RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “Let Him be Who You Need in Your Life!!”

☊ RMT Audio

Josefa, how did your restoration actually begin?

Well, I always had problems with jealousy, and early this year there were so many changes happening in my job. Times when I suffered injustice and ended up going to work at night to avoid the conflicts happening during the day shift. Soon I just became bitter and moody. My life became a cycle of complaining about my boss and whining about how bad my life was. As I started to be alone all day, because I worked the night shift, I started thinking only about my husband, and I started to obsess over him, accusing him of not loving me anymore, of not paying attention to me enough, until the day he was at work, and I began pestering him with a series of annoying messages. Because he was busy dealing with me, he was given a warning at work. That night he packed up his things, told me he blocked me on his phone and walked out of the house, saying that because I complained so much that he didn't love me anymore and probably never did love me. The last thing he shouted before slamming the door was “Just leave me alone!!!”

How did God change your situation, Josefa, as you sought Him wholeheartedly? 

In the beginning, like all of the restored marriage testimonies I've read, I prayed all the time for restoration after he walked out. I soon discovered RMI when someone shared RMI and HopeAtLast.com on a Facebook post. It wasn’t even a response to what I posted, I just saw someone else ask and a friend of mine replied to her! The next day I gathered a group of women from my country to begin studying the RYM as we each started our own Restoration Journeys.

It wasn't long before I read a post in the Encourager that I began to look for my own personal restoration. I started wanting to love the Lord with all my heart. I started asking Him to allow me to find the peace that surpasses all understanding because I didn't want to live according to the circumstances as I always lived, and the way things were happening in my life. Little by little I stopped counting the days in the desert and I started to enjoy the moments at home alone with our beautiful Lord. Once He became my HH and I was really a bride, I switched from a Restoration Journey to an Abundant Life Journey!

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Josefa, did the Lord teach you during this trial? 

Reading and knowing the Word makes all the difference! When you have a problem every single person around you will give you stupid advice to feed your flesh. Instead, I applied everything I learned, and the first thing was taking everything to God first. Next was being faithful to tithe to my storehouse after I let go of my church. I began praising God even when everything seems to fall apart. Also never speaking ill of my husband to other people. Last was when I chose to obey and submit to my husband's authority even during the separation. 

God really tested me when I had to obey to the point of buying a car for my husband, in my name! We only had one car, which I kept when I moved out. And due to some restrictions, he couldn't put it in his name so he asked me for this favor. In my head, it seemed that everything was beginning to get worse because now he would have a car to have fun and live a life as a bachelor. It got worse when I began hearing that he was going from one OW to the next, moving in and “living the life.” Nevertheless, I chose to trust God and His Word, and today I am the one driving in that car with him!

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Josefa?

The most difficult times were the weekends when there was nothing but solitude at home, but God used it for good. He was showing me that He was there with me. Soon I started to leave the house and we'd do things, just me and my Beloved. 

Another thing that bothered me a lot was seeing my husband sometimes on my street because he came back to live at my mother-in-law's house after he tired of living with OWs. So we lived in the same neighborhood. It was difficult when I came home and I'd see him hanging out. All I did was take it to my HH, saying that I didn't want to see him walking around without his "other half"  because we are one flesh. Soon He answered this concern too, now no one sees us apart.

Josefa, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?  

It began when I started resting in God! I started not to look at my situation and I started to be grateful for everything I had. I made new friends who were also trusting God for restoration for their marriages and then shifting to just wanting Him. When I learned to give myself totally to my HH, leaving my restoration to God to restore "if it was His will" and allowing Him to change in me in every way that did not please Him. I believe the final turning point was when I adamantly did not want to be restored. It’s almost if God was waiting and said to my HH, “Okay, now she’s ready” hahaha.

Tell us HOW it happened, Josefa? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Josefa, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? 

My husband had made new "friends" at work, all were separated and who wanted to live the life of teenagers, living together, playing video games, being with women, etc. I prayed a lot that God would show him that this was not the life that would take him anywhere and God did what I'd asked! 

While on a holiday, my husband invited me to have lunch with him and my in-laws, and that's when he told me that he wanted to try again. At first, he didn't want to come back home, he just wanted us to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Because I knew we needed to change as a couple, I trusted God and accepted. At first, it hurt me that he called me his girlfriend and that he'd come to our house but then leave to go sleep at his parents' house. Several times I had to bite my tongue in order not to demand anything from him, and perhaps that was my greatest test. I had to not care.

This continued for a few weeks, but as soon as I turned my attention from my EH again and remained focused on my Lover is when he started to sleep at home and gradually returned back each time bringing his clothes. This transition was perfect because I was able to keep my HH first and have enough time to be alone with Him.

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Josefa?

Yes, I read the books How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, A Wise Woman, Questions and Answers, and I also took one RMI courses every day and watched the Be Encouraged videos more than once a day from my phone. I got to know the RMTs and what restoration really looked like and what triggered it to happen—being His alone.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Josefa? 

Certainly! We must comfort others with the comfort we have received from Him!

Either way, Josefa, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Beloved ones, believe in God alone! From that, you will be able to rest and start looking for Him the way He wants to be found! I, particularly, could not find Him as my Heavenly Husband, but because at the age of 9 I lost my father, who was the most upright man I have ever met. So when I met the Lord, God came to meet my needs so I'd have a caring father, a Heavenly Father. For me, I decided to continue that way, which was what I always needed the most. That’s when I realized He could become my Heavenly Love and I found the comfort I needed. So seek God with all your heart and allow Him to speak to your hearts and the rest He will do it! Let Him be who you need in your life!!

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