RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “My Husband Lived a “Single” Life”

♕ Today's Promise: "Commit your way to the Lord; trust him, and he will do everything." Psalm 37:5

Tiara, how did your restoration actually begin?

“Delight in the Lord”

My beloved sisters in Christ. First of all, I want to praise God for His love and mercy in my life and I give Him all the honor and glory for my testimony.

I also want to apologize for the delay in sending my testimony, I kept putting it off because I wanted to send a testimony of a restored marriage from my perspective, but now I understand that everything must be from God's perspective and not mine.

For a long time I was foolish and helped considerably to destroy my home. Both us worked and lived in different cities and saw each other only on the weekends. When I got pregnant with our son I thought God had answered my prayer because I wanted us to be living together again. My husband said he wanted us together again, so much too, so I thought this was it.

Our plans were that when my maternity leave ended I would quit my job and we’d finally live together. But when my maternity leave ended, my husband insisted that I not resign, as we were building a house and the job market was bad and that it only would be for “just a little longer.” So, I went back to the place where I worked when my son was 5-month-old and after a while a mutual friend of ours started to alert me that my husband was getting involved with an OW, a co-worker.

At first I didn't believe it, because I thought he had what he wanted most; he wanted a family. But as time passed I noticed some changes in our relationship.

It got worse and the changes were more noticeable when I up and left my job and went to live with him. That’s when I knew he was really getting involved with the OW, which was confirmed the day I saw an exchange of messages from both of them on his cell phone. When I read it I dropped to the ground and hit my head. My mind was reeling from reading such intimate details I wish I’d never seen. That night we fought a lot and what I did most was to offend him so that he could feel some of the pain I was feeling.

In the middle of our discussion, after the fighting, he told me that he no longer loved me as before and that all this distance from us living apart, along with my bossy ways and the times that I said no when he first asked me to be together and live in the same city (but it would have meant me changing jobs so I refused) all contributed to the end of his love for me. He said he had gotten used to living another kind of life and by this time, with me asking him to think about our baby who was innocent and didn't deserve all of this happening to him, it was too late. Through intense ongoing pressure, my husband finally gave in and said that we would try again, but only for the sake of our son.

I remember crying and asking God to save my marriage and I believe that at that very moment God started working on my heart to trust Him for my marriage.

But, I still didn't have enough wisdom (I had even started to change my behavior). And even though a Christian friend helped me through prayer and advice, after a few days when everything had surfaced, I couldn't stand it and left our home (never do that, that's all the enemy wants). I took my son and went to live with my mother in our hometown about 700 miles away from our home where my husband was living and working. After about 15 days, I returned to my hometown to live closer. He came to visit us and we resumed to make an attempt to rescue our marriage a second time. But, he insisted that my son and I remain where we were and if I left and moved away again, it would be over for good.

How did God change your situation, Tiara, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

When I found myself in this situation of losing my family, I felt that only God could transform all this pain and change this situation that seemed utterly impossible due to my husband's harsh words and coldness towards me.

So I called on Him to help me and I started looking on the internet for marriage restoration and found the RYM book and your website. I ordered the eBook and downloaded it to my phone and when I read it was then that I realized how foolish I was for so many years. I realized I had torn my marriage down. I was selfish, things always had to be my way. But, thanks to our Beloved, in His infinite mercy He took me from the quicksand where I was and opened my eyes to the truth, which is His Word and placed me on the Rock. The truth as it says in His Word, it sets us free and I am so grateful for that.

With God everything is possible! Today I am a new woman. I know I still need to change, but my Darling is shaping me every day, all glory and praise for Him. God is shaping us all and as this happens our situation is transformed because He makes all things work together for our good.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Tiara, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

We must put God first in our lives, we must cry out to Him and cry for Him only. We cannot cry for our husband. He must be who we want. I tried to follow the principles in the "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" book, but until He was my HH I would change but change back again. This book is wonderful and clear to know more about the Word of God and to hold on to His Promises for my life. But it was learning to live abundantly that I changed inside and supernaturally began to follow the principles without even trying.

Fasting and prayers helped me, to humble me, and still helps me a lot to keep my gentle and quiet spirit. It is also necessary to put on all spiritual weapons and of course the Word of God.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Tiara?

The most difficult times were when my son and I stayed in our hometown while my husband lived a “single” life. It hurt my heart and I had many nights of crying, where I cried out to God on my knees to remove this suffering. At all times, I felt His Presence comforting me and giving me strength to continue for the Glory of His Kingdom.

It was during the most painful moments of my Journey when I realized God was always by my side and when I thought about giving up, He told me to believe Him for my marriage.

Tiara, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

The turning point was when I started to depend more on God and less on my husband. And God in His infinite power began to orchestrate everything in my favor. I had a lot of difficulty to stop fighting in the flesh, so I saw that the more I stopped fighting in the flesh, the more God acted in my favor. So sisters, let God be God so that things will start to flow. I started praising Him in all situations and that totally changed the spiritual atmosphere in my home and life.

And I surrendered my future and that of my son to my HH so that it could be done according to His Will. Let it be said in passing that His will, His plan is so much better than ours.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say: rejoice! Let your kindness be known to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, in prayer and supplications, and with thanksgiving, submit your requests to God." Philippians 4:4-6

Tell us HOW it happened, Tiara? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Tiara, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

One morning I received the news that my husband had been fired and the OW had also been let go. My husband called me a day later to say that he had been fired (he didn't comment on the other person's dismissal and I didn't ask anything either) and that he was returning to our hometown. I praised God, because I knew it was His acting and restoration must be His plan.

Reading a lesson that day, I was able to see how real what Sister Erin is telling us about the return of our husbands, coming home after a crisis hits. When my husband returned to our home and hometown, it was not as I expected. He was not a man transformed nor did he ask for forgiveness.

It is as Erin tells us, in the beginning there is no way you want this restored marriage, but as each day passes, you begin to see God completing what He started (as long as you don’t go back to the way you would have handled each crisis). As I kept my HH first, which isn’t easy but I snuck away to be intimate with Him, I began to see many changes in my husband’s behavior. He began making plans for our future. Again, I know that God will finish what He started and that it is God, not us who restores. He is in control of the situation. Only God could have orchestrated what led to my restoration: my husband returned back home, after he was fired, and what led to him also not having contact with the OW or wanting contact because she is what caused him to be fired (which I learned later). I know it was God who allowed this to happen and got him out of that place in his life so we could be restored and start over.

That was one of the answers to one of my prayers, I asked God to build a hedge of thorns around my husband and get him out of that city and that job so that we could be together as a family.

"Like streams of water like this is the heart of the king in the hand of the Lord, who inclines him to all his will." Proverbs 21: 1

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and he will grant you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37: 4

"Therefore, behold, I will surround your way with thorns; and I will erect a wall of hedge, lest she find her paths. She will go after her lovers, but she will not reach them; and she will seek them, but not them. she will find it, then she will say: I will go, and I will become my first husband, because I was better off then than now. " Hosea 2: 6-7

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Tiara?

Yes, the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, Daily Encourager, Devotionals, Courses and also the book A Wise Woman, which I am reading now.

These resources are a blessing for us who are thirsty for truth and for real change in our lives.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Tiara?

Yes, I really want to be able to help other women.

Either way, Tiara, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

My dear sisters in Christ, never give up on your families. For our God is a God of truth and makes the impossible happen. He is faithful to fulfill every Promise that has been promised to us. So take advantage of this moment in your journey to delight in the Lord.

I will be praying for all of you and already with certainty, can see the victory for each one of you. ?

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust him, and he will do everything." Psalm 37:5

Find more encouragement and overcome the hurdle of #Gentle & Quiet Spirit by clicking on the #TAG linked to Restored Marriage Testimonies.

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