Seesaw of Emotions

โ™• Today's Promise: โ€œInstead of their shame, my people will receive a double portion; instead of dishonor, he will rejoice in his inheritance; and thus in his land he will receive a double inheritance, and his joy will be eternal." Isaiah 61:7

~ Rut Ester in Puerto Rico

โ˜Š PR Podcast Rut-Ester

Dear brides, my Beloved Heavenly Husband (HH) did wonderful things in the past 4 weeks. I'm still amazed at how He answers my requests.

A month ago, I opened up with my Beloved and explained that I no longer wanted to feel sad about my earthly husband (EH). It was like a seesaw of emotions. I asked Him to tell me what to do. He took me on a break from my ministry job for 4 weeks. It was weeks of testing and a lot of mental struggles for me. It was part of my journey, to break up that old person and fully trust Him.

In the early days of my break, it was the first time earthly husband and I had an argument in a year. As chapter 8 of Living the Abundant Life says, I was being set-up.

The reality is that I was upset and he felt pressured by me and he didn't like it, which I understand. It was like going back to our old arguments. ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ So much so, that he used words that didn't even make sense in the situation, but that he had said before. It was horrible. I had not argued for many months, taking everything to my Beloved. I don't even remember my last discussion. That filled me with great sadness. I made several comments that didn't help at all so I decided to shut my mouth. Words weren't going to solve this, and I had to win without a word. I was able to get away from the situation and it gave us time to relax. Earthly husband (EH) started texting and my Beloved led me to agree with my adversary and apologize for everything.

Then my Beloved blessed me with a double portion for my sins! EH is planning to invest in houses and I am not included in those plans, although he asks me about the properties and I was the one who found the house he wants to buy. It has been very hard to help him in this process knowing that he has no interest in including me. I said nothing and took everything to my Beloved. I explained to Heavenly Husband how I felt and then I let it go. Today, after the discussion and while I was apologizing by text message, EH began to question about the money that we have together. My Beloved led me to tell him that I just want to live in peace and he can do what he wants with money. That could only be done by my Beloved because before I was a very money-hungry person and I controlled everything.

I tell you that a year ago, I demanded to EH that I was entitled of half of his business. It was a terrible recommendation that someone gave me and in my stupidity I said it. I learned at RMI to let go and not demand, giving a blessing. I only speak with my Beloved and He takes care of it. Well today, more than a year later, EH responded by questioning what I had claimed from the business. I told him that it has been more than a year and that I am not interested in his business. I said that I am not worried about what he wants to do with the money and that he take it all if he wants to. Girlfriends, something happened at that moment because after a few minutes earthly husband tells me that he wants to use part of the money together to invest in the house and wants to include me in the business.

I was more than amazed. In an instant my Beloved changed a hard and angry heart. I am amazed at how my Beloved blessed me with a double portion for my sins. I had been asking my Beloved for a long time to help me completely let go of my EH. This discussion and the whole situation led me to feel in my heart that my Beloved is the only thing I long for. I never want to live in arguments, shouting or anything like that again. Those moments where I did not feel His peace were horrible and I finally internalized that with my Beloved I have everything, and I do not want anything or anyone to separate me from Him and His peace. I have been living as His bride for almost a year and I am happy that way. I don't need EH, just my beloved Heavenly Husband. Glory to God I already got it! He knows my heart and knows that this difficult moment was necessary to draw me even closer to Him.

Beautiful Beloved, THANK YOU. There is no other words, just thank you for loving me, taking care of me and teaching me. You are my Everything. I love living with you. I do not need anything else.

Dear brides, this journey is very hard but He promises life in abundance. There are times when He puts us in difficult situations to grow. I encourage you to seek Him in everything. Allow him to direct and guide you. And when you make a mistake, run to Him. It's the best thing that ever happened to me and I hope you feel it too. He makes everything good.

โ€œInstead of their shame, my people will receive a double portion; instead of dishonor, he will rejoice in his inheritance; and thus in his land he will receive a double inheritance, and his joy will be eternal." Isaiah 61:7

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