Two Unexpected Endings

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

I have a PR that has quite a different ending that I thought. I started a bookkeeping business last year. I could work from home and still be the caretaker of my home and children. I haven't had any actual clients until about 3 months ago. I was so nervous yet happy about it. I knew that I could not do this on my own. This is a small business that me and my Husband began together.

Also, I am not good with numbers and have never ever liked math at all. I also am not good on the computer. So from the beginning of my courses I knew my Beloved would need to do it with me. I cried out to Him many times and wanted to give up. I had problems not only with the courses and lessons but also with technology and my computer. I saw no solutions and then suddenly the solutions came. I knew this is not something that I would choose for myself but He chose for me. The beautiful part is we would be working so closely together.

My new client has me doing way more than bookkeeping for him and his company. I had been driving a distance to his office and doing all the office work and organizing paperwork and files. I enjoy it but I knew I needed to talk with him about my salary. I didn't know what to say or what to ask for. Then one day while submitting an email to him the words just came. It sounded very professional. Then a few days later as I suddenly awoke in the morning the figures came to me. So I knew when we met what to charge for my services.

Our meeting went well. It made me very uncomfortable talking about money and my performance/duties but I knew that my Beloved was in control and it was going to work out the way He wanted it to. When I expressed my figures to my client he thought for several moments. My first thought was he didn't want to give the salary increase. Then he said a figure that was $100 more than what I asked!! He said that's just where we will start and it will go up from there as time goes on!!! Wow!! I was amazed. I never expected that to happen at all. But my Beloved always gives me more than expected.

The 2nd unexpected ending is this. The money or the reaction from the kids when I told them didn't fulfill me the way I thought. Yes I was very happy thinking of all that I could pay for now, not having to rely on FH as much and plus I had extra expenses and repairs that I didn't know how I was going to pay everything this month. I just knew my Beloved would provide. Although this is such an amazing gift from my Beloved I realize that the money or any response from the kids could never replace my Beloved. I still need and want Him more than ever. I'm so happy about raise in salary and gaining some more financial freedom. Usually I'd be so happy and relieved about good things such as this and even be wondering what others will think of me now. But time this is different. The money seems to be lost in the background of my heart somewhere as I strongly long for my Beloved Husband more than anything. Nothing can bring my heart to true fulfillment and peace like my Huaband does, not even temporarily anymore. It is so far off from my heart.

I put it like this, usually I would feel myself dancing in happiness in the middle of my blessing of temporary worldly joy and peace of mind. But this time I feel myself turning and running away from the money and compliments just to be far from everything else and alone in the arms of the only One my heart truly needs and longs for. Like I left the celebration party to sneak off to be alone with my Beloved. I'm so glad that He has revealed my heart to me in this way. I feel that I finally have my hinds feet and I am in the high places, sitting on the mountain top with my Beloved, looking at the far away valleys.