My cousin had been away for a two-night stay in another city, while I remained home at our apartment. We were looking forward to seeing each other again, but she texted that she’d be arriving late, so I could go to bed before she gets back. My cousin had been away for a two-night stay in another city, while I remained home at our apartment. We were looking forward to seeing each other again, but she texted that she’d be arriving late, so I could go to bed before she gets back.
I wanted to honor this statement because I know that sometimes my cousin is so tired that she’d rather not talk when she gets home. However, someone happened to text me that night if they could please call me because they were having a hard time. The conversation with this person lasted much longer than I had expected so while in conversation, my cousin returned home.
While laying in bed with my headphones in, I didn’t greet or welcome her back right away but spoke softly assuming she’d hear I was on the phone and understand. Sadly, she didn’t and spoke out, “I’m home.” I paused for a moment on the phone and said, “Hey!! How are you?” and explained that I was on the phone with this person who was having a hard time and that I was sorry. When I got off the phone shortly thereafter, I said, “Welcome back!” then I could tell by her response and mood shift that she was very upset. I told her how sorry I was.
The wonderful thing is that I’ve known and loved my cousin since we were just children, so I knew that she just needed some time. I told the Lord to forgive me for the mistake I’d made and said to the Lord that You control the heart and You alone can change the heart just like it says in Prov. 21:1. “The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes.”
The following morning, she hadn’t forgiven me because of how she acted towards me. She told me she didn’t want to eat breakfast and stayed away in the bathroom getting ready for work.
So then I cried out to the Lord inside and said, “What can I do? How can I turn this situation around?” Regardless of how she’s acting because I was raised so much differently. I could never think, feel or react the way that she did, but I have to live with her in an understanding way and…
“Agree with thine adversary quickly while thou art in the way with him.” Matt. 5:25
Then immediately the Lord brought Prov. 18:19 to my mind where it says, “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel.”
Then I knew this was going to be difficult, but that He would help me. I’d learned from my mother, and it’s also in the A Wise Woman about how to take the full burden or blame and ask forgiveness. So I took a deep breath, opened the door into the hallway and into the bathroom where she was and said, “I just have to come in here and tell you how sorry I am. When you came home last night, I foolishly kept talking on the phone and didn’t welcome you right away and I should have. That must have really hurt? Then later I even texted instead of talking to you, and that was horrible of me. I’d never want to hurt you. You are my sweet and beautiful Monica (holding her arms and looking into her eyes) and you mean so much to me. Please forgive me? I’m just a fool.” Wow. You know what? Her face immediately changed!
It’s humbling to do that, but regardless of what the circumstances are, we’re called to peace. “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.” Col. 3:15 “Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord.” Heb. 12:14 “So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” Rom. 14:19 I knew not to make any excuses or try to explain anything because it doesn’t matter. What mattered was her healing.
Maybe you have a PR similar to this about how the Lord humbled your heart and the results of following what HE tells us to do? I can honestly say that it’s truly amazing to see how a bad situation can be turned around in an instant!
“The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes.” Prov. 21:1
“Agree with thine adversary quickly while thou art in the way with him, lest at any time thine adversary deliver thee to the judge.” Matt. 5:25
“A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel.” Proverbs 18:19
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.” Colossians 3:15
“Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14
“So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” Romans 14:19
~Tara