This PR continues from last week Tuesday’s Encourager “Revealed When He Wanted it to Be”
I started thinking about the Finding the Abundant Life book that I had read through and journaled and how the writer revealed her struggles of what she went through after being restored. Now I know with certainty that we women who are restored DESPERATELY need our HH “Heavenly Husband”. It is not good enough to just walk away with a restored marriage because it’s after our marriage has been restored that we need Him the most. We need Him whether we are restored or not! When the foundations of our lives are shaken, we need Him to help us work through our feelings of being hurt, betrayed and every and any other feeling we are dealing with. I especially needed the love of my HH to be able to respect and submit to my earthly husband again after my discovery.
Isaiah 43:18-19(NIV) “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
My HH revealed to me through His word that though this had happened, it happened in the past, the not so long ago past but the past nevertheless. I realised that He did not want me to go round and round with all the negative thoughts I had of what had happened. Sitting and thinking about it made me feel that I wanted to question my EH “earthly husband” about it, which I learned could never come to any good. Instead, my HH wanted me to take it all to Him so that He could store away my tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8). So that He could whisper His truth in my ears.
Now a couple of weeks later after writing what has been written, all of the above does not hurt so much anymore. I do not dwell on thoughts of my EH with the OW “other woman” and how many times he betrayed me because my HH has removed so much of that hurt I felt to fill my heart with His love for me. He did it so quickly this time around! In fact, this time He restored even before He revealed!! How amazing is He !? 🙂 He has also given me the capacity to love my EH again because of His immense love for me.
Isaiah 62:2-4 (NIV) The nations will see your vindication, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord will bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord’s hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married.
I looked up Hephzibah and it means “my delight is in her” and Beulah means “married”. Sitting in my backyard with Him looking at the trees I thought about being a crown of splendour in my HH hands, I thought about being a royal diadem in His hands, about His delight being in me and I just felt so special and the urge to write about these experiences so that you dear Bride can know the truth. The truth is His Word that He has given us as His precious Brides. Not what we see and experience. Not the hurt, betrayal, and bitterness. Not the questioning we so often feel when we are hurt. Questioning the person who hurt us and questioning and berating ourselves for not seeing or being aware of what was happening. And let me tell you many times I felt just stupid but I would rather be a fool for my Love than to follow the way of this world which would bring me far more hurt and disillusionment.
I wonder so much why after going through a separation, divorce, and remarriage to my EH why he cheated on me again after again promising and saying vows before the Lord. I think that I struggled with this the most… I believe that what my HH was trying to show me was that I cannot bank on a “restored marriage”, I cannot bank on never being hurt or betrayed again. I can ONLY bank on my HH. He will never stop loving me. He will never betray me. His love is everlasting, it never changes. I never stop being a crown of splendor or a royal diadem (Isaiah 62:3) in His hands no matter what I do or don’t do. He will always be there for me.
Now I feel like I have so much hope for my future with Him by my side! I feel that if He allows me to go through a trial it is for my good and it always draws me closer to Him and gives me no choice but to lean entirely on Him. Traveling on this journey with Him at times is scary but looking back once again I am thankful to Him for revealing something so hurtful because it has refined me again. I don’t think He ever stops refining us and allowing us to go through the fire because it will always have one purpose and one purpose alone. To establish us as His bride and allow a far greater intimacy and this intimacy is what heals us especially our emotions and hurts as women.
“Better for Me Then, than Now”