I Fell Into Self-pity

~ Anissa in Slovakia

☊ PRAISE Audio

Dear brides, at the beginning of my journey, I had to think for a long time about what to write praise for. Now, the more I get to know Him, I don't know what to write first. 🙂 Although my EH (earthly husband) has not divorced me, he still has a very hardened heart to the Lord, to many people and in many ways to me. In other words, the Lord still uses him to shape, test, and transform me. "Examine me, Lord, and try, and burn my heart and mind with fire." Psalm 26: 2

I recently had two conversations with my EH that ended in big attacks on me. In the evening I fell into self-pity, "Oh poor thing, why is this happening to me, how long will I be tested like this and this injustice is done to me and it still hurts, when will my EH change, etc .." I started talking to my HH (Heavenly Husband) about it and suddenly a cure came from this self-pity. The Lord led me very kindly, to reflect those conversations back - from end to beginning. In this way, "He told me this, I said this before, because he said this before, and I said this, and he reacted to this, and so on." ...

And do you know what I came up with? Both times I caused the bad situations. Although I wasn't contentious at the beginning of those conversations, but nice, non-aggressive, and I didn't argue (which I later fell into unfortunately because strong attacks came on me), it was my fault. The first time I started asking EH (earthly husband) about something he was uncomfortable with, I don't remember exactly, but I think it was a lot about the relationship between him and his parents. Just this very sensitive subject, as their relationships are not yet healed.

Oh girls, even though I had a quiet spirit and a non-aggressive tone, it was definitely wrong to delve into a subject that is sensitive to him. I realized that I should have been quiet or coming up with some other topic when I already needed to talk. When the Lord revealed this to me, all the pain of self-pity from the subsequent attacks on me had subsided, and I had to ask the Lord for forgiveness for useless words.

The second time was similar. When this revelation came that I had caused the situation myself, by reflecting back on how the conversation had begun. The pain of self-pity was gone. I wanted him to understand something and agree with me because it was very logical. Far from a subordinate and respectful wife. Even though those things were really logical, I should have just talked to my HH (Heavenly Husband) and sought recognition from Him and not from the EH. I realized so much that again, and as many times in the past, it wasn't about my EH, and how insensitive and bad it was, but about me and my need to talk about the wrong things.

And so, my Beloved, please give me and other brides who are still learning your principles and how to be quiet and respectful wives, the strength to live them. To have a quiet spirit, and when we fall into self-pity, heal our hearts. And when we need to speak, put words in our mouths. Words joyful, respectful and encouraging to our EH, so that your word will not be ashamed. Thanks for healing me so quickly from my self-pity. 🙂

AMEN

"That they may be prudent, chaste, caring for the house, benevolent, submissive to their husbands, that the word of God may not be ashamed." Titus 2:5

Follow #Anissa’s Praise
Anissa is a tithing partner. Learn more.