RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “Please Make Me a New Woman”

♕ Today's Promise: “He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” Psalm 23:3

 

 

Alice, how did your restoration actually begin?

Good morning beloved brides! I've missed all of you. I haven't submitted anything for quite some time and felt convicted. I want to help other women, but I often find myself disappearing because I feel limited in my abilities and I didn't know how to help. I'm so thankful I returned and see FB ministries giving me a way to help.

I came to this ministry desperate because I had tried finding help with several pastors, went to a women's retreat on marriage, but got no good answers about my marriage situation.

My husband left home in May about four years before finding RMI. We had a discussion that turned nasty, which was the last straw for both of us. We lived for fighting, we had no peace in our home and I lived in a deep depression. He was either away or spending all his time on the Internet when he was home. He began adding a bunch of weird women to his facebook. I didn't understand what was going on and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't change it. I complained all the time that he no longer read the Bible nor prayed. I saw his faith slipping through his hands and could do nothing. Now I know it's because only He, our dearly Beloved, could do it. But at the time I was a Pharisee and I thought I was very Holy and anointed. It annoyed my EH even more because I was far from Holy, I was contentious and annoying, manipulative and had no clue about the truth but that didn’t stop me from preaching at everyone. 

We actually had a messed up relationship since we first met. But God has been good to us in our lives, love has always been present despite so much turmoil. The reason he turned away from me and tried to talk to other women was the way I treated him, always harsh and defensive. I did not follow the word of God and I was nothing but constant dripping, a contentious woman. 

How did God change your situation, Alice, as you sought Him wholeheartedly? 

When I discovered the RMI website I had hope for the first time, I found what I was looking for and couldn't find anywhere else. I was hungry for God, I read the daily praise reports, all the books, and I meditated on the Word. God changed me when I recognized how unbearable I was to live with and asked my Husband to please make me a new woman. That's when I felt Him so close to me that I could hear His voice talking to me.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Alice, did the Lord teach you during this trial? 

I learned to wait and rest in Him, for without Him we are nothing and we can do nothing. I was always very anxious and had to obsess about everything I didn't think was perfect, not in myself but in everyone else. I learned to forgive, I thought I would never be able to forgive him for abandoning me and getting involved with other women. But when I did I was set free to love.

I learned to humble myself and ask forgiveness in the midst of this whole situation, I forgave others and forgave my husband, but first asking God to forgive me. I fed on daily praise reports and testimonies and reading the Word, I sang much praise when I was desperate and the Lord calmed me. I changed to singing love songs that brought me into a deep intimacy with my HH. I read your books How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and A Wise Woman, each taught me how God wanted to change me to be a woman under His control according to the will of God.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Alice?

The worst times were when I learned of other women and then again when I accepted God's will when I found out he was involved with OW. When he would spend time with her and he didn't want to come back to me, but just wanted to be with me from time to time.

It was very difficult to obey this principle of accepting it, of letting go, because even my best friend who accompanied me throughout this journey of separation was against this principle and prayed against me. But the Lord gave me a picture, it was amazing how the answers came. 

Erin's Be Encouraged videos helped me a lot by answering my questions at the right time. And a lot of prayers helped me to stay focused on the journey I was on with Him.

Alice, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?  

When I reached my limit, when I finally broke, and I spoke to the Lord telling Him that I couldn't take it anymore and was willing to let my husband go. I didn't want to be with him anymore or see him anymore. 

It's when I became cold with him, disinterested that things turned around. I pretended to let go prior to this many times but he always saw through me. I know if I'd had the Lord where He should have been in my life and heart, letting go would have been much easier. But God allowed me to get to this place of brokenness, then I let go, and right away things changed. The worst part is that I left RMI thinking I should go because I didn't want restoration. But this is what they try to explain from the beginning but I didn't get it. Being here is to remain a wise woman, to become closer as His bride. 

Tell us HOW it happened, Alice? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Alice, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? 

When he realized my lack of interest was real, he was afraid of losing me and asked me, then begged me to return home.

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Alice?

I recommend all the resources from RMI, especially reading the daily praise reports and doing each of the recommended courses. A huge thanks to this ministry, and especially to Erin, thank you so much for surrendering yourself into God's hands so that He could use you in this wonderful way. How can I begin to tell you how much you've meant to me and to all of us?

I have been asking God to direct me so that I can be an instrument in His hands and help other women as you have, but as I said when I began my testimony I haven’t done anything. I think it’s because I have a hard time writing and expressing myself I feel inadequate. 

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Alice? 

Yes, I really want to help, but I didn’t know how. I had been asking God for direction and am so thankful I came back when I did to find How to Become a Minister.

Either way, Alice, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Do not give up on doing God's will. Give it all into His hands, do it without worry or despair, rest in Him and He will take care of the whole situation.