RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “He’d Married the OW”

Stella, how did your restoration actually begin?

Living in a second marriage meant I was always a Pharisee. I basically lived in the church, but I was always pointing out the defects and shortcomings of my husband, not just privately but especially when I had an audience. I was contentious, always wanting everything my way; I was like everyone's "little holy spirit." I wanted to change things that I did not like in my husband. For this very reason, we separated several times, so you'd think I'd have learned, but that wasn't until our last and final separation when I could see he was determined never to return. He did try to come back a few times, but I made his life unbearable with my nagging and wanting to always "talk" each time, telling him just exactly how he needed to change. Then things began to change and affect me; I began to notice him moving away from me emotionally.

I began going crazy, looking for information to know what he was up to, only to discover he'd move to another state miles from me. So being the contentious woman I was, and after I joined a standers ministry, I went to find him and discovered he was living with another woman, a younger woman! In my desperation, I tried to send him several messages, warning him he'd better come back. Believe me, I did everything to make him come back, and the more I ran after him, the more he ran away from me.

How did God change your situation, Stella, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

Tired of fighting and crying, while watching the end of my marriage, I discovered a comment under a video on youtube, which God used to guide me to RMI, where my life changed forever!

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Stella, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

My life changed by going through the courses and pouring my heart out to my Beloved in my journals. Studying the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage as a course, was so life-changing; it's how I learned to know God, and it changed my way of being. Then moving on to finding my life as a bride, getting closer to my Heavenly Husband, I learned that spending time with Him would heal all my wounds and make me less vulnerable and no longer needy.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Stella?

It was most difficult when my husband was arrested and was incarcerated for several months. At first, I lost all hope of restoration, because he didn't want me visiting him; I’d heard the OW was coming to see him. But then the RMI ministers shared that this was a good thing, to rejoice, to take advantage of this time alone; this is what God would use to make the changes my EH needed. They were right.

Stella, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

On Friday, after I returned from a small group of women (I'd started the group, where we got together once a week to just share praise with each other, no complaining, no sharing details of our husbands or exes; we just took time to "enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise."), that morning I felt different—like something had happened or was about to happen.

Tell us HOW it happened, Stella. Did your husband just walk in the front door? Stella, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

After my praise group, I felt like I needed to head home, rather than go for coffee with everyone, and when I got off the bus, I saw someone standing at our gate. It was my husband, and he was waiting for me.

I had already given up hope, but I continued to praise, and then I came to the point of no longer caring about restoration. That's when He reminded me of all the many testimonies I read, and this feeling I had meant I was getting close. But I wasn't sure I wanted it. Then I remembered Erin saying it's not what we want that matters, but what God wants, this should be our desire. When I asked Him, He spoke to my heart that this was His plan and I was to embrace His will above my own. What was even more of a surprise than seeing my husband at our gate was how he'd changed. Unlike most of the testimonies, he was apologetic, remorseful, and said right away that he loved me.

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Stella?

Yes, all of your resources helped me a lot. How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage course and A Wise Woman course got me ready for my husband coming back so suddenly. I also worked through workers@home with my HH guiding me. I purchased and studied all of the By the Word of Their Testimonies ebooks, and I never missed reading the Daily Encourager that kept me yearning more and more for my HH.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Stella?

Yes

Either way, Stella, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Never give up on God, who is the One who will restore your marriage. And as hard as your journey may seem, as Erin says, God is the God of the impossible. My husband and I went through a divorce, and I found out he'd married the OW. But, the day he stood at my gate, he'd just gotten his divorce. The very day he stood at my gate, he waited inside, while I got on a dress for my courthouse wedding!

Dear bride, surrender your marriage and all the details (that you just don't need to know about) to God, then surrender your heart and everything you say and do to your HH.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).

“Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him and He will do it” (Psalm 37:5).