♕ Today's Promise: “Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth." Matthew 5:5
Asia, how did your restoration actually begin?
After my son was born, our marriage turned cold. Being a mother was a big dream of mine so I started to live for my son and he became my first priority. As time went on, a child came with a new set of commitments, like not working as much, which meant my husband had to work more. It also came with a new set of appointments that didn’t include my husband. Very soon we were both complaining about each of us having of lack of attention, a lack of affection and a lack of companionship towards the other.
Everything came crashing down the day I saw a series of messages from the OW “other woman” on my husband’s cell phone and got so angry, it was the last straw for me. I kicked him out of our house on his birthday when I saw her message.
How did God change your situation, Asia, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
A week after I made the decision to kick him out, I began to feel empty. I was sure I had made the right decision and should be relieved, but it wasn't what I was feeling. I started searching the internet on how to overcome a breakup and eventually shifted the focus to marriage restoration. Through another restoration site, I found the RMI link and downloaded the RYM book. It was a punch in the gut reading about me. It seemed like I was reading my own story. I found I was that person, I was quarrelsome, I was selfish, and I was a self-righteous woman just as Erin confessed to be.
When I found out how unpleasant I had been to live with, what my husband endured for many years of our marriage, I felt so ashamed and began to understand the reasons that made him walk away from me. First, I asked God for forgiveness for not being the wife He wished I had been, a wise woman who builds her house, who is meant to be the crown of her husband. After feeling so much lighter after this confession to Him, I began to feel forgiven and loved by Him. Next, I asked my husband for forgiveness, now conscious of the behavior I should have exhibited as a gentle and quiet spirit. I continued to change the way I acted with my EH and with other people as well after each lesson in your free courses.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Asia, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
The first principle I put into practice was forgiveness, then letting go, which for me was a daunting task because I was always anxious and controlling. Then suddenly having to leave it all to Him and trust Him to do it, really required great effort on my part. I also incorporated submission whenever I had the opportunity, even though I was separated from my husband. Soon I was able to make the Lord my HH.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Asia?
The time I suffered the most was during the Christmas holidays when my husband took my son to travel with him leaving me alone. The second had to be when I learned so many unpleasant things from people close to my husband who told me what he was doing. At these times, I clung to the Lord even more, opened my heart to Him and His healing, and felt understood and loved by Him.
Asia, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
It took me a while to finally surrender my EH to the Lord and trust God to restore our marriage, but when that happened, I felt such a peace, a certainty that He would do His best for me, no matter what, because He was enough for me. I was finally happy, complete and fulfilled, and for me, all that mattered was Him.
I heard from my husband that this was when he noticed how quiet I was and that started to mess with him, causing him to want me back.
Tell us HOW it happened, Asia? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Asia, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
When I realized that being nasty had hurt my husband so much, I became nice to him, respecting him. Little by little he got closer, invited me out, sometimes just with him, sometimes with our son.
When we sat down to talk he would say he was very hurt by what I’d done to him, but keeping quiet and listening and nodding my head, he went onto say how he could hardly believe how much I had changed.
We were intimate a few times, but the very next day, he always pretended that nothing had happened. Thankfully I’d read enough testimonies to know this was common and that the remedy was to just be excited that I had my HH and didn’t need my EH. That was a huge shift and what helped gain momentum for restoration.
One day I came home from work and saw that someone had broken into my house. So my EH decided to stay over with me and my son because there was no way to secure the door. The next day he stayed over again and then decided to stay just a few days more. Each week he began staying a few days a week with us. At that point I started talking to God, asking if the end was near and I could feel the answer was yes.
The next week a cousin of mine was getting married and I asked my HH if I should invite my EH. So I invited him to come along and he accepted. When the wedding was over he took me to the altar, knelt down, took his wedding ring from his pocket, handed it to me and asked if I would forgive him and marry him again! I was shocked by how romantic it all was. I’d told my HH I didn’t need anything like what I told him early on in my restoration journey, but just by letting that go of that too, He did something far better than I could ever have imagined. Asking forgiveness is nothing I needed, but He made it happen.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Asia?
I recommend the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage to give hope and awareness of what you are living. I also recommend A Wise Woman to teach you how to behave as you get closer to restoration and especially afterward. I’m so thankful for your free courses and all the encouragement I am able to find everywhere on your sites.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Asia?
Yes
Either way, Asia, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Dear brides, my separation lasted a year and 4 months. That sounds like a lot to outsiders, but to me it was the perfect amount of time, because it was God's appointed time for me to be renewed, to be healed and especially to know my Lord as the dearest Husband ever imagined. I enjoyed every minute I was alone with my Heavenly Husband, and I confess I have even missed the time I got to be alone with Him now that I’m restored. So enjoy your journey!
God knows why you haven't been restored yet, He knows all the reasons, and there is no doubt He is preparing you for something much better than you can imagine just as He did for me. I would never dream of my own husband asking for forgiveness at the altar and knowing this was His gift to me! He is faithful girls, do not lose faith.
Want even MORE Restored Marriage Testimonies to study and learn the linked principles to encourage you?
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There's a lot MORE to read in By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series Packet: 7 eBooks or by purchasing them in paperback By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series COMBO Packet: Paperback & eBooks.
