RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “Two Pastors Told Me I had Grounds for Divorce”

 

Adrianna, how did your restoration actually begin?

My husband left me in May, shortly after we completed 10 years of marriage. We were arguing a lot and hurting each other with hateful and spiteful words. I had no wisdom, and so I argued. I was contentious and impertinent, and I began to suspect that there was another woman. After our argument, he left and said he was going to spend the day at his parents' house. When he came back that night, he said that he would be living with his parents and began to pack his things.

The months that followed were filled with so much anguish and pain. Not only did he just up and leave, he never contacted me, not once in several months. I heard from many people how he had a lot of hatred towards me and, due to not wanting to see me, he hardly saw our daughters and seemed not to care about them. About this same time, he left the church, started drinking and going out every night after work. Even though I suspected he was involved with another woman and told him I "knew" he was, in fact, he wasn't. Sadly, once gone and living a life of a single, he found (and began telling everyone about) his new girlfriend.

In my despair, I felt helpless and hopeless. I always believed that our marriage was forever and knew that God did not want separation or divorce. But, unfortunately, I did not receive good advice, even from pastors. I did everything wrong; I was full of doubts, and there was no one to help me with the answers I needed. I looked to God and asked Him to speak to me, to help me. I contemplated filing for divorce after two pastors told me I had grounds and God had someone else for me. But I did not know if it was right or wrong to do.

How did God change your situation, Adrianna, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

After much searching for help and not getting anything that felt right to me, I went searching the Internet for help. I began researching about witchcraft because I always believed that we were victims of things done to us and wanted the spell to be cast out. It was then that I found a site where someone was talking about the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, and then I found and came to RMI, and my whole world changed.

I started to read each one of your books, and slowly my behavior began to change, just because I was being fed the truth for the first time in my life. I no longer acted out with hatred, always arguing with everyone. I had an inner “peace that surpassed all understanding." I did not chase after my EH anymore. I'd been harassing him by phone, because of the money he was supposed to give me for our children. Once I started taking the course, pouring my heart out into my journals, that's when the real changes began to happen. I also read the daily praise reports in the Encourager, because I was filled with faith and hope on a daily basis.

My focus began to change from the negative to the positive. I woke up to seek God and worship Him with all my heart and spent precious moments with my Beloved Heavenly Husband. He cleansed my heart and took away all hatred towards everyone. When my husband showed up, I treated him with respect and affection, and I did not mention the money anymore. And this is when he started to come around, more and more often.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Adrianna, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

I learned to shut up, not to argue about anything, ever, and let it go. The courses helped me a lot. It seemed that every Daily Devotion and testimony were the answers I needed on that day, at every ordeal. God had a word for me. Many times, He used Erin's videos that seemed to answer my doubts at that very moment.

I have not finished reading the books I bought, because I found that I got more from the courses. If I missed a single day, I'd immediately find myself slipping back to my old ways. I had to repeat course 1 and 2, twice, before I took course 3, which was paramount to being ready for my husband's return (which happened faster than I'd imagine it would happen). Each of the courses, Erin's courses, and her words were the most important for my changing from the inside out, as she says.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Adrianna?

It was when my EH often came to me for intimacy but was still living his single life. I knew that he had a girlfriend, and he was going to meet her when he'd get up afterward. It bothered me, because everything was comfortable for him, having two of us. And, I confess, there came a time when I could not bear to be intimate with him, but I did it in obedience to the Lord. I thank God for my new relationship with my HH, or I wouldn't have been able to bear it. It was what He used to really help me fall in love with Him, which I asked Him to help me do—to be lovesick as Erin says she is.

Adrianna, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?  

It was when I told the Lord that He was all I wanted and all I needed. I fell completely in love with my HH, and I no longer wanted my EH or my restoration anymore. My EH could instantly tell, and he thought I was interested in someone else.

Tell us HOW it happened, Adrianna. Did your husband just walk in the front door? Adrianna, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

It happened when he noticed my disinterest, and I was apparently involved and in love with someone else. You can't fake this, because I tried more than once when I read testimonies saying that’s what led to their restoration. But until it's real, it just won't result in anything good.

Once I was entirely committed and in love with my HH, just as Erin says will happen, my EH was desperate to be with me. He called me and said he was coming home, said he was very homesick. When he arrived, he told me that he had read his Bible that morning, which he had not done since he left home, and he asked me if I wanted him to come back home to live as husband and wife. Could I forgive him? That same day, he broke up with OW and began asking me who I was involved with. I began to smile and then told him.

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Adrianna?

I think all the materials are excellent. The book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage was the beginning of my journey, as well as A Wise Woman, to get ready for your husband coming home. And as I said, it was when I took your courses that I really began to see changes in me and in our relationship. The resources I used most, and still use, are Erin's My Beloved devotional, Encourager, and Be Encouraged eVideos.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Adrianna?

Yes

Either way, Adrianna, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Never give up. God is powerful and can do the impossible. Everything He does, when it's left to Him, is much more abundantly beyond what we ask or think. I had no idea how different my life would become due to this journey I began with Him.