Someone Kept Holding Me Back

Growing up I had suffered several traumas and had abandonment issues so when I met my EH (earthly husband) my whole world began to revolve around him and he filled a void that I had growing up. As the years went by and we started having issues, I felt I was being tipped into depression, and to make matters worse I suffered a tragic miscarriage (after several years of trying) which made me completely want to give up in life. Several times I have contemplated suicide, there were times I have overdosed on medication and my EH had found me semi-conscious at home (all this while my prayer was for God to take my life and end my suffering because at the point I felt completely empty).

Then the unthinkable happened when my EH (earthly husband) left, (which now I understand my Heavenly Husband needed to do because I have placed my EH above Him). In the first couple of months all I thought of was giving up but never could think of actually doing anything because something/someone kept holding me back! This affected my family so much, everyone around didn’t know what to do and felt I needed professional help and that is when I began to SG (seek God) and then something in me changed. At first it was a prayer group I joined (but still I would occasionally have these suicidal thought only!). Then my major turn around came when I cried out to the Lord for help and I found this ministry and my life has never been the same. PTL!!

Those thoughts are completely gone, I don’t feel the emptiness that used to plague me in the past. The HH (Heavenly Husband) has indeed filled the void that no one could. I actually enjoy and look forward to my alone times with Him when In the past I couldn’t stand being alone at any point. He's indeed all we need! Just is it says in 1 John 1:9 [Amplified bible] “If we (freely) admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness (our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose)”.

Dear Bride, whatever struggles you might be facing, remember God is with you, He will never leave or forsake you if you can only learn to lean on Him and not on anyone else. He’s all you need. Whatever He has planned concerning you will come to pass, NEVER give up. Whatever storm you are going through He’s able to calm it and make you smile at the end.

“God is not man that he should lie, neither is he son of man that he should repent, has he said and shall he not do it? Or has he spoken, and shall he not make it good?" Numbers 23:19

”So shall my Word be that goes forth out of my mouth, it shall not return to me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing where to I sent it” Isaiah 55:11

“Then said the Lord unto me, That hast well seen, for I will hasten my word to perform it." Jeremiah 1:12

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