RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “Our Journey Never Ends”

Bree, how did your restoration actually begin?

One week before our 12-year anniversary, my husband left, saying he did not love me anymore. We had been in crisis for about a year and he had been threatening to leave me, but I did not believe he'd really do it. We did not seek help because I thought it was a phase that we were going through. I chalked it up to the financial problems and the stress and routine of everyday life. How wrong I was.

How did God change your situation Bree as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

My life and my situation changed completely the moment I gave my life to the Lord. Then, from that moment, I was no longer alone. He held me in His arms and at every moment I felt nothing other than peace. I'd speak to Him and spent time in His arms. He was more than a Savior or Lord to me. He became my HH. When I felt alone or I felt any sort of sadness dominating me, I entered into the secret places of my heart and I'd ask my HH to guide me. He began to show me that I needed to become the wise wife He'd designed me to be. Only our HH and His love are able to transform us. Entrust your life to Him and He will never once fail you.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Bree, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

The Bible was my comfort and my guide day-by-day. Just as important was the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. Both were fundamental in my journey. From the moment I applied the principle of letting go, I began to see the difference. The power of forgiveness and how it frees us, to be able to look at our sins and mistakes, no longer the sins of your EH or any other person, is all transforming. Following each principle, renewing my mind in the truth, is when I realized how much I'd failed in my marriage. I finally took the log out of my own eyes. Also, not talking to people about my problems helped me a lot. I stopped making mistakes and doubting what I knew I should do. Speaking to, listening to, and following the Lord by taking His hand, led me on a direct path to peace and my restoration.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Bree?

The most difficult times He helped me through were certainly when I found out about the OW. These were the moments when I could not see hope in my future. When my husband claimed that he did not love me, saying that he spent years by my side pretending to love me. Telling me that all those times of sadness, comforting each other, times we'd endured as a couple were not real. But from the moment I began to trust and give everything to my HH, asking Him, "Reveal to me the truth", my burden became lighter and I could see that God put me in this situation for one reason alone: ​​to truly find a Husband who loved me. A Husband who was there beside me just waiting for me to see Him, acknowledge Him and embrace Him. God used these very difficult moments, moments when I was shattered, to transform me into a better person.

Bree, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

The turning point happened the moment I realized it was time to really let go. Never to call him, never to send him a single message for any reason and to ask absolutely nothing from my earthly husband ever. From that moment on, I had a Husband and I knew I must be faithful to Him alone.

Tell us HOW it happened Bree? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Bree, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

A few weeks before my husband returned, I went through times of immense trial. People, even members of my own family told me that I should move on, find someone who would be better for me. It seemed as if everyone I knew had to tell me how perfect my EH and the OW were for each other. How happy they always were. And because I was so happy with Who I'd found, my HH, I began to think, "No, I really don't want my marriage restored."

Even with all of this, I felt deep down that our story as a married couple had not ended and that I had to trust my HH for my future. It had already been 16 months since he had left and during that time period there were regular returns, but then he'd leave again. Without having my own Love by my side, never taking my eyes off of Him nor yearning for a man who clearly cared for someone else, I know I would have reacted badly.

The truth is, the reason more marriages aren't restored, is because we want things done now when the delay just means we are not ready yet. More transformation, more healing needs to be done in our lives. This process needs the constant nurturing of Someone who truly loves and cares about us. So rather than want the restoration to occur, we become so content the wait is pleasurable.

My restoration happened after 18 months and 5 days. Without any signs or warnings (other than what I understood as signs when the enemy turns up the heat). One day out of nowhere my husband called me asking if we could talk. When we met, he wept, and he asked me for my forgiveness. He said he was ashamed for everything he put me through. He said that he loved me and always did even when he said he didn't. He said that without me he'd be lost, he’d be without anything that mattered to him. He said he'd understand if I wanted to move on but begged me to consider taking him back.

I stood up, leaned over, whispered “I love you” and we drove home in one car. This happened 4 months and 2 days ago. Though I now see I should have submitted my testimony sooner, I guess I wasn't sure He was done with me, done with us yet. Now I understand our journey never ends with restoration and I am so glad. I never want to stop the relationship I found with Him and I never want to replace what we have with an earthly relationship that leaves me wanting.

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Bree?

Yes the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and also the courses that allow us to journal and speak and hear from Him. This makes the journey enjoyable and today I love to go back and read those love letters I wrote to Him and He wrote to me. I also suggest to everyone, to every woman Finding your Abundant Life and Living the Abundant Life. I am on the fourth abundant life book now and each has helped solidify my marriage.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Bree?

Yes

Either way Bree, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Trust in the Lord for your salvation, then take His hand, make Him your One and Only. Rest in Him, do not follow the advice of the world, for only He knows what is going on. Follow the principles of the Bible and what's clearly taught here at RMI. Practice patience and forgiveness with everyone. Go beyond just praying and begin to communicate with your HH as a true Husband. Give your life and your problems to Him, give your future to Him.

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" Psalm 119

"I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, and I will trust in him"

Psalm 91