RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “Weeping Lasts for a Night, Joy Comes in the Morning!”

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Danielle, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

Danielle, how did your restoration actually begin?

It all started in September five years ago when during a fight I asked for a separation. It turned out that we did not separate at that time, but I planted a terrible seed. Dear ones, we need to pay a lot of attention to the empty, foolish words we utter because we will have to deal with them in the future. In fact, I asked for a divorce so he would learn a lesson and be afraid of losing me. How silly and stupid. Like so many women, I thought I was being an intelligent, independent woman. But I was following a lie, in fact I was a silly, proud, contentious woman and had been encouraged to be one by everyone. The first person I hurt was my dear HH. I was the exact opposite of the wise woman. I was quarrelsome, proud, destroying everyone around me with my sarcasm brought on by my envy. Time passed after my stupid suggestions, and even though I lived with him, I became more and more contentious and ended up making him and our daughters suffer. So, five years ago, in September, we had another fight and the tables turned—he asked me to leave the house. Suddenly when I realized what I had done, it was too late and I had destroyed my marriage and my entire life.

How did God change your situation Danielle as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

I cried a lot and looked for support in people. Again, I did everything wrong. People had nothing to offer. Only He has Words of Life. All the people I sought for advice told me that there was no way a restoration was possible and that I should give up and move on. They told me that even God does not interfere with a person's free will when it is decided. My husband chose to be rid of me and that was it. Even my family was telling me to go find a new husband and start another family. I was living with my mother and father at that time and I was in my room crying all day. On one of these days, I asked God to help me. If there was a way, a solution to this mess, I asked that He would show me. The first thing that happened was that He started to change my heart so I could hear what He had to say to me. He was calming my heart as I read the Word and He began to keep me company in my room, talking to me and healing my heart. A few days later, I no longer cried. In fact, I smiled again.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Danielle, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

Once He knew I was ready, the Lord led me to read Erin's book "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" and that was the catalyst that changed me forever. Before, when I read the Bible I did not always understand or know how to apply that Word in my life. Erin's book helped me to better understand all that the Bible says about being a woman who pleases God's heart.

The change began to really happen when I decided to apply in my life all that I found in the Word of God. If I read it in the Bible, I would do it. If I did not read it in the Bible, I would not do it. His Word began to wash away all the anger and pride I had in my heart. Wash me clean and make me new! And suddenly, I became calmer, more delicate, and more humble. I treated everyone with kindness, and all that horrid sarcasm was gone from my heart and lips. How good it was to walk lovingly with the people around me !!!! It seemed like a dream, I seemed like another person, this was not me !!!! It was His love working in my life! My way of being a daughter, a mother, and an employee has changed completely since that day. My greatest joy became simply talking to Him alone in my room, singing love songs to My Beautiful Beloved—He became the great love of my life. Believe it or not, I have changed so much that I don't mind and prefer to get stuck in traffic. Talking to Him, singing and listening to the Bible on my audio version. It's like listening to God my Father speaking to me.

Another change is that I stopped having lunch with my coworkers. Ungodly talking corrupts good manners. So I began to bring my lunch from home and had lunch alone with Him. I still had time to read and listen to the Bible at lunchtime so I've been able to read through the entire Bible five times already this year. What lovely days I wake up to. I sit in the presence of my HH, warming myself in the Sun of His presence! I learned this in the book "A Wise Woman" along with reading workers@home so I now know how to take better care of my house, and the children. I limit the children's television and increased the hugs, the jokes and the time teaching about what I learned that day, what their Father God wants me to teach them. Such a different life for all of us!

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Danielle?

The most difficult was to apply the "Let It Go" principle because I hadn't yet had my arms wrapped around my HH. I did not keep calling my land husband or going after him. That was not it. But I'd think about him all the time, dream about him and sometimes found myself shamefully snooping on his facebook and his cell phone.

I knew I had to get him out of my mind and my heart, I had to hand it to Him to finally be able to rest in God. I suffered a lot when I discovered that my earthly husband was talking very badly about me to his family and his friends. Everyone was very supportive of him getting rid of me and offering to help pay for a divorce. He was already dating just weeks after he kicked me out and he had the support of everyone around him to move on and find a decent wife and mother for our children.

I was sick hearing this, but I gave it all into God's hands and I did not confront him (or his family) even during times when they'd be in my face about it. In fact, before my transformation I would have stood up to them, spit in their faces and walked away feeling great satisfaction that I was a strong woman. But today, I have His true love that throws away all the fear and bitterness and I shower myself in His love. His love and His Word washes me of all evil, and leaves me lotioned with His comfort.

At the end of February, two and a half years into my Restoration Journey, my land husband talked to me and asked me to make the divorce official. I heard and remembered everything I learned from Erin about the Word of God. At the time of that conversation, I was initially sad, more at what it would do to our children. But just as the Word says, weeping will last for a night, but joy comes in the morning!

Danielle, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

The greatest turning point came when I thought, "I have my HH, so I have everything I need." I woke up the day after my EH asked me to finalize the divorce, (we slept in the same house that night because one of the girls was horribly sick, but we were in separate rooms). Wow, instead of crying, I was happy to have my HH in my life. I started the day by singing a love song of gratitude and then went into look after the girls and care for my mother with all the love He'd showered on me that morning. I prepared a special breakfast and invited My Beautiful Husband to be with us that morning! Meanwhile, my earthly husband seemed to harden his heart more and more. But I was more than all right, I knew He was working. I simply felt a lot of peace in what was to be the final storm.

Tell us HOW it happened Danielle? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Danielle, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

My earthly husband was watching my behavior and ten days later came to talk to me and asked me "Are you dating anyone?" I said no, that I was just in a state of peace since my life was in the hands of God. But he kept insisting, he continued to think that I was dating someone because I was very quiet and he said that I was visibly in love with whoever it was. But I really am in love with my HH! That's what he did! But he continued to worry and then two days later, he called me to talk again and said, "I never stopped loving you, and I want you to know I'm very sorry for what I did to you. He said everything is over with the OW and he had made plans for the whole family to be together.

Next, I heard that he changed his Facebook page as married.

We are now living a life I never dreamed was possible. Our home has never been so quiet and peaceful. I know in my heart that I can not go back to being the person I used to be. My marriage has been restored, yes. Alleluia glory to God!!!!

A few days after my restoration I found myself slipping, starting to say how I was feeling rather than talking to Him about it. So I began fasting again. I fast two days a week to weaken my flesh and strengthen my spirit and I find my love for Him has fully returned.

I still choose to apply the principles of "letting go" and find he has continued to pursue me. Another important thing is that I do not talk too much (knowing that my EH will be won without words) and if I do say anything, I choose words of sweetness (the soft word that's healing to the bones). Above all, I choose to abandon all bitterness, anger and shouting and choose to walk in love. This can only happen when we are filled with His love!

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Danielle?

The book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and the book A Wise Woman were very important to help open my eyes and make me a totally new woman. Finding the Abundant Life Course helped me discover my HH. Also what cleansed me from all bitterness and anger was reading through the reading through the Bible and having the Alexandar Scourby app. His Word cleansed me.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Danielle?

Yes

Either way Danielle, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Dear brides, let your earthly husband go. Do not snoop into his life, do not try to find out what he is doing. Occupy your thought and your life with Him and cleanse your heart by reading through the Bible and discover His love letters to you. He is the only Man capable of making you truly happy. Not only does this allow your flesh to be killed each day, because more of you must leave to give more space for you to receive more of the character of Love of Him in you. Stay in peace, do not give up, keep moving along your journey and in everything, be thankful to the Lord. The closer you are to your HH, the closer you will be to your restoration.