RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “RMI’s “Absurd” Principles Became My Lifeline”

♕ Today's Promise: “Thy testimonies also are my delight; They are my counselors.” Psalm 119:24

 

 

Delilah, how did your restoration actually begin?

My husband and I were very happy during our fifteen-year relationship, from when we first started dating and got engaged to when we first got married. But then, shortly after we married, I found out that he’d gotten involved with a “friend” from work. At first, I just cried and wanted so much to forgive him and help him out of this situation.

When I confronted him, he was so very sorry, and he cried a lot, but because he continued working at the same company, along with the OW, I just knew it would continue. It did. Soon after, my EH moved out, and during our first separation, they did not move in together as a couple. They were dating. I already knew about RMI, because a friend had introduced me, but I found it absurd to follow some of the principles in the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. I was alone in prayer (with a forgiving heart), and it was a month after the separation that God used to get my attention when my husband returned to our home. 

After two months, he was still working with the OW, and he left home again for our second separation. This was when I started acting like every jealous wife, by making anonymous calls, locking him out of a lot of online stuff, and a lot more "silly woman" nonsense—ultimately tearing my house down completely. This time, I completely threw my husband into the OW's arms, and they decided to move in and live together. 

After three months of living apart, my husband decided to return to our house; he said he missed his son and his wife very much and felt God calling him to return to his family and His presence. This time, everything seemed to be going very well for us. We decided to move back to our small town, where we'd met. He quit his job where the OW worked, got a job in our hometown, and we were living happily—or so I thought. Then, out of nowhere, he threatened to commit suicide. From that moment on, he only thought about her, and I started to realize that I was always the reason for our separation. When he told me that he couldn't stop thinking about the OW and that he would be going back to her, I realized that I would never be able to trust him again. 

It was at this moment, when our third separation took place, that everything went wrong. My husband went back to the OW, while my son and I continued living in the same small town. My world collapsed; this time, because we had moved away from everyone, my son was enrolled in a new school, and I was alone, no longer in control. Finally, God got my attention, and all of RMI’s "absurd" principles became my lifeline.

How did God change your situation, Delilah, as you sought Him wholeheartedly? 

At that moment, I began to realize that I was doing everything wrong; I had no idea what God had for me. I regretted never sending a restored marriage testimony, but since I'd done it in my own strength, using the world's tactics, it would never have been honoring God. 

It was then that I started to put into practice every single thing I had been reading in the book, and I also began not just skimming over the Courses—I began journalling and pouring my heart out to God. I was able to confess and really speak to Him about how I was feeling, and I focused on the principles in each lesson. Immediately, I could see God was working in my life in a very special way. Mainly, I started to see my husband with other eyes of love, patience, kindness, etc. from 1 Corinthians 13. This happened almost immediately when I started the first Fellowship Course, and I met my HH during Finding the Abundant Life. I stopped listening to "Those Voices" and heard Him say "You're Beautiful!!." Very soon, I was "Utterly Lovesick"!!

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Delilah, did the Lord teach you during this trial? 

God helped me understand that I could live very well without my earthly husband, so I became less controlling and manipulating to everyone in my life, no longer striving to get what I "thought" I needed. I had all I needed or wanted in Him. I began to put my HH first in my life; everything I do is about Him. I live for Him. It was such a shock that the absence of my earthly husband began to become completely insignificant, while all bitterness and anguish over the memories and disappointments began to dissolve away. God began to heal me of everything, as I asked Him and allowed Him to do that in every area of my life. I no longer felt the pain of separation or betrayal and all that I was made to suffer. That foolish woman who talked too much, thankfully, died. I did not judge my husband, did not seek him, nor seek money from him, and I allowed myself to be intimate with him when he came to visit, even knowing that he was already living with another woman since we were still legally married.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Delilah?

The most difficult time was probably when the OW posted several pictures of them on several social networks, and friends of my son began to make fun of him. It was also difficult when my son saw them walking along the street holding hands, and then my husband used this situation to blame it on me. It hurt when he told our son that I was missing important aspects of what a wife should be, so he had to be with someone else.

Thankfully, I'd learned from RMI to take full responsibility (rather than argue or defend myself) and lay it as my Lover's feet. I felt at peace, and soon after, both my husband and son began to praise me, just as it says will happen in Proverbs 31.

Delilah, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?  

This time, I figured it would take a long time for him to come back home, mainly because I was more than "fine without him." But I was wrong again. My husband took our son out alone, just him and our son, and the following day he sent me a text message saying that he missed me very much. Soon after, he asked me out on a date that led to us being intimate. While he was leaving, he took hold of my hands and tearfully begged me to pray for him, because he was miserable and wanted out of the way he was living. He said he could no longer stand to be away from his family and loathed the OW. 

Tell us HOW it happened, Delilah. Did your husband just walk in the front door? Delilah, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? 

Yes, it happened without warning. On a sunny Saturday, my son and I were getting ready to go out to breakfast, when he appeared. On the porch were bags full of all his clothes, and shoes, and personal belongings. After almost four months of being separated the third time—GOD restored our marriage. I knew I didn't need to try to keep him home, or monitor him, or control anything. I just needed to keep my HH first and go to Him with all my needs or concerns. 

After he was home for five months, he told me how different I was and how life for him was so much easier, because I'd changed. He wanted to know how I'd done it, so I told him about RMI, and I told him they'd sent a gift for him to make changes—but only if he was interested. So far, every night he's stayed up reading A Wise Man in bed. Talk about a miracle I thought I'd never see!! 

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Delilah?

How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage also begin to study A Wise Woman. Do the FREE online courses; pour your heart into the journals, and, if you want the pain to stop, take the Abundant Life courses.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Delilah? 

Yes

Either way, Delilah, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Don't try to do this yourself. Don't ever think anything in any of the courses is absurd (like I did), so you will be spared a lot of time of suffering, and you will begin to live life abundantly. No matter what your situation is, God is faithful to remake you and give you the miracle of a restored marriage and an Abundant Life. God is the God of miracles!!

Delight in the Lord; trust in Him and the more He will do for you!!!!!