Renata, how did your restoration actually begin?
We were married in early 2012 and our crisis began two years later when I discovered my EH was committing adultery. I did not know God, I had only heard about Him. But I did not know Him, and I honestly did not want to know Him. So I reacted according to my own instincts. I wanted to "pay" my husband back for his adultery. I also fall into the pit of adultery. In a strange way I wanted it to "discount" or lessen what he had done to me. After many fights, due to both our adulteries, our marriage was over a year later in 2015.
How did God change your situation Renata as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
I was more than willing to get a divorce. So I went to Google about the types of divorce, and I found lawyers I planned to contact, but then, out of nowhere, I was curious: What does God think about this? My heart and my lack of understanding told me that God wants everyone happy and because we were not happy it was ok to divorce. Even so the doubt did not leave me ...
So, I decided to research about God and divorce and so I was directed to the passage in Malachi where He says he hates divorce. I canceled this idea and then began researching how to restore my marriage, and that’s when my HH guided me to the RMI.
I began reading the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and then, for the first time, I began to read the Bible. Before coming here, I did not even know where to start … it was all the verses quoted in the book that were essential to me finding a relationship with God the Father and then later with my HH.
At first all I wanted was for God to restore my marriage (soon) but as time passed and He began healing and transforming me. Then I began to desire all of Him in my life. I began to love our moments together: talking to Him, singing to Him, meditating on His Word and I was even led to compose a song for Him!
My focus changed little by little and then I began to ask for a restored marriage but only if God was in our lives as a couple. I did not want my old marriage again! I really wanted my EH back but with my HH being part of everything in our lives!
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Renata, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
For sure, the most important is to win everything without words! I always had to be right, I always had to have the last word, so staying still and quiet was not easy for me. What helped was when I began and practiced fasting since I had no strength to argue, which was great for me because besides keeping the peace, ultimately I lost 24 pounds in just weeks. I looked and felt better too.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Renata?
My EH started asking me for a child, since we had no children and until then I dreamed of restoring my marriage first. But my EH insisted that he wanted a child, so I decided to submit myself and I gave everything into the Lord's hands and almost immediately I became pregnant.
My EH didn’t return home during the entire 9 months of my pregnancy. But I had a certainty: just as my HH said He would not leave me alone, He would also take care of my me and my daughter! When I was about halfway through the pregnancy I got a call from my mother-in-law stating that my EH was with a girlfriend. I said to her, 'May the will of the Lord be done!' I was a little sad, of course, but I knew the Lord was in control of everything. When I saw my EH the next time, I did not confront him about it and I did not even touch this subject whatsoever because I had the full conviction that God was taking care of it for me!
Renata, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
It was when I let him go of my EH and also my restoration, completely. Whenever I needed something during pregnancy it was My Beloved who gave it to me! Even in the daily troubles like small repairs that were needed in my house, He guided me and enabled me to perform anything that was necessary! Whenever my EH said goodbye, he asked me to call him for anything I needed, but I always preferred to seek my HH, my Beloved!
At one point my EH’s mother was confronting me to do something to stop him because, she said, I was being very "permissive" with her son. But I always responded that in our fights he complained about the lack of freedom in the relationship to do things alone, without my interference, so I did not and would not interfere in his life now. In my heart I knew that My Beloved would do everything for me, all I had to do was to speak to my HH and trust in His plans!
Tell us HOW it happened Renata? Did your husband just walk in the front door?
I wanted the Lord to restore my marriage by having my EH and have it happen during surgery! My birth was a planned cesarean and my EH said he wanted to accompany me and be there for the birth of our daughter. Well, he sat beside me he said, "I'm coming home!" I was already under the effects of the anesthetic and it almost "erased" my memory, but I do remember that I answered, “You have said this so many other times ...” Then he interrupted saying, “But today it is for real, my bags are already packed!”
When I was discharged we returned home together, he brought only a few clothes at first, but now he has gone back and brought all the rest!
Please let me take this opportunity to ask forgiveness from my Beloved for not sharing my testimony before ... Our daughter is already 6 months! But it's so hard with a little baby at home. I’m sure you moms understand. 🙂
Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Renata?
Yes, for sure begin with the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. I confess that because I did not have any semblance of a Christian walk, when I read that I should win without words, it seemed like a bad joke. It was quite the opposite of what I was willing to do. But believe! Submit yourselves to the truths because they work! You’ll also need to go through A Wise Woman for when you’re restored. Trying to do these afterwards would mean having your husband leave again. I know this because it’s happened to some of my friends.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Renata?
Yes for sure. I help anyone who asks or even mentions having marriage issues.
Either way Renata, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Do not give up! Many, many times I felt tired and wanted to give up. So often "apparently" nothing was happening and I thought about giving up. But never forget we live by faith not by sight and when you do, when you let go of everything and make Him your HH then God will restore you!!
