♕ Today's Promise: "And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away." 1 Corinthians 7:13
Today, I read a chapter called “Divorce Filed,” I submitted my journal to it as well. My praise report is, after I read that chapter, I knew I had to make a very, very important decision. One that could make my husband really upset and turn away from me. It was hard to bring myself to let him know what I was doing because we were talking daily. We were in a really good place.
I knew though I needed to let him know before I did it because if I didn’t the trust we have been building would have been lost again. See I am the one that filed. I had him leave. Too long to get into all the details but almost a year into our separation which was November 2019. Our date to finalize the divorce is in February 2020. God changed not only my heart which was hard as a rock but my whole entire being. I finally got myself into a place with God that I needed to be, then after the change fell right back, out chasing my husband who was now involved with another woman. Anyway he told me at one point after my change after he stopped seeing her and we started seeing each other he still wanted the divorce.
It’s been about a month since we have talked about it and I never planned on asking again. After I read that chapter it dawned on me that because I’m the one who filed I’m the one who needs to withdraw my motion and make it right with my Lord. So I messaged my husband and told him what I was doing and why and made it as sweet and heartfelt but not too overboard. I asked him if it made him mad please not to respond back until he cooled down. That was at 11:30am. He did not respond until almost 6pm but not to that message but acting like he never saw it which I know he did. We texted the rest of night until he went to bed like any other regular night.
This was so unexpected!!! Just not how I thought he was going to react.
After I messaged him telling him what I was going to do earlier that day I broke down in my car and God really showed up big for me. I really was not even breaking down scared of his reaction because I knew it didn’t matter that God was going to restore my marriage at some point. I broke down because I filed. I guess it really hit me of the scope of what I did by filing. I am going to have to work on forgiving myself for such a terrible sin against God, my husband, my kids and myself. He really loved on me and made my mind at peace for the rest of the day. God was so gentle with me. I love Him so much! The love and compassion God showed me today was like no other like you just can’t get that kind of comfort from any human being. I know God is going to restore our marriage. I have no doubt about it. It’s just all the in between that I don’t know what, how, when? But until God does decide to fully restore us I will be giving God my everything now and for the rest of my life. Trusting in Him for everything!
He used to amaze me sometimes but now He amazes me all the time. It’s amazing what you are able to see when your heart is no longer hardened and you're not in any more pain from your past. God did all that. I give all the glory to God!!!
"The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time." 1 Corinthians 7:4-5
"But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband. She must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:10-11
~ Binly in Louisiana