This past week two lessons really spoke to my heart; who I used to be and how my Heavenly Husband changed me through His love.
The first lesson was from the Restore Your Relationships course: "It's All My Fault". The part that really touched me from this lesson is "tough love". I used to believe that this is how you must treat your perpetrators, set ultimatums and if they do not change, you throw them out of your life or house, or simply treat them the way they "deserve" to be treated. How deceived I was... To prevent consequences, our perpetrator may change temporarily, only to fall back into sin, maybe even worse than before, OR they may rebel against you and choose to rather run away from your contentiousness which is made worse by applying "tough love".
But since my Husband stepped in and changed my heart, I've learned that "LOVE" is a much more powerful way to draw people, not only to you, but more importantly to their Heavenly Father/Best Friend/Heavenly Husband and bring about permanent changes through His love. I've seen in my own life how treating my perpetrators with "LOVE" softened even the hardest hearts and breaks down hate-walls.
"Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, and it is not proud. It does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres." 1C134.
The second lesson was “That Amazing Grace” from Living the Abundant Life. How many of us believed that we must "let it out", "blow off steam" or "get it out of your system" before we explode? I did, before my Heavenly Husband drew my attention and changed my heart. How many times did you feel awful, guilty, ashamed and embarrassed after you reacted badly? I did plenty of times, looking back I cannot believe I was able to react so badly, and on top of all the negative feelings, you also have to deal with the other person/persons who got hurt in the process and who's views of you might change after your "letting it out" session.
If we do not react, we will not explode, we must take all that negative feelings to our Husband, the Lord. We must get alone with Him and pour our hearts out to Him and remain in His presence until He comforts us and take all the negative feelings away. Please also read "Tell it to Your Husband." Giving all those negative feelings to your Husband, will not only take away the need to react badly, but it will also leave you with peace, no negative feelings from yourself or others, and you will be able to walk away with that AMAZING GRACE.
Are you looking for love?
Yes! There's Everlasting Love at Last!
Thank you for sharing Adina, I think something you mentioned that is really important, is that instead of bottling up the feelings inside of us, we need to take it to our Heavenly Husband. A lot of the time I have found that, when I blow off steam to someone else, I feel angry and hurt even more, but when I sit with Him, I feel better afterward. Oh, and when I talk to others about it, it sort of gets stuck in my head and relives it, but when I go to Him, it has happened so often that I totally forgot what it was all about a few days later. I am able to recall something that happened that hurt me, but I cannot tell you what it was. It is like I only take away the lesson I needed to learn at that time, but not the associated hurt. Hahaha, I know I sound crazy, but with Him, rigth?
You are right Yvonne, talking to others makes you relive whatever happened and stirs up all the negative emotions again every time you talk about it. And it doesn’t make you feel better, I always used to feel worse afterwards, especially because of my lack of discretion at that time. Exploding and reacting badly also makes you feel so bad afterwards, it’s just not worth it. Since I learned to take it to my Husband, I’ve never felt like I’m bottling up anything inside, as a matter of fact I feel light and dragged down by negative emotions.
So true Adina l have also heard about setting boundaries but this just causes you to be more contentiousness instead of letting it go and giving it and the other person to your HH. The fruits of the spirit is love, patience, kindness understanding, long-suffering. I find that because He is understanding, kind and patient towards me l can be this way towards others even tho l dont deserve it.
I have found myself many a times in frustrating and unfair situations and there were times l was so hurt and frustrated crying before Him. What l can tell you is its amazing when l take it to Him He sorts it out whereas if l complain it just gets worse and l feel worse…
Its true when we take it to Him we just feel better, i dont know how He does it but HE sorts it out and brings healing to our hearts and its like it never happened. A lot of the time we complain to someone who can really do nothing much but why not take it all to Him who can actually DO something about it.
I love the reminder “A lot of the time we complain to someone who can really do nothing much but why not take it all to Him who can actually DO something about it.” It’s so true, only our HH can act in our situations, so why go to somebody else? But for me it was a journey to learn this very important principle, but now I know, it’s the only way!