♕ Today's Promise: “‘Do not be afraid of them, For I am with you to deliver you,’ declares the LORD.” Jeremiah 1:8
Dear Brides, have you ever felt like you are always playing catch up or that everything is always just out of reach? I can't tell you how many times I have felt like that. Well, as I was reading this Chapter 6 "They Don't Have It", I had that all profound awe-ha moment! I realized I felt like this because I was trying to do or come up with the solution out of my own strength and knowledge OR I was looking to and expecting my husband to show up and do what he used to do when we were together...majority of the time leaving me devastated, hurt, angry or even rejected because I was looking to my husband, others or myself to give me what only my Love could give me. The people of this earth cannot provide what we need. Our only Source is our Beloved.
As of lately, things have seemed to come up against me more than ever. As I went through this Chapter 6 "They Don't Have It", I see how I have tried to take on and come up with the solution in my own power. I have looked or thought about how my husband should fix it or take care of what I need but he can't! He doesn't have it in him at this point. Only my Beloved can give me what I need and with the perfect solution to where I am not stressing about it or trying to make it happen in my own strength. I need to run to Him for everything. I need to wait on Him. I need to stop trying to make things happen. He has a solution. He has the way, I just need to grab His hand and let Him lead me.
These last few weeks have been extremely difficult for me and it is all my fault for I got discouraged and simply stopped spending time with my Love.
I have watched things change. I started to have car issues, which I never had before. I was hit with an increase in rent for where we are staying. Our bank accounts, which the one my husband's check goes into, who makes a lot more money than I do, is constantly in overdraft every pay period for months now...which boggles my mind because this used to be the biggest issue with him when we were together, he hated have overdrafts and no money when it occurred a few times. Now, it is happening constantly and yet, it continues and he continues to live this way. So we (my children and I, and even my husband when he is depleted he uses this as well) are living on my check which is significantly lower. It seems new "goliaths" have been creating each day.
HOWEVER, this week my bosses after just working there for a year this week gave me a 10% raise, starting my next paycheck. Hallelujah! All praises to my Love, for they are already paying me a lot of money for the part-time work that I do, more than I made when I worked full time!
After reading this chapter, I see how my eyes have been searching all around me on how I can fix these things. What solution I can come up with? Reading this chapter has caused me to realize how everything I have been doing has lead to me looking for earthly people and resources and not my Ultimate Source. For He is all I want and need. Total surrender and trust in my Love. I need to look to Him only.
After reading this and reflecting on the different trials that have come against me lately, I have realized by His grace how I have gone into survival mode as I often have done since I was younger and tried to frantically try to figure out how I can fix my living situation, pay off these high debts, but not give up being home with my children when they are off of school.
I need to run to Him alone! I need to present all of my concerns, burdens, fears and yokes before Him. He already has the solutions and resources available for me in His hands. I just need to go to Him, trust Him and allow Him to provide and take care of me, His bride.
I have looked to my husband to come up with the solution and answer to only be left with more things to worry about, for he does not have "it" at this time. What I need will not be found in my earthly husband at this time.
Let's pray together now as we give this burden over to our Love: My Love I need you to change me!!! I have struggled with this and I keep failing. I want to experience this life that these other sisters are talking about. I want the Abundant Life. I want to know You as my Husband and Lover. I need a new life. I feel so depleted, torn down, and don't have much expectation, anticipation or excitement lately. I know it is because I am looking at what is in front of me and not at You. I am so tired of reading prophetic words that say You are going to do something, it's coming! Everything is in the future, which yes it is, but it's like it's close and then far away again, I'm always chasing. Which I know that if I am chasing it's not of You, for what is of You, You will bring it to me.
So I say all that to say my Love, I don't want to cry over anything in my marriage anymore! I don't want to cry over my husband. I don't want to cry over the age of this girl and who she is. I don't want to cry over what I have lost as I have gained so much on this journey with You already. I don't want to cry from the hurt. I don't want to cry over these "goliaths" that are coming lately because I praise You for this means blessings are coming.
I want to walk in victory. I want to walk in freedom. I want to walk in your radiance and have it showing on my face for all to see. I want my face to glow like when one is in love, with You. I want my face, body and hair to be the "wife of his youth," I want to look younger. I want You to be all over me so that there is no denying I have a new Love and others will want You.
I bring all of these desires of my heart before You, for You are the lover of my heart, mind and soul. You see all that I am up against these last few weeks. I don't have any solutions for them, I bring them to You to ask that You provide the solutions and miracles. I have never experienced a breakthrough in my finances, I have heard of others having their debt canceled. My Love You know I have a lot of debt, I ask, will You grant me the grace and privilege to have ALL, yes ALL of my debts canceled? These debts are my fault and irresponsibility. I pray ask for them to be canceled so I can have the resources to bless others. I ask, pray and trust You. Thy will be done. I promise to testify to everyone what You have done. I love You. Amen.
Dear Brides, during this journey we find ourselves hurt, depressed, rejected, frustrated and/or angry often when we are looking to our husbands to show us the acknowledgment that they used to when we were together. Instead, we are left with nothing or any regard from the men we said our vows to. Why? because during this journey they cannot give us what they do not have. In order to get what we need, we need to run to my Love from above and nowhere else. When we run to Him, we find all that we need and so much more! When we find Him and rely on Him alone, we won't be short of anything. Run to the only resource that can give you everything that you need....your Heavenly Husband!
In this book Finding the Abundant Life, you will be introduced to a new Love that will change your life forever. You will never be the same. Come and find out all about this life-changing Lover.
"Instead of your shame you will have a double portion, and instead of humiliation they will shout for joy over their portion. Therefore they will possess a double portion in their land, everlasting joy will be theirs. For I, the LORD, love justice…and I will faithfully give them their recompense." Isaiah 61:7–8
"Abram said to the king of Sodom, ‘I have sworn to the LORD God Most High, possessor of heaven and earth, that I will not take a thread or a sandal thong or anything that is yours, for fear you would say, ‘I have made Abram rich’” Genesis 14:22–23
My Source is from my Heavenly Husband. When I look to Him, everything I need will be granted and not sparingly. He will give me more for my trouble. He will give me double for what has been stolen. He is all I need, want and live for. I don't want anything from anyone, I want it all to come from my Love. I don't want anyone trying to say that they were the reason why I have increased.
~ Olivia in California
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