Evangeline, how did your restoration actually begin?
Well, my marriage began to unravel because of the continuous fights I was having with my husband. We'd argue because he was always late coming home. Then I'd get angry because he spent all his time on his cell phone and ignored me when he was home. Almost every day was a hassle, and this was taking a toll on our marriage.
Then one day, the day of my birthday, we had a huge fight, because he came late to my party. I kept calling to find out where he was, and then when he arrived, I started complaining in front of everyone. He came back at me by saying he'd been thinking of moving in with his dad, which made me very angry, and I lost all reason—I said that if this is how he felt, then leave and don't bother to come home anymore. I told him to leave my party, pack his clothes and get out.
Even after he left, I still thought he would come back because it was my birthday, but he did not come back; he didn’t even call me. When it sunk in what I'd done, I was devastated.
How did God change your situation, Evangeline, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
The first thing God showed me was that we cannot resolve things by speaking. Instead, we should keep our mouths closed and speak to the One who can calm us and take care of things that bother us. If there is a battle, it's our Husband's, and we are to stay by to watch. “You need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf . . . Do not fear or be dismayed . . . the Lord is with you” (2 Chronicles 20:17).
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Evangeline, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
I learned to wait for the appointed time that God has for everything. I am very anxious by nature, so it took Fasting and reading verses on waiting, over and over again, in order to change. I have learned a lot—so much I never knew. I began to ask God every day to give me wisdom, the patience to wait, and for His love to flow over me to bring me joy.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Evangeline?
The hardest moment was when my husband said he did not love me anymore, that he needed some time to see if he was going to miss me and still want to be married. He said that our marriage was no longer what he'd expected, that he wanted to live separate lives. This was the worst time because I also felt that our love had also been lost. But rather than give up, I wanted my husband with me. So, I went to my church for help. I wanted to know what to do, and they suggested divorce. Because I am a new believer, I wondered if this could be what we should do when a husband leaves us and wants to be separated, because I had my doubts. That's when I found your site and knew this wasn't the answer. God can and will restore.
Evangeline, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point was when I began to seek God for the answers to everything that was happening in my life. I knew that going to anyone else would lead me to the pit of destruction. Also, it was the moment I knew that only God can turn the heart of my husband, no matter what his plans, and that God is in control. The spiritual battle is great, so I knew I needed to have a lot of wisdom to deal with many situations, which I found in A Wise Woman, so many things that are not taught anywhere else.
Tell us HOW it happened, Evangeline. Did your husband just walk in the front door? Evangeline, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
We started talking to each other, the more I obtained a Gentle and Quiet Spirit and never contacted him. He called one day, saying he was very discouraged because of the problems he was having at work. He also said that there were so many bills to pay, and his salary had been cut. And, even then, they delayed paying him every month. So, anyway, several things began happening in his life.
He said he called because I was giving him strength, and that's when I said it wasn't my strength, and I began to share about the book I was reading, A Wise Woman. I shared my relationship with my HH, and I shared with him how He's who helped me find the way and find the strength to go through all the difficulties I'd recently faced. The more we spoke, the more I saw that God was beginning to soften his heart towards me--but mainly toward wanting to hear more about God and the relationship that I told him kept me calm and at peace.
He seemed to be taking it all in, but then suddenly he said he still did not know what to do with his life moving forward. This, I sensed, was the opportunity I'd ask God to give me. So I apologized for the way I treated him throughout our marriage and especially on my birthday. I asked him to forgive me, and he said, yes, he would. He said he wanted to come home, but didn't know for sure if I'd changed. Later, he came home with his clothes and never left.
Though we are restored, we are living one day at a time. I am trying to be a Wise Woman, and he is also studying his Wise Man. I am being more affectionate, more understanding, and I am always asking God when I have any question. When I need love, I don't run to my husband and demand or seduce him like before. Instead, I go to the source of my love, my Heavenly Husband, and what's so surprising is that soon afterward my husband began coming to me to be more affectionate.
We are even making plans to build our home. Even in this, I've given it to God. My HH fulfills all my dreams, takes care of all my concerns, and only God will make it happen if it is His will. Even though I came to a place in my relationship with my HH that I no longer needed to hear it, the day came when my EH said he still loved me so much that, even when he thought of separation, he really didn't want it, and that the moment I said I was wrong, he realized that he loved me and always had. I am so in awe of God and how amazingly He works in our lives. God is wonderful; never doubt that when we think that there is no way, He comes to change everything and give us everything.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Evangeline?
Yes. Of course, I recommend A Wise Woman. I know everyone recommends How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, which also helped me a lot, especially in that difficult period when I started to look for more help on the internet. I searched looking for restored marriage testimonies, and that’s when I found the RMI. I liked the Restore Your Marriage a lot; it speaks of everything that really happens in our marriages, our mistakes, anyway... I have not finished reading it, because I keep coming back to A Wise Woman. This is the book that I read first, which helped me so much and got my life on the right course, and it’s what I know will help me stay on course throughout my life. It’s not just about how to get a husband back, but also how to live as a woman, not just a wife.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Evangeline?
Yes
Either way, Evangeline, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
To everyone, I say, do not to give up or be discouraged by any circumstances. We have to believe that God has the best waiting for us. If we are obedient, repent of our mistakes and seek Him with all our heart, He will hear us and send us the help at just the right time.
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