♕ Today's Promise: "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge." Hosea 4:6
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~ Anissa in Slovakia
Dear Brides,
I would like to share with you how my Beloved lifted one heavy burden from me. I have already mentioned that my EH (earthly husband) still has no relationship with the Lord, and after our restoration, many of our family relationships have worsened. One of them was the relationship of my EH and his mom, my mother-in-law. When this started to happen, my EH started behaving very disrespectfully towards his mother, I hadn't been on my recovery journey long enough and I didn't have much knowledge yet. Hosea 4:6 "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge."
I was very sorry for my mother-in-law and tried to stand up for her. I explained to my EH how disrespectfully and unfairly he treats her and how she tries. I did it so stupidly on every family visit and you can probably imagine how it always turned out. The anger of my EH (earthly husband) turned on me many times and he did not accept what I tried to explain to him in a "good" way. Interestingly, the mother-in-law often after the visit, even though there were terrible quarrels and unreal situations, she said with a smile, what a great visit and when we will see each other again. I almost fainted. I didn't understand how she could say that.
I was exhausted after those visits, I felt anger, shame, anger at my EH. How he could behave like that, and even anger at myself, how I could have married such a person, and I should somehow respect, honor, and be subordinate. It was an incredibly heavy burden for me.
Everything was getting worse and I was leaving the family visits crying and before these visits I felt stressed and anxious about what would happen again. This resulted in disliking of our family reunions.
Fortunately, my Beloved has relieved me of this burden. As I went through Chapter 8 of the Living Lessons, this burden began to fall off of me. Through this lesson, the Lord has shown me that the injustice my EH (earthly husband) is doing to his mother is not my burden, but he and she must bear it, and I should not interfere.
As I took on many of the "negative emotions" from these quarrels in the form of anger, shame, regret, I understood how my mother-in-law, even after a terrible visit, could leave with a smile, what a great visit and my EH felt no remorse. Wow, girls, this was strong. I wanted to be fine with my mother-in-law, and I thought the right way was to try to understand her injustice and to stand up for her. Now it was a challenge, even at the cost of being angry with me, not to get involved in these disputes and not be on her side at all, which made me very disrespectful to my EH.
Proverbs 20:3 "It is to one's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel." And our job is to please the Lord, not the people.
I must admit that it was not easy, I failed several times and had to ask the Lord for strength. Now I always try to leave the room and not get involved when a dispute is about to start. Praise the Lord, even though our visits are still in terrible situations, I no longer bear the burden, I do not feel exhausted, tired, I do not cry and I do not feel any stress before these meetings, but I ask the Lord to always help me escape, to look for Him and praise Him. And even though the many things my EH does and speaks to my mother-in-law still are unfair to me, I don't take the pain out of it.
The Lord further showed me that she also bears this disrespectful behavior of her son for her feminist, rebellious behavior towards her husband, because she is a strong feminist and it is not my job to bear her burden. My Beloved, thank you for that freedom.
"It is to one's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel." Proverbs 20:3
"My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge." Hosea 4:6
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