♕Today's Promise: "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:5-6
Dena, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
Almost 4 years ago I realized that my husband, Adrian had a relationship with another woman. It was terrible for my children and for me, because as Erin said, I made terrible mistakes. One of these mistakes was telling my children what their dad was doing. I thought I was seeking the "leading of the Lord" to "help" Adrian to end that other relationship, but it only managed to harden his heart more.
I have been a Christian all my life and I thought the Lord would approve my divorce because of adultery. I thought I was right when really, I just kept destroying my marriage and family. The arguments became very frequent and Adrian was trying to do things to try and make me think that there was not another woman. He even bought me a new car. One morning more than a year ago, around the eve of father's day, the other woman, called him very early in the morning and I was awake praying for him. That day he could no longer avoid me and decided to leave. After a while, he came back and took his things while he continued arguing with me. He seemed to be regretting his decision, as if he wished I would ask him to stay, but I didn't and finally he left with a suitcase.
My children realized that he had left and very sadly, my daughter told me that she already wanted her father to leave because she couldn't stand the way he was treating me.
I was so desperate and I started looking for marriage help, watching testimonies on youtube. We have our own business so I had to come to work every day and look at Adrian's face that had become so hard. He looked at me with hate and only talked in anger and I yelled at him anger. He kept rejecting me and defending the other woman and rejecting.
The hardest battle begun when I lost my faith together with my son when one night he told me that he no longer want to pray or read the bible because the Lord would not answer our prayers and his father would not come home. That night we all went to sleep crying, me even more because really every night I woke up crying until I felt like I could not breathe.
That was when I was desperate again. I searched and found the book online How God can and Will Restore Your Marriage. I started reading it and when the question, “how much are you willing to give to restore your marriage?”, I said: “everything!!”
How did God change your situation, Dena, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
It had taken me to reach rock bottom. My children and I stayed in a rented house while Adrian lived in our own house. After I found this ministry, I followed the advice in the book and realized that the Lord does not approve of divorce, but said to me in Hosea "go and love that man even though he is an adulterer".
My will dissolved and I wanted the will my Beloved Lord. I confess that I did not want to go back to Adrian. I could not sleep next to him again, never again knowing that he had been with another woman not just a fling but a relationship for years. So "I seeked the Lord and He heard me and He delivered me from all my fears". “I looked at Him and I wasn't ashamed"
The Lord has become my everything! In fact someone who had been through the same shared with me the passage from isaiah 54 and I read it while I prayed every morning declaring in faith that the Lord would take care of my children and me. I followed the advice given in the book. I did not call Adrian anymore for anything, not even for work matters, I did not search for the other woman on facebook anymore. I did not follow him anymore to the other woman’s house. I started letting him go.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial, Dena?
So many principles. To be content whatever my situation was and most of all, to stop struggling agains His will. To not try and satisfy my own wishes but instead do as the Lord requested, obeying and keeping silent. How difficult it was for me to keep silent!!!
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Dena?
The hardest thing was when I lost my faith. I lost my faith when my son told me that he did not want to pray to the Lord anymore because he had not answered his prayer and brought father back home. That night I stopped praying too. I went to bed without knowing what to say and how to pray. My daughter also said, "they ruined our life mom", it was very hard to see them suffer because of their father's absence so I lost faith, for one night, that I will never forget.
Dena, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
When I realized that I needed to get out of the house where I was paying rent, because Adrian left all the expenses to me, he gave me absolutely nothing, oh except once when it looked like a hurricane was going to come to the city. Then I prayed a lot for the Lord to let me return to my own house. I had confidence that if this is His will, He will let me return. So without asking anything from Adrian, I just let my Beloved guide me and obeyed. The idea was that we move there and Adrian would leave, but it was not the plan of my Beloved Lord "because my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways, my ways says Jehovah".
Tell us HOW it happened, Dena? Did your Adrian just walk in the front door? Dena, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
Once I asked him calmly and with love that I need us to move back into our own house, he asked “where am I going to live?" and I said "nobody is chasing you away", his face transformed from bitterness and sadness into a radiant smile!!!
He took me immediately to see the house he was still repairing where it was needed as it was uninhabited for several months before he moved in. He taken me to buy a new stove and to choose how I wanted the kitchen to look in the end!! Even in the color my Beloved allowed me to see my dream come true!!! "delight in the Lord and He will grant you the requests of your heart!" so it happened as my Beloved wanted it and it was much better because I waited on Him who is mighty to do all things much more abundantly than what we ask or think, to Him be the glory, the glory the glory" I didn't even imagine it happening, we were only separated for 8 months!
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Dena?
Of course yes, mainly "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" so that if you are in a similar situation than mine, follow the advice, and do not make the same foolish mistakes that I made. Give yourself to the Lord in complete obedience and "resist the devil so that he flees from you". Don't let your marriage end, let it begin again with you holding the hand of the Lord in every decision. As Him what you need and let your earthly husband, your children and you be in His control.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Dena?
Yes,
Either way, Dena, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
The Lord is the same yesterday, today and forever, so keep going and do not give up! Hold on to the Lord's hands and never let Him go, even when your marriage has been restored! I send you a hug and the love of our Heavenly Husband, He who started a good work will perfect it until the day of Christ.
