RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “OW’s Husband sent me Intimate Photos of my Husband and his Wife!”

 

Chen, how did your restoration actually begin?

I knew our marriage was not going well. I was always a woman full of herself, selfish, hypocritical, a Pharisee, and I always wanted to be right about everything, never apologizing even if I was wrong. So we argued a lot, and when I became really angry I even hit him. Due to all of this, our relationship and his love for me, I could tell, was wearing off, and we began getting distant. At one point, when I first realized that he was distant, I tried to change things, but he was already a long way off emotionally from me.

It happened on a Monday when he arrived home from work, he lay down next to me but said nothing, so I questioned him, and he tried to explain himself more--trying to tell me how he was feeling, the love he no longer felt. So I told him to just get out. I was so hurt and angry. So at the end of this same week, one day he just did not come home. I was shocked and collapsed on the floor because I knew he'd decided to leave me for good.

How did God change your situation, Chen, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

After a week of him not coming back, I began searching for testimonies of restored marriages online. I am convinced it was God who guided me to the RMI website, because the moment I read it was my Divine Appointment, I just knew He heard my cries.

I fell in love with everything I read. I bought and read the entire book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, and I began to apply all the principles. I did not call him; I did not seek to know where he was, and as a result—God really supplied all my needs!

First, God gave me my Heavenly Husband, so I was not alone, and I found comfort and peace in my storm. My HH was with me in all moments of pain. Each and every night when my journey started, I cried a lot, prayed and repented while I journaled. I began praising God for each crisis, and I taught my children to do the same when they were hurt (whether from their father or from something at school). They began calling God their Heavenly Father and were no longer insecure or sad.

I found my love song early on and would wake up singing. I was always joyful, always happy. The old me was gone, and everyone told me I was glowing. Psalm 34:5, “They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces will never be ashamed.”

Not only were my children and I close, but God used this crisis for me to get close to my mother-in-law. We were never very close before, but God used this situation, not only mend our past (which was something my husband always asked me to do, but I was too proud, expecting her to apologize). I shared the lessons on having a Heavenly Husband with her (she was recently widowed), and she told me she was able to be happy again and move on with her life. It was strange at first calling my Creator my Husband, but the more I embraced this, the more I felt Him embrace me.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Chen, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

Immediately, when I began to read the first chapter of How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, the scales of my eyes fell, and I could see how wrong I was. What I knew I needed most was that I needed to put God first in my life. I was away from the presence of God in my life. Every Sunday night, I felt a huge emptiness inside me, and on several occasions, I asked God to make a way for me to go back to His house, because before I was super active in the church, and I'd helped in several departments.

As I waited, He answered, when I saw we are His church! The moment I read about Restoration Fellowship, I applied, and my eyes were opened to how I'd robbed my husband of being my spiritual leader and the leader of our family.

The principles here are straight from the Word of God; they are not anyone's opinions. Each of the resources from the RMI website has taught me so much: being gentle and quiet, letting go, seeking God first, having a  Heavenly Husband for ourselves, and helping our children understand and embrace their Heavenly Father (who goes everywhere with them, to protect and guide them).

It seems like every day more things are being added to us, like the benefit of reading Psalms and Proverbs every day, fasting (not just of food but other things like Facebook), not trying to do it on our own, asking our HH to do it, and when we need wisdom asking God. The first time I tried asking, I asked God to teach me how to feel the love of being my HH, because it just wasn't working for me. I was not getting it. Then I found the Love songs teaching and read the testimonies, and I just sensed it was about to happen to me!

I also asked God how to give a gentle answer to people who oppose what I was doing. I had a great aunt who strongly encouraged me to give up on my marriage, to move on. She is very involved in her church, and she was saying there's nothing wrong with divorce and remarriage. But just as Erin teaches, we need to be respectful, be agreeable, so I promised I would move on. So when she saw me all glowing, she was so happy that I'd found Someone! I moved on and found my HH.

There's just so much encouragement in Erin's books and offered free on these websites, which is why I became a partner. I made a prayer closet (on the side of the closet), where I could be alone (from the children—because they found me everywhere else), and it is my special place to meet with Him.  

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Chen?

The hardest time I can remember is back when I'd hear my children calling for their dad, and he would never pick up or return their calls. Yet, this is what led to me asking God for wisdom and discovering the beauty of my children having their Heavenly Father.

There was also an extremely difficult moment, early on, when I woke up on a Sunday morning, and I received a message on Facebook from a stranger. When I opened it, there were intimate photos of my husband with an OW. I got very ill; I actually threw up, but I clung to God at that moment. Of course, I immediately let go and fasted Facebook after that, repenting that I hadn't done it sooner when it was taught in my lessons.

It was difficult, also, to know that my whole family had already seen the photos, and I was the last to know, because I had let go of the group of women I'd been hanging around with (We all gossipped horribly, so I knew I couldn't be part of that, nor could I judge them.) It was a family member who informed me of the OW's identity, that he got involved with a work colleague, which I was upset to know at first, but it was God who was preparing me.

The OW’s husband called me, and that's when I found out it was he who sent the intimate photos of my husband and his wife to me and my family. With the teachings of RMI, I was able to not only explain that I preferred not to continue the conversation (once I found out who it was and what he wanted), but I also offered to send him a link to hopeAtLast.com, explaining that if he was hurting, he could find hope. (I don't know if he ever clicked on the link or read anything, but I just sensed it was what God wanted me to do.)  

Chen, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?  

God heard every one of my prayers, and I changed my prayers to simply praying His Word back to Him, "not returning void." This helped me let go completely, and then I began to find myself asking my HH to keep things just as they are. I not only didn't long for restoration, but I also began to not want it at all. That's when I read what Erin said, that it's not about what we want, but us wanting His perfect plan. This was a pivotal moment in my journey.

Just as so many women say in their restored marriage testimonies, it was less than a week after I no longer wanted restoration when I got several messages on my cell phone from my EH, saying that he wanted to talk to me, if I would please answer him. I waited because I didn't know what to say and wasn't sure I was ready. So then he called and asked me if we could meet to talk, so I said okay. He told me he'd meet me at my work (which is “so God,” because my coworkers told me it would never happen, that he'd never come back).

That evening, he took me to the best restaurant by the lake. We mostly talked about the children and his work, and then he finally told me that he did not know what I wanted for my life, that he could see I was very happy. Then he said, "Chen, I just want my family back; I want you back in my life,” and he kissed me, and we both began to cry.

Tell us HOW it happened, Chen. Did your husband just walk in the front door? Chen, did you suspect, or could you tell you were close to being restored?

I was not discouraged when he did not come home immediately that night, but whenever he came over, he was always nice and always pleasant. What's amazing is that I didn't care and was basically relieved he wasn't moving back in. He always left saying that he would come back soon and that he did not know what I was doing but encouraged me to continue whatever I was doing, because it was working. I wasn't sure if he was talking about my prayers or how I'd changed.

It happened this past Father's Day when he came back with all of his things. I did not suspect anything that day; he just called and asked where we were. I said, "At home," and just a half an hour later, he came walking in and said to me and the children, "I’m back home. I'm home for good."

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Chen?

I highly recommend the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. I also recommend the courses that I am still doing every morning so that I can continue to change more and more and continue to be the bride of my Beloved Heavenly Husband. I also continue to study A Wise Woman that He’d led me to begin just weeks before my restoration.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Chen?

Yes, I am very interested in helping other women.

Either way, Chen, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Dear brides, trust in God and follow all the principles written in all the books, and take the courses to journal this amazing journey you're on. Everything here is directly from the Bible; everything is the pure Word of God for us.

Love God with all your heart, because His plan is what's best for you. God loves us and sent His Son, not just to be our Savior when we die, like Erin says, but in order for us to live life abundantly.

Our HH wants to see us happy; this is what allows God to finish what He started and also draws others to want to know Him. If you are a quarrelsome woman right now, like I was, it will only lead you to destroy your own house. With His love, you can become a loving, Godly woman, because it's only through His love that you can change.

"...No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him” (1 Corinthians 2:9 ESV).