♕ Today's Promise: "Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting." Psalm 126:5
Paulina, how did your restoration actually begin?
First of all, I want to thank you all for the opportunity that God has given me to be redeemed again by His love! I thank everyone in this ministry that welcomed me and taught me that I should only have God as my refuge and look for my answers from Him alone!
It all started 17 years ago, we married as a lot of young people do and we had high hopes for our perfect marriage. Since I was never an easy going person, I went into my marriage being full of myself, as I was aggressive, spoiled, arrogant, a complete Pharisee! I thought I was the ruler of everything and because of that, my attitude was pushing my husband away from me and into the sins of the flesh. I did just like Samson played with sin.
In the third year of my marriage, I got involved with a man, it was a very painful experience when my husband discovered what was going on but he decided to forgive me. As time passed my unhappiness only increased, I did what I wanted, I was not submissive. Even after being forgiven, I continued to flirt with 2 more guys, which ended up being the final straw. So was social media that you all explain is so dangerous.
On Facebook, a man sent me a reply and was pretty much asking me to be with him. My husband discovered the messages and our marriage ended. I was foolishly a bit glad it happened, we hardly spoke to each other anymore, our intimacy ended, understanding was gone, and I was just thinking how happy I was to be separated from "that man."
How did God change your situation, Paulina, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
Soon after reality hit. My husband left, packed everything telling me that we didn't have any more to give and that he didn't love me anymore. I didn't expect this. I could see in his eyes how angry he was at me. Within my arrogance, I thought he would never leave me and told myself that soon he'd return home. He did and trying to keep him, I stopped the pill and soon I became pregnant with our third child.
At first, I thought "now he'll be ready to come back home where he belongs" but all I saw and heard was more hurtful and the anger he had was more intense and he moved further away. In May, my life changed when I found the RMI site. I was desperate for restoration and I was looking for a solution day and night for my husband to return.
From the moment I started to take the course, my focus was no longer only on my husband and my quest to get him back. I spent the last few months of my pregnancy falling in love with my Beloved and soon He was my Heavenly Husband. His love was transforming me and right away my husband started to notice some small changes, that he acknowledged but couldn't believe were true.
I was learning how I was wrong when I destroyed my family like a fool. So my first step was to ask my husband for forgiveness. I wrote everything I needed to confess to him and said everything that was heavy on my heart. Then, I started to rebuild a relationship with my children.
I sought God, I became very thirsty for His Word and He consoled me while I was in great emotional pain. As my pregnancy progressed, my husband only moved farther away. God used it for good as it was just me and my HH alone.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Paulina, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
The main and most difficult principle to apply was to let go. Whenever I decided I’d let go, I ended up going back with my obsession to do SOMETHING to get him back, which ultimately delayed the restoration of my marriage. I wanted my will and ended up giving up after being worn out. Going around and around with this one principle I had trouble grasping.
Another principle that I found difficult was to maintain an intimacy with my husband, because he always made it very clear to me that I was not supposed to have hope because the only feeling he had for me was for this one thing. When I heard this from him it was as if someone was putting a knife in my chest. At those moments, I just continued asking the Lord to be with me so that I could be a beautiful and loving wife to my husband. In the end, God rewarded my obedience.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Paulina?
Every period of the journey was difficult. I felt pain every day and there were days when the pain was so intense that I couldn't get out of bed.
Things finally came to a conclusion when I found out that he was with an OW, my world collapsed, I couldn't believe he was with OW and I almost went crazy. During this period I was about 7 months pregnant, the news was so overwhelming that I left home and ended up at my aunt's house. That's where God spoke to me. He said He would be with me, that the restoration was happening and that He was the One fighting for me. Even though I trusted the promises from the Lord, I had many moments of doubts and questions. Yet His love, as always, came through!
Paulina, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point was when I understood that if I didn't get out of the way, let my husband go that God would not be able to do anything. Then he goes on accepting everything that was even proposed for divorce.
Tell us HOW it happened, Paulina? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Paulina, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
A month before the scheduled court date for our divorce hearing, God had placed it in my heart to do a Daniel's fast for 21 days. While at my prenatal appointment, that was on the day of the hearing, He confirmed it was Him calling me to fast when my doctor told me my blood pressure was way down and I was in the best condition I'd ever been in during any of my pregnancies! I knew this was God telling me He was guiding me and to trust Him.
Before I could get to the court for the hearing, I got a call from my husband that it had been rescheduled for 14 days later. Throughout this process, it was clear that my husband's anger towards me was in no way diminishing. He despised me and always reminded me that I was an adulteress (reminding me of how I'd been unfaithful in our marriage). This only made me intensify my trust in Him because only God could restore what I'd destroyed so thoroughly!
Before the rescheduled divorce hearing, our son was born and the huge transformation began. It was clear to see God was changing my husband, turning his heart. When I looked at him I could see he no longer hated me and felt much closer.
On the rescheduled court hearing, as we sat waiting outside, we talked for almost 3 hours waiting for our hearing to start. During the conversation he asked me if I had one more chance what would I do?? I knew God had orchestrated everything. Rather than divorce, God restored my marriage!
We left the courthouse together, and after he dropped me home, he arrived back the next morning and said that he wanted to talk to me. He asked me to find a sitter so the two of us could have dinner out. During our dinner, he said he was coming home, that it ended with OW weeks earlier, and that he was going to give us another chance. It wasn't how I dreamed it would be but it was the perfect way God planned it and that's why it was better than I'd ever dreamed.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Paulina?
Yes, in addition to the courses it was the praise reports that were fundamental pieces to keeping me encouraged. I recommend How God can and will restore your marriage and wise woman to build your life on.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Paulina?
Yes
Either way, Paulina, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Don't give up, don't get discouraged, don't stop believing in God's promises. Get involved with God, become intimate with your HH. Don't worry about tomorrow, but be focused on being in love with your HH. You must let Him fight for your marriage while you rest in Him. Your journey is very worthwhile even going through a lot of pain. If God did this miracle in my life as an adulteress just imagine all He will also do in your life. Remember, there is nothing impossible for God.
Immerse yourself in the Word of God and live His promises as it is in Isaiah 30:18. God will always do what is best for us. Please remember when you're weary that GOD restored my hopeless marriage, which I totally destroyed, was without hope and God made everything new, transforming me and our marriage. I know He will surely do the same for you and your marriage too.
These were some verses that helped me a lot in difficult times.
Proverbs 4:23 and 25
Psalm 126:5 and 6
Love God with all your heart and don't give up!!
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