Conviction in My Heart

~ Kristine in the Netherlands

☊ PRAISE from Kristine

Dear brides, as I cry I write to you to share with you how wonderful is our Lord. These are not tears of sadness but tears of gratitude, happiness and relief. Because finally after 3 years He has given me the conviction in my heart that everything that has happened in my life and in my marriage was necessary to come to the point of total surrender. Total surrender that His will can be done in my life. As a testimony to others.

Just like last year, I started this year with a fasting period. A seven day fast. Desiring to be assured that I will break the shame, guilt, and condemnation for all the wrongs I've done in my marriage and life. For the past year I knew in my mind that He had already forgiven me and that I am His bride. And I have nothing to be ashamed of. But my heart was not yet convinced Matthew 15:8.

In addition, I found that I still struggled with whether it is His will to restore my marriage. For a long time I maintained that it is not necessary for me. For my life with Him is complete. And I enjoy every day. But the uneasiness and doubt as to whether this was His will for my life kept coming into my mind more and more. The first day of the fast I had a lot of trouble surrendering. The second day after I told Him my questions and heart desires. He began to answer.

Oh brides, it's so wonderful how loving He is. With each answer I felt myself getting closer to Him. The tears of bitterness turned to tears of relief. And now they are tears of contentment. Satisfaction that I may know that He has all the bad situations and trials. But the fact that I destroyed my marriage with my own hands was also part of His plan. Anything to draw me closer to Him. And that is my greatest desire. To have a life close to Him. Without fear that He will ever leave me. Because He would never do that. He loves me. He loves you.

Last year, He already had me read the recommended book Prison to Praise. And it's wonderful how my Heavenly Husband has taught me again through a book by the same author to be grateful for every crisis and trial I have faced. To be thankful for my divorce, thankful for the season I am in now. But most of all thankful that He has cleared all doubt about whatever is happening in my life. He allows or takes care of the situation which are all for my good.

The fasting period is not over yet but it is already wonderfully wonderful to know that which is His will for me is life. It is well. Whether or not He will restore my marriage. His will is the best. He knows me best. Today I say YES to His will with full conviction. Yes to the MAN who chose me to be a bride. For the rest of my life. I will be grateful to Him for everything that happens in my life.

Dear sister brides, we often wonder and do not understand why we have to endure one bad situation after another. I've had that question too. And now I know there will come a time when you will have to surrender. And that's the best you can do. Our loving Father made us and knows better than anyone what we need. He has given us a wonderful gift, His Son, as our Heavenly Husband, but there is more. As long as we accept His Will for our lives. And then all the shame, pain, sadness, doubt and uncertainty will be gone. He is everything I want, everything I need, everything I want to live for. His will is better than mine or yours. Therefore, we can confidently surrender to His will for our lives. And grateful in every situation because He wants the best for us. Please surrender completely to Him and see what happens.

"Fear not, for thou shalt not be ashamed; be not ashamed, for thou shalt not be put to shame; yea, thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and remember no more the reproach of thy widowhood. For thy husband is thy Maker, Lord of hosts is his name; and thy redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, God of all the earth shall he be called. For as a woman forsaken and sorrowful the Lord hath called you, as a woman of youth after she was scorned, saith your God." Isaiah 54:4-6

- He is everything I want, everything I need, everything I want to live for.

"Rejoice in the Lord always! Again I will say, Rejoice! Thy kindness be known to all men. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your wishes be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

I am happy in my heart to know that He has the best intentions for me.

Follow #Kristine’s Praise
Kristine is a tithing partner. Learn more.