Chapter 2
The Revelation
“And the prayer of faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him"
—S515
My Beloved sweetly encouraged me to talk to Him about all my problems, including those of my health, although He is indeed not only with us but much better, He is in us, and it is always His pleasure that we communicate to Him what we think or feel. Well, in addition to my hormonal problem, I felt I had serious problems with my stomach and colon, I couldn't eat anything because my stomach swelled in the afternoons, I felt unwell, with heartburn, and heaviness, I had reflux, gastritis, constipation and I felt a lot of stomach pain most of the day... I told Him I felt my body was not working well. I also recognized sometimes my diet was not adequate but honestly, there were many things about diet that I liked too much to give up easily. However, I had it in my heart there was a connection between my diseased colon and my diseased skin, so I asked Him what I should do since I wanted total healing.
My skin problem continued to advance and gain ground. I became distressed every time I looked in the mirror. The faint reflection of my face through the dark screens of cars overwhelmed me. The concern increased when I saw the comedones and inflammation increased and spread to the chest and back, no matter where I was in the hormonal cycle any day I could see a new comedo appear.
With all my heart I wanted total and immediate healing!! I no longer wanted to follow my reasoning or what anyone else could suggest, I had already tried thousands of “home remedies” that did not give any positive results in terms of a definitive cure, and I was tired of all the so-called “experts” so I was determined to wait to hear His plan and do what He told me to do. When my heart was ready my Beloved spoke to me:
"God says, “Zion women are stuck-up, prancing around in their high heels, Making eyes at all the men in the street, swinging their hips,
Tossing their hair, gaudy in cheap jewelry.” The Master will fix it so those Zion women will all turn bald—Scabby, bald women. The Master will do it." I316 MSG
"The Lord says, “The women in Zion have become very proud. They walk around with their heads in the air, acting like they are better than other people. They flirt with their eyes and make tinkling sounds with their ankle bracelets as they take their quick little steps.” I316 ERV
"When the time comes, the Lord will simply take away the jewelry for their ankles, heads, noses, arms, ears, wrists, and fingers; these chains and gems, baubles and bangles, sashes and veils, perfume bottles and lucky charms, festive clothes and undergarments, purses and mirrors—everything that consumed their attention to get attention". I318 VOICE
"Instead of wearing seductive scents, these women are going to smell like rotting cabbages; Instead of modeling flowing gowns, they’ll be sporting rags; Instead of their stylish hairdos, scruffy heads; Instead of beauty marks, scabs and scars" I324 MSG
Initially, I thought what He was telling me had no relation to my situation, but my spirit confirmed He was speaking to me so I needed to pay my full attention to try to understand what He wanted to tell me. Interestingly, He began to heal me from the heart, just as He had already done with me during my marriage restoration journey. He began to reveal the hidden sins of my heart that had led me to this health condition. Although not all illnesses are a consequence or discipline for sin. However, I was able to notice He uses everything for good, in this case, the illness helped me to be cleansed from the heart of many sins that could affect me (and my family) much worse in the future, it has helped me form the character of our Lord while I suffered it.
When I asked Him more about what He was telling me, I found in a comment that “The women of Judah were obsessed with attire [dresses], luxuries, and “accessories.” They spent too much time improving their appearance and image... they were sexually seductive and promiscuous. They wanted to contemplate and attract what was sexually impure.” This made me reflect on the way I behaved in my youth and how the intentions of my heart from then came to light now. Nothing escapes God! I was the type of young woman who spent hours getting ready, improving her appearance, trying to be perfect to attract the attention of boys, and of course because deep in my heart I longed for the fairy tale-type love story where the young prince falls in love with the “most beautiful” lady, yes, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL (the lie of fairy tales), now I can see, the desire to be THE MOST beautiful (or the most perfect) was rooted in pride.
There was one word that stood out above the rest in my eyes: scar, what does it mean? “It is a permanent patch of skin that grows over a wound. It forms when the body heals after a cut, scrape, burn, or sore. Scars can also result from surgery where the skin is cut, infections such as chickenpox, or skin conditions such as acne.” Wow, that word and its definition confirmed it!!
Reading all this was like seeing myself in the mirror, it came to my mind how I behaved before, wanting to get the attention of boys because I thought would show I was beautiful, I was so vain, proud, arrogant, and haughty, believing and desiring in my heart to be better than many of my classmates. So I felt such a conviction of sin, these words moved my heart deeply, I felt identified and in a certain way I felt like... “naked” in front of Him like there was nothing to hide, I was there so vulnerable to being revealed most intimate of my heart, but I did not feel uncomfortable, judged, or singled out, on the contrary, what I felt was His love, a love that was covering my sin, a love that was showing me my mistake so I could move forward and receive the best of Him to me. I felt like a weight or rather a mask was lifted from me and my load became lighter. I repented, I asked my Beloved for forgiveness for my pride, and I asked Him to help me change because I wanted to be like He wanted me to be, humble and beautiful at heart, not to be the best, but to consider other women as better myself.
I understood the root cause of my acne was pride, it was an external manifestation of the disease of my arrogant and proud heart. Now that I knew the root of the problem I was able to ask Him for specific help to solve it, I asked Him how I could be free from pride to heal myself and He began by telling me:
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" 1J19
This is the wonderful love of the Lord, His mercy is immense!!
~Anastasia from Colombia in the Dominican Republic
Spanish LMF 🇪🇸
Anastasia, thank you for sharing. This chapter has enlightened me a great deal. Verses I have read before have new meaning.
PTL my dear! thank you for comment!
Wow! I am just so impressed by your journey. It is not easy to really understand our flaws and what they do in our lives! I especially relate to you when you talk about prince charming and attracting the boys’ attention. I agree with you about the dangers of exposing ourselves and children to this trend of being so caught up in our appearance that we feel our value depends on that. Praise Him for this revelation to you and to us! We need to work in our hearts first to be completely heal with His love and truth, that will never change!
This novel will help a lot of women, thank you for being so honest and real.
Trusting in my Beloved, yes, it will help many ladies, I pray that the tendency to be a bait for sin for man is eliminated especially from His church, because it pains me to say it but acting like this made me call His follower 🤦🏻♀️, Pharisee!
Thank you, Anastasia, for sharing this and the eye-opening verses you shared. Sometimes we do not realize how the state of our hearts can affect our outward appearance or health. I know bitterness and unforgiveness can sometimes contribute to diseases like cancer, but what you shared really opened my eyes to how pride and extreme focus on our outward appearance for the wrong reasons can also be a cause of health issues.
I agree with you my dear, His truth opened my eyes at that moment too.
I hadn’t read this before but that situation you had is so similar to what I experienced , but now I see it differently and I also understand now how he healed me.
I am reading this for the first time. I’m amazed how, like you first stated in chapter 1, something can seem so small and insignificant, like the outward appearance can really be a deeper condition of the heart. I myself struggle with my weight. My Beloved told me it will not change until I learn to love myself just the way I am like He loves me just the way I am. With this chapter He also shows me that if I was thinner, like 1-2 years ago when I had lost alot of weight, I would focus on my body to attract attention that would be false confirmation for me that I am good. Now, I do not want the attention of other men or FH. I only want people to see my heart. I don’t even want people to “like me for me”. I want people to be drawn to Him. I do not matter. Only He matters now.
Thanks for sharing dear! In this process, I also learned that the most important beauty is that of the heart, the exterior can be deceptive, but a happy and loving heart is much more attractive than a thin and toned body. Physical beauty is useless when the heart is bad.