly be transformed and when everything you've waited for will be restored! Your desire for your marriage and earthly husband is the only thing that stands in the way of your miracle.