♕Today's Promise: "The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes." Proverbs 21:1
Kayla, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
I come from a family of 10 daughters. We didn't have any biological brothers, so later my parents adopted a boy. Before that, imagine a house with 11 females and one male (my father). My mother didn't have time for us and didn’t teach us how to be wives. When I got married I had my mother who I mirrored. Even though I was one of the calmest, I was still influenced by her example, she liked to argue, to be right, and was contentious and quarrelsome, which I mimicked becoming my “qualities” as well.
I met my husband through my mother-in-law. After we spent just a short time together, we got married. We went to church and my husband accepted Him as his Lord and Savior and started to work in ministry. Following my mother’s example, who was always at home and always left my father alone, I did the same. My husband played sports and I didn't— I didn’t follow anything he did, I just wanted to work and take care of the house as I learned.
Over time we had a daughter and then my time with my EH (earthly husband) was less than nothing. When he left the Lord’s work, then I started a ministry in the church. We lived our lives differently, separately. Many times he warned me that it’s a mistake to live our lives like this. He made several attempts to approach me, but I didn't care. To me, my marriage was great. It was then that he distanced himself. Once a man who was very affectionate became distant, that didn’t make sense, until one day when I fiddled with the computer, unintentionally discovering many things I wish to God I hadn’t seen!
Enraged, I fought, said he was going to leave because I didn’t trust him. Full of suspicions and more jealousy, I considered kicking him out. That's when a friend sent me a link to the book (How God can and will restore your marriage). The moment I started reading it I was in shock! I started to see everything I had done and how much I gave my husband to the world and I didn't take care of the family that the Lord gave me.
Then something happened inside me, I saw my mistakes, but my pride wouldn't let me change. I chose to believe I was the victim. As I read, things fell into place inside me, but I still resisted. I kept leaving my EH (earthly husband) alone and everything he did that I didn’t like, each of his mistakes, I threw in his face. After a while, he didn’t care anymore. I wanted to change, but I couldn’t. I continued to stay at home and didn't accompany him anywhere when he asked me to come.
How did God change your situation, Kayla, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
God broke me and started to build me back up with His love. I joined RF, began taking your courses, let go of church, didn't talk about my marriage to anyone anymore and the Lord became my Husband. Shortly after this, I didn't know how to live without Him anymore.
Time passed and even though I read the books, taking the courses, I no longer really had a marriage and that made me suffer a lot, feeling I was a fraud. My EH was almost no longer at home. He was living a life apart from us (me and my daughter). Then one day he said we needed to be separated, and went to live with his mother, while my daughter and I stayed in our home—and my beloved Husband. It was there that I gave myself totally to the Lord...when my EH had given up on us. That’s when the Lord became my Husband and took care of me all the time. I worked a lot (early morning until late in the evening) and the commute was grueling. I took 3 buses to get to work but that’s when I read the Psalms and Proverbs every day. I began reading through the Bible and made sure to wear dark glasses so no one would see me cry.
I honestly never felt more cared for, more loved, more forgiven and life was beginning to spring up inside me! It was my Beloved who was stirring things inside and comforting me. He began healing me from all childhood wounds, mistakes I’d made during my adolescence, and the guilt of my failed marriage. I started to smile and longed to be with Him. At lunchtime, I would run to eat and enjoy an hour listening and reading the Word. I let everything go and left it in His hands. I was in love! There is no other way to describe it! He provided everything for me and changed my temper. I didn't look for my EH for anything. I thought he might have someone, but I didn't know anything, nor did I care. My Beautiful Husband protected me from everything. I lived in a bubble.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Kayla, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
Letting go was a struggle at first. I didn't look for him, but I thought about him all the time. But little by little, my HH (Heavenly Husband) was transforming me and I just wanted to be with HIM and my daughter, I didn't care much about what my EH did. He lived at my mother-in-law's house that was near our home, so he stopped by our house every day. When he was there, I treated him well, did not argue or ask about when he would return or what he was doing. To be honest, I was anxious for him to leave so I could be with my Beloved. I watch the videos of Erin speaking to me. I learned a lot. When I was downcast, I cried out to the Lord and He answered me, loved me, and filled the emptiness inside me. Things I never learned to be I was now becoming: a wife, a friend, a companion. He was making these things born again in me and the guilt of not having done this in my life faded.
The thought of marriage also faded away. He was all I wanted, needed, and lived for. Then one day I looked at my EH for the first time in ages and I saw his suffering. Something very serious was going on, clearly a battle within him. It was my HH stirring things around inside him too. He approached me, then immediately distanced himself from me at the same time. I no longer suffered, but I was loving my HH so much that I just wanted Him and no other.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Kayla?
The most difficult hours were watching him arrive at dawn because I live in the upstairs apartment of my mother-in-law's house. And when he spent nights away, the enemy taunted me. But my Beloved took care of me at all times and I fell asleep and rested in perfect peace.
Kayla, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point was when I found out about an OW (other woman). She put a picture of them on her WhatsApp profile and I saw it. I was on the bus and started to cry as she was a close friend. I called him and asked if he would just ask her to take the picture down so people wouldn’t see it and it would get back to our daughter. He ignored me, said No, and said he was on her side. I hung up the phone and went home heartbroken for our daughter and our families. He followed me home and told me many things I said I didn’t want to hear. But he also said that he loved me and that he only stayed with other women because I was not a companion to him, I always left him alone. He begged me, saying he wanted his family back. I accepted, but inside I knew I just wanted to be alone with my Husband. I cried a lot because he told me about everything he had done for nearly two years (getting involved with her the moment he had left the house seven months prior). So we agreed to talk more during the week, but he also kept in touch with OW.
Tell us HOW it happened, Kayla? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Kayla, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
We spent a week talking and on Saturday my EH returned home. He moved all of his things downstairs and the first thing he did was to show me the picture of them was down (glory to God). Today he is happily at home and enjoys being with us. He said he wants to get married in the church (because we were married at a justice of the peace) and has spoken to his pastor. He demanded that I leave the company where I worked and I immediately left without challenging him.
We are starting over. He enrolled me in the gym where he works out and we now enjoy working out together. We went to the circus this week and we are making a lot of plans to do things together, the two of us or as a family. My Lord is beautiful and He, no doubt, performed a miracle on me. A new woman was born again...a woman who smiles, who talks, and who enjoys being with her EH.
My EH doesn't want to talk about the Bible or being my spiritual leader yet. But as I learned at RMI, we must be chaste and respectful so that our husbands, even if disobedient to the Word, are won without a word. I don't know if he's in contact with OW, but I don't worry. It is in the hands of God who has control of all things. "The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes." Proverbs 21:1
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Kayla?
The Be Encouraged videos, the book (how God can and will restore her marriage) A Wise Woman helped so much to give me the training I lacked to be the kind of woman God created us all to be. The Daily Encourager, also reading the testimonies to understand what mistakes to avoid and better paths to take in our journey, and especially reading the Bible. Reading through it has become my favorite resource of all!
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Kayla?
Yes
Either way, Kayla, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Do not give up on yourself or your families. He gave me back the joy of living when I met Him for the first time and then later, once we were in love. God restored my marriage while I fell in love with my HH. He can do all things. It was never about us, nor for what we can do. It's all about Him and everything He can do. He's wonderful!!!
Find more encouragement and overcome the hurdle of #Letting Go by clicking on the #TAG linked to Restored Marriage Testimonies.
Want even MORE Restored Marriage Testimonies to study and learn the linked principles to encourage you?
Read MORE Using the Translate >> Portuguese RMTs and Spanish RMTs
There's a lot MORE to read in By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series Packet: 7 eBooks or by purchasing them in paperback By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series COMBO Packet: Paperback & eBooks.
