Sent STRAIGHT from GOD
Jenny, how did your restoration actually begin?
My husband left home unexpectedly, breaking my heart by telling me it was over. I was desperately searching the Internet for books or anything to help me understand what was happening and to give me hope that God would bring my husband home. I found Restore Ministries and read your resources for three months, being encouraged before I ordered my own material so I could have books in my hand to pour over.
I received Restore's materials on our anniversary and it turned out that my husband came over that day. He was dropped off and asked me if I wanted to get something to eat. I had read the first chapter of How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and it helped me through the dinner. That was the first bit of hope I had since he left April 1, ten months of not seeing or hearing from him! God worked from then on, changing me even more and helping me to be kind and truly forgive. It was a miracle in my heart even though no one could see it.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Jenny, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
I learned about biblical submission and about trusting God no matter what the situation looks like. I learned to be thankful for very small things, knowing God is faithful to provide what we need when we need it. I learned that ALL things do work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.
I learned that God won't give me more than I can bear and yet it may be more than I thought I could take. I think I learned to love God above all else. I pray God will continue to give me as many trials as I need to keep me humble and depending on Him—I mean that. Doing it our own way is not peaceful or joyful and He knows it!
How did God change your situation Jenny as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
Doing everything differently. We are taught and told to do things entirely different than His Word says and what we feel like doing, what comes naturally. This is a spiritual journey, not just towards restoration but towards much more. Finding our HH and becoming His bride. No other ministry or church speaks about this and it's why so many woman, like me, clung to and smothers their EH. Making demands rather than finding the Love that we're really looking for.
He helped me repent of my selfishness in our marriage and in general as a selfish person. He helped me to see myself as I was and was there with His mercy for my broken heartedness. I became alive in my trusting Him as never before, even though I had always been excited that He had saved me—not knowing there was so much more I was missing. Being His bride.
It was entirely different to have Him sustaining me like that, as His bride. I was learning so much because His love surrounded me. Interesting too, I did not diet or exercise, but lost a lot of weight and felt better than I had in a long time. This was just an added blessing from my HH. I fasted for the first time and discovered a deeper kind of praying than I had known, actually talking and listening just like having a conversation with Him sitting right next to me.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Jenny?
OW and hearing how happy they were. Not hearing from my EH for months and not trying to, which at first was hard. It all changed though when I found my true love. My HH became all I needed or wanted, and as soon as I really lived this way, with no hint of obsession or focusing on my EH, that's when he showed up at my door.
One day after I began hearing from him again we went to lunch and he wound up asking me for a divorce! I did not know how to respond. I ignored my shock but found myself gently disagreeing for a full half hour but then God brought to my mind to agree with him! So I did. And the moment I did, divorce NEVER came up again! What a test! My husband continued to run from God for another month or so, but then God, in His perfect timing, saved my husband.
After he was saved he came home—we had been apart exactly one year! What a year!
Jenny, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
It had to have been my focus changing from my EH and not only God the Father, but His Son, who I realized was my HH. Once He became all I needed and wanted, my heart was healed and whole again. With gaping and bleeding hearts, we are not attractive to our husbands, because we are needy and demanding. Once this took place He knew I was ready to be restored. This is what I tell all the women I encourage. Women who run to me instead of to Him can't be restored because if their husband came back, they would begin focusing on and driving him away again.
Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Jenny?
The resources that I would recommend would include:
How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage—helped me so much to learn to control my mouth!
The Wise Woman workbook—so much help and hope!
The "Be Encouraged!" tapes—SENT STRAIGHT FROM GOD AND JUST WHAT I NEEDED!!! I did wait to listen until doing the entire workbook, too. I think God blessed me for my obedience.
The workbook and Be Encouraged were the most helpful resources I found.
Tell us HOW it happened Jenny? Did your husband just walk in the front door?
Praise the Lord, my Love has done it! He did the impossible; what everyone said would never happen. I was married for seven years when my husband left. I found out he was involved with another woman, drinking excessively, and they were heavily using drugs. We had attended church together the last few years and he had professed to being saved, which he now says was just an emotional experience.
We do not have children and then the OW became pregnant. However, she had a miscarriage just before my husband left her to come back to me. He said being unfaithful and with another woman was more than he could handle. He planned to leave me and build a family with her prior to this. God used the entire situation to completely break me. I lost all interest in everything, but clung to HIM who held me closely.
He gave me a Love song I sang continuously and with His love came the hope I needed when my life was so dark and painful; so much pain that I could not see. Yet my Love showed me compassion and bestowed mercy on my husband too by helping me love him when he was entirely unlovable. Every change was not me doing it. I can't even believe how His love changed me! I began giving love to others rather than needing love from others.
Jenny, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
No. I had been so selfish and was not the wife that God wanted me to be, but I didn't know that until I read your resources and He began to gently reveal who I was. I had been through disappointment before, many times, but nothing had ever gotten to me like this painful trial. It was God's timing for me to be His Son's bride. He knew I needed to experience His love, after being broken, in order to change more into the likeness of my first Love.
As I said, my husband did not contact me for the first nine months, because I know that God needed to change me and His faithfulness is what help me not give up. He used Restore Ministries to encourage me. Thank you all. I could not have made it without you. I read and read and read and listened to video after video. I was so dependent on Him and His truths, and although I had a lot of grief when I started, I knew He was sustaining me and that was incredible. He brought me from the bottom and lifted me to the mountain tops!
Then, when my HH became all I wanted and needed, God started to give me opportunities to spend time with my husband after so many months apart. Then, extreme testing followed because he told everyone he would never get back with me because we were miserable together. He kept telling me how far apart we had grown and that I could not see it.
However, I just agreed, although it hurt, then I'd take it to my HH and He'd remind me He was all I needed. My husband also shared things I did not want to know about the OW and that's when I began praying for her, but at first, it was killing me to hear the hold she had on him. But I knew that as I was, I was no better than she was and apart from Him, I would have nothing to offer anyone. God knows this is true.
So, it happened around Christmas, when my husband called crying and I could tell he was in a terrible state. He couldn't understand how I could ever forgive him or how he could have done this to me. He came over that night and slept, but then left the next morning, which surprisingly I was all right with and even was happy about because I had time with my HH. Then he called New Year's Eve (he was alone—PTL!), and we made plans to meet the next day when he asked if he could come home.
Since his returned, we have worked on our marriage, but I struggle now more than when he was gone. I see that clearly it's because of the lack of time and focus I can give to my HH. Yet, I am so thankful for all of it. And I give God glory every chance I can, to share what happened to me with every woman I meet. I explain I overcame huge obstacles and will continue to overcome them, most of which are me and what we women are told to say and act.
Since coming here and I am still learning to this day how to respect my husband (thereby obeying God and His Word), which I had never done before because no one ever taught me or corrected me before this trial. Now when I see that behavior in other women I try to correct them gently and lovingly, which always gives me an opportunity to share Hope At Last and your resources with them. Boasting about my weaknesses is what helps so many women find their way to Him and His love!
I hurt my husband so much, which I never realized until he returned home. As women it's all about us. I know now that he is ordained by God to be given my respect—no question. I want to grow in that way too now that I have my Love by my side. My husband does not drink anymore, and he takes us to church. He even says he wants me to be happy and he tries to encourage me to be closer to the Lord. He'd stopped seeing the OW long before he came home (it was God's mercy on me). So, yes, husbands will also change if we give them room while we focus on our relationship with Him.
My husband is growing and I cannot believe what has happened after our first trials right after he came home. God is so good. My HH is so wonderful. Let me say I am not sorry any of this happened and I expect God to get every drop of glory. Praise God for things just as they are, trusting our Father to do the work as we humbly obey!
Do you have favorite Bible verses Jenny that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?
John 16:33‚
“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world”
Isaiah 45:2 KJ2V
“I will go before you, and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of bronze, and cut asunder the bars of iron: And I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that I, the LORD, who call you by your name, am the God of Israel.”
Luke 2:19
“But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.”
Matthew 5:18—
“For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished.”
Psalm 90:12 NIV—
“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Jenny?
Yes. I try to help at least one new woman every day. I ask Him to show me who she is and that's when I am able to share your website.
Either way Jenny, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
No matter what has been thrown at you, it's intended to break you so you'll find your HH and become His bride, washed, healed and whole. Whether it's drugs, alcohol, an OW or ever if the OW is pregnant, it's all for the purpose of finding Him. And if you're not yet restored it's only because He needs more time to get you ready, but once you are, it will happen quickly so that's why you mustn't waste a single minute. Spend all your time reading and listening to the resources here because it's what He's telling you. Learn to follow His lead, hear His voice above every other. And once you're restored, or better still before you're restored, ask Him to show you other women to help. Then boast about your weaknesses and teach her how to depend on and find Him for herself. Then go find another.
This is a lifelong journey and if you must pray God will continue to give you as many trials as I needed to have to keep me humble and depending on Him—I mean that as I said before.
IS YOUR Marriage RESTORED? Are you not sure?
