Zinnia, how did your restoration actually begin?
When my husband left home five months ago, we were living a life of turmoil. We did not talk much at all. Neither of us was ever home. He had already hurt me a lot with the things he was doing on the Internet. I told our pastors what he did, and immediately they told me the best solution was for us to have a period of separation.
When our pastors and I confronted him about what he was involved in, he said he felt ashamed. The more the pastors talked to him, the more they asked him questions, the worse things got. That’s when my husband said he did not know if he loved me anymore, and the pastors told us we needed to apologize to each other for not making the other one happy. We did that but then right before we were about to leave, and I was glad I'd gone to my pastors, my husband said, that he did not know if he still wanted to be married. He said that this talk had helped him decide to take a break from being married because we were both hurting each other too much. I was devastated, crushed and realized what a mistake I'd made by uncovering my husband’s sins. But it was too late.
My husband and I drove home in silence. When we got home, he went in and packed his suitcase and said he'd return for the rest of his things in a few days.
How did God change your situation Zinnia as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
I discovered the RMI site when I decided to fight for my marriage. My heart was broken and, on that day, while I was at work, I saw a post from someone who recommended RMI. It was through the website that God directed me and began to comfort me. I started to read the first few pages and then ordered all the books. After reading several eBooks I then went on to find the courses. I began to identify with the teachings, knowing it's really what I'd been looking for all my life. I was drinking up every principle, obeying every word.
I decided I needed more, so printed the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and I was devouring it day after day as my only meal.
God began gradually molding me, and the tears were cleansing my soul. Joy began invading me from the inside out. Then I spoke with my sister to participate and join me in this journey because she had been having problems in her marriage. With my sister with me, after going through a period of separation in her marriage—she reconciled with her husband. Seeing my sister happy again really encouraged me. At this point, I honestly wanted everyone around me to take the course and so began a group. Women who had all sorts of relationship issues were helped by His truth. We were like thirsty souls drinking up the truth and blossoming!
The How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book really does explain everything. It proves what I believed I knew but could never explain. God is wonderful and simply obeying everything as the course teaches us—everything—will change you and all your relationships.
God honored me, He showed me how I had an amazing HH who loves me and that He is always with me and as long as He is first, everything else in my life would and did fall into place.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Zinnia, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
With my mind renewed, I began leaving the errors of my way and the more I approached Him and our intimacy grew. He began to whisper in my ear Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart." Once I lived this verse, this principle and this truth, I could sense how He has always walked with me day after day. My life has been transformed because I have been blessed to live the will of God. I am completely in love with Him, my true Love. I do not know how to live without Him. I am not fully committed, my flesh will sometimes resurface, but with others to encourage, with others to encourage me to want Him above all else, I know that I could never go back to the life I had, living as I once was.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Zinnia?
It was probably when I went through financial leanness but that's when I saw how God supplied everything I needed. I'd begun to repeat “He, my HH was all I wanted and all I needed” and sure enough, all the things I needed and wanted were added to me just as it says in Matthew 6:33.
When once I cried like crazy, with my heart seeming to bleed, the moment He was mine and I was His God gave me sheer joy, full of laughter. There were no more tears and I was able to focus on my 4-year-old daughter. Through His love that never ended He gave me His warmth and love to drench her and help her thrive. I didn't realize it until then that due to the trouble in our marriage, crises were what she'd only known, times when she'd be basically ignored. My daughter needed as much healing and love as I did.
Zinnia, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
When I gave up everything to simply focus on my relationship with my HH. I was no longer distracted by my restoration or even wanting to get my husband back. It's true that I did not want my restoration any more. At one point when my husband approached me, I asked my HH what to say and then thanked my earthly husband for everything. I said this even though he never cared for us. After he left and even prior to this, I was the one who kept full time employment. Afterwards, my group told me I'd gone too far, and it appeared they were right when for months he did not call and did not try to contact me. Yet I was fully content more than I'd ever been in my life. It was only my HH, my daughter and me. The perfect family.
At that appointed time, my earthly husband sent me a text message asking if I wanted to try again and that he believed in our marriage. He said that this time everything would be different. He was different, I was different, and we owed it to our daughter to be together as a family.
I fainted in my HH arms, telling Him I was afraid but soon He gave me the peace, whispering, "It is time, my Love." I knew what God wanted me to do and as He has directed me all along, I took His hand, agreed and our restoration began to happen. “Not my will by Thine be done.”
Tell us HOW it happened Zinnia? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Zinnia, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
That very afternoon he came home with his suitcases, but he did not bring all the clothes. Each day he'd come back from work, he slowly began returning his things and his heart home. One project our group had decided to do was to make a list of things we wanted when God restored our marriage, and what I couldn't believe is how my husband began to almost check off things on that list. He began to pick things up at the local Target that I needed is when I finally realized what God was doing! I was in awe as I watched without saying a word, seeing for myself that God was changing everything.
The first day he came with his suitcases, he slept at home and stayed all day with us. He did leave, later, but then came back and stayed a full week and then left again. I guess everything really settled down after he'd been home for about four or maybe five months. With our daughter and now with me pregnant, I began to see how each of the teachings I'd learned through RMI and how, by seeking Him first, more than one miracle happened to our family.
Not only was our marriage healed and each of us was made whole, but our daughter was born into a new family where He is at the center.
Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Zinnia?
Yes, I first recommend reading the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and then find as many women as you know who need help. Form a group to meet weekly and study A Wise Woman. Suggest those in crisis to do the online courses either alone or as a pair. Then be sure to encourage (by how you live your life and who you talk about) to help each woman find her HH, which is vital to you and your group’s success.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Zinnia?
Yes, very much.
Either way Zinnia, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
There is so much I can say. I guess the first step is to stop fighting with your husband and stop fighting with God. He has a plan and there is no way your plan will work. God is on our side, He knows everything you need, which begins with the love of a good and faithful Man. God is the One who most longs for our marriage restoration and He knows when you're ready. Trust that God can do all things and that this ministry came from Him as a way of helping you along your journey. I am eternally grateful to everyone here. Thank you, Erin, for your sacrifice. I'm starting a new group, reading A Wise Woman book again, and as a group, we began the Abundant Life Course because we need to remember our journey with Him must never end.
