♕Today's Promise: "He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 10:39
Fay, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
My EH (earthly husband) and I separated in December, almost a year ago after finding out about the OW (other woman). I made the decision to leave and move into an apartment with our two small children (at the time ages 2 yrs and 2 months). It was the toughest decision I ever had to make and looking back I should have stayed—even though I felt a ton of pain and anger. On New Year’s Eve, I watched a prophetic prayer call and wrote in the chat for prayers concerning marriage and my husband. This woman responded and told me to check my messenger. She asked for my email and sent me a copy of the book “How God Can and Will Restore your Marriage.” She was upfront and let me know that this book was something serious and to be ready.
How did God change your situation, Fay, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
At first, I wasn’t seeing any change because my heart was still cold from the pain I felt after being married to someone for 4 years and together for 11 years. But once God started to reach me and reveal things about myself, I could slowly see the tide turning and my husband starting to soften. I began to take my eyes off of what happened and wanted to change and seek God and His relationship with me. I realized God was working on me and the intimate relationship I desperately needed with Him.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Fay, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
During this trial, God taught me a few things. First and foremost was to seek Him for everything and put no one else before Him. I never realized that I idolized my husband and put him before God. He also showed me the type of woman I was throughout our marriage (contentious, argumentative, nagging, and so on) and that I needed to change to be gentle, quiet, and still. (This is still my area of focus today but I’m quicker to notice when I’m starting to show these things).
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Fay?
Some of the most difficult times were when I wouldn’t hear from my EH and my mind would begin to wonder. Also, the nights were hard and when I cried the most—but prayer truly helps and God will give you peace.
Fay, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
I can’t really pinpoint the exact turning point but I did begin to notice things my husband would say that he never would say about me. He began calling every morning and texting throughout the day. He even began talking about purchasing a home together as a family.
Tell us HOW it happened, Fay? Did your husband just walk in the front door?
He definitely did not just walk through the door but we began to seriously start talking about purchasing the home and nailed down a time to secure the loan. He looked for homes all by himself and chose a home that he thought would be perfect for us and our children. The entire process was tough because my EH would doubt his decisions and even mention the OW often but God prevailed and we are in our new home together! Although we are restored and back together, the battle is still being fought. God is still dealing with me but I will say I’m quicker to repent and also seek Him. This journey is very hard but I know God will win the battle and receive all of the glory for our marriage.
Fay, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
I really couldn’t tell because everything was so up and down. We would be having really good days and then really bad days. My EH was struggling with his decision and still does today. At times I grow weary but each time God always pulls me back in and closer to Him.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Fay?
I recommend every resource!! The book “ How God Can and Will Restore your Marriage,” and read it several times. The testimonies of other women were such an inspiration and glimmer of hope and the journals which helped me track my thoughts throughout the journey.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Fay?
Absolutely!
Either way, Fay, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
This journey is very hard and it may seem like it will never get better but God is a faithful God and He will win the battle and receive all the Glory. Take this time to build an intimate relationship with God and become the woman He has called you to be. He cares so deeply for you and wants to give you the desires of your heart especially when it comes to your marriage. Your husband can be won without words!
Dear Brides,
There is nothing better than the unconditional love of God. He longs to give you the life you desire if you just trust in Him. Give Him your all (worries, concerns, praise, etc.) for He deserves the Glory. Once you give your life over to God and allow Him to be your Husband and you, His bride, He will change your heart and eventually the heart of your husband. Fall in love with Him, He is waiting for you. It's as simple as saying Yes!
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” (2 Cor. 5:7).
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” (Prov. 3:5–6 KJV).
“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Rom. 8:28).
He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it. —Matthew 10:39
This scripture from Chapter 2 "Finding Your Life" says and means so much. Our life is not our own, but it belongs to God. We have to die to ourselves and give Him complete and total control. Once you do this, you will be able to experience the life and love He desires to give you.
In this chapter, I was able to see how important it is to live out your life for God. Once you delight yourself in the Lord and live according to His purpose and His Word, you will begin to experience the life He has in store. Take all of your concerns, worries and even your thanks to Him for He deserves all the glory and will carry you. Reading this has helped me to take everything I encounter to God (even my good stuff). No longer do I worry or depend on man because God will see me through and cover me. This has changed my heart, my way of thinking, and how I treat others.
The current struggles, just prior to my restoration, were thinking about my EH and what he may have been doing during our time of separation (i.e. is he with another woman, is he thinking about me and his children, etc). I have given my concerns to God and immediately feel a sense of peace in the entire situation. I pray to God to help me remove those thoughts and replace them with positive ones. He covers me and doesn't allow me to go to those dark places as I did in the past. It has helped me to focus on God alone and not reach out to my husband and respond in my old ways.
Going forward, especially now after my restoration, I will take all of my concerns to HIM. He is the answer to everything. Oftentimes when I seek Him especially in what I should do, He guides me. If He is quiet, then I know that I should wait to respond or react to certain situations. In the past, I did not live by the principles. I used to immediately try to handle issues on my own by consulting my HH (Heavenly Husband).
Dear Brides,
Delight yourselves in Lord! Not only for your marriage but for your entire life. He is your Healer, your Deliverer, your Refuge, your Strength, your Guidance, your EVERYTHING. He will guide and provide for you in ways no one ever could.
This book and Finding the Abundant Life Course has been a true eye-opener for me as a wife. It brings you closer to God and changes you in ways that are unbelievable.
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