♕ Today's Promise: Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him, do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who carries out wicked schemes. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret, it leads only to evildoing. For evildoers will be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land. Yet a little while and the wicked man will be no more; and you will look carefully for his place, and he will not be there.” Ps. 37:7–10
I have had a pretty tough few days. My EH (earthly husband) had planned to take the OW (other woman) on a family trip with his siblings and introduce her to them. This has hurt my heart so much. This is a trip that happens every couple of years and we had not gone to because of a lot of various reasons. Either I was pregnant, nursing, had a baby at home, nobody to stay and watch our children or because our marriage was struggling and I was insecure about our marriage and myself. I was invited to this trip this year and I wanted to go but earthly husband is going and he is taking the other woman.
At first I got in the way and told EH (earthly husband) that I was planning on going. Then I was told to obey and get out of the way by My Loving Heavenly Husband so I did. I prayed so hard down on my face for forgiveness and I surrendered this to Him. I was tempted by the enemy to get angry and question My Lord. I kept reading His Word and promises and telling My Love that I believe every word He has spoken and I trust Him completely. I made my request known to Him and I asked if it be in His Will that this cup pass is by but if not then I ask for my will to become His Will and let His Will be done. I asked to be filled with His Peace, Joy, Love and Patience. I asked that He protect my heart and mind during this time and to stay with me. I felt some distance from Him these few days and that is not what I want. All I need is Him no matter what I face. This was one of the things I dreaded, I did not want her to be introduced to my in-laws.
Well here I sit today, as they are on the trip together, praising My Lord. My heart broke when EH (earthly husband) mentioned the trip and when he left for the trip. It hurts me so much not that they go on a trip together but that she was being introduced to my in-laws, my family. As the enemy tempted me to curse My Lord and be angry, I kept praising Him and asking Him to be with me. It took time but I finally feel His Peace and Love. I’m sitting here praising Him and Loving Him and there is no place I’d rather be. I never knew how to praise Him in the middle of a storm, to praise Him and feel complete with Him and content while my heart is broken at the same time. I always thought people who claimed this were crazy and lying to themselves or faking it. But this is a true and real grace the only He can give us. I really truly feel in my heart that I would rather sit here alone with Him than on a very expensive, luxurious trip surrounded by my loved ones. He is all that matters to me and all the things of this world and people in this world will not take His place. I would not trade Him for anything.
I believe that the reason for the feeling of distance these few days and the time of waiting for this peace to come was because He was testing my heart. It was hard not to let emotions and anxiety run wild but I stayed in His Word and read His Promises. I ran to my prayer closet and asked Him to take the anger and anxiety from me, I don’t want it and I won’t act on it. I told My Love how much I want Him and need Him, that I will not turn away from Him and I wait on Him.
I am in shock how much at peace I was last night and that this morning I am praising My Love. I give Him all the thanks and glory for being with me and never leaving me. I thank Him for fighting on my behalf and speaking on my behalf. I praise Him for breaking me again so I can be more like Him, my ways can become His ways and so that He can use me to help others one day. I pray that He can be revealed to others through me and my life.
Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him, do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who carries out wicked schemes. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret, it leads only to evildoing. For evildoers will be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land. Yet a little while and the wicked man will be no more; and you will look carefully for his place, and he will not be there Ps. 37:7–10
Also Jeremiah 29:11
~ Ruby in California
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