♕Today's Promise: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” IC29
Nara, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
I noticed a detachment from my husband, Thomas, and it was said that there was another woman of an unresolved situation from about 16 years ago. I felt a physical pain in my chest that didn't let me breathe as I used to. Along with the pain came fear, insecurity, low self-esteem and the uncertainty of everything. I cried out to God asking for His help, because I knew that only He could change that situation.
As I knew the other woman, I kept looking for comparisons that only served to mistreat me, even though I knew rationally that we are unique people and beloved children of God.
As soon as I heard about the other woman, I went to talk to her to find out what was really going on. She was worried about her marriage and she said that she had no intention whatsoever with Thomas. Today I understand that I shouldn't have gone to meet her, that only God can change someone's circumstances through the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Later, He did, because she came to me to ask for forgiveness.
As we know, the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy, he wanted to see my house burned to the ground. I was noticing different behaviors from my daughter who at the time was 21 years old, I was losing her to homosexuality, and she had never given any indications of a situation like this before. Despite all of this, inside my heart there was a certainty that my house would be built and sustained by God.
Thomas had a troubled relationship with God, which made it difficult to search for Him, but I didn't give up, I prayed while he slept, laying my hands on his head, asking God to give him thirst and hunger for His word. I fasted a lot too. Anyone who knows Thomas could never imagine a transformation regarding faith. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” I Cor 2:9
How did God change your situation, Nara, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
I had many doubts and the main one was “whether it was God's will to restore my marriage”, because I lived with my daughter's father for 10 years and as it was an abusive relationship, it ended. With Thomas, it was different, I learned love and respect from him. He was always a man of integrity, honest, caring and faithful.
My desert lasted around 3 years and a few months. Every day, hours and minutes in the same focus, a psychological and emotional prison. All because of the stubbornness of thinking that my life, joy and contentment were in Thomas's hands and not in God's hands.
I was always authoritarian, I wanted to be the man of the house, I didn't look for improvements in myself or in my relationships with people. Relationships in general are systemic, when one part changes, the reflection is on the other, when one seeks improvements, the other tends to improve too, and this is not just in marriage, it is in any relationship.
I came to understand that the restoration of the marriage and my own would only be through me changing.
Thomas started going to church with me and the rest God prepared. He was baptized in water and God's good work continued.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial, Nara?
Loving the unlovable. To pray for the other woman and her marriage.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Nara?
Knowing that they could see each other every day because they worked together. The absence of intimacy for the entire time of the desert. Seeing that he made no effort to change our relationship, not understanding and realizing my pain.
Nara, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
It was one day at a time. God molded him as a person and He also molded me.
Tell us HOW it happened, Nara? Did your Thomas just walk in the front door? Nara, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
As with some testimonies, it took me a while to realize that my marriage was restored by God. The reason for this insecurity is because we are two imperfect people who need to be treated, healed, released and forgiven every day through our Father's mercy, because we make mistakes and hurt mainly those we love, but when we invite God to direct our way, His will is sovereign.
Thomas left home and went to live alone, I pressured him to come back, but after 5 months he left again and after 3 months he came back of his own accord and stayed for good. In a moment of great pain, I felt in my heart that he would return when I least expected it. There was a clear change in behavior and attitudes.
It took me a while to understand restoration due to the lack of intimacy, at the beginning of the desert he said he had no more desire for me, so I put it in my heart that restoration depended on it. I understand and know the importance of intimacies in marriage, but I also understand that God works with us according to His will. Thomas and I are being polished every day.
I dreamed of an apology filled with promises and oaths of love, but better than myself, my Father knows what I need and I am prepared to receive it. My daughter has also been taken care of by God, started a relationship with a boy and says she is in love. God of miracles!
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Nara?
The book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and the testimonies.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Nara?
Yes.
Either way, Nara, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Believe that God is most interested in seeing us happy and free. The family is the basis of a full life for every human being. Our contentment comes from God, only He can make us complete.
