♕ Today's Promise: "For if you want to save your own life, you will lose it; but if you lose your life for my sake, you will find it." Matthiew” 16:25
From ~ Petra in France
Hello Dear Brides, Since the beginning of my journey a year ago, my job situation and my finances went from successful and more than comfortable to reduced to a loaf of bread. Earthly husband was diagnosed two years ago with this disease that led HIM to stop working, because he is not physically able to perform anymore the job he was doing for more than 14 years. And due to covid, I lost the very high and good position I had.
During that year I learn to trust the Lord and let go of things. But I confess that it has been easier to let go of EH (earthly husband) than to let go of my finances.
Ladies, I am in this weird state of mind where I don't have the strength to fight this finances Goliath. So I tend to let go (I confess out of being knocked down all the time).
Yet, my first reflex after praying on the morning was to check my bank account on my phone. I stopped doing that.
But last week, out of being tired of being in this deep poverty (unpaid bills are piling up, account is overdrawn, neighbours complained because the hedgerows are not trimmed, etc. But I keep it all for my HH (Heavenly Husband), I don't tell anything to EH), I was thinking that if I don't have a job it might be because I am lazy and I am not looking for one. I like being a worker at home, so I did not look for one. So as I search to send out resume, I saw an interesting position that was 10 minutes away from home. So that day I sent two resumes. I was telling my Heavenly Husband that if it is not His will, He should not let me get them. Is it not the easiest "lack of faith" things to do ladies. Helping the Lord and then tell Him, "I did it, but if it is not your will...". Ladies, not bragging about it, but I never ever needed to sent out resumes to get a job. I used to be called and then picked the best offer among many. So I am just clueless about what is happening.
After that I sent an email to our bank account manager, asking her if it would be possible to get a loan so our account will not be overdrawn again. She denied my request saying that it won't be helping us. I praised the Lord and I repented. Do not get me wrong, it is not bad to look for a job, it is just that in my situation, I am pretty sure HH is not opening the doors in that area for me because He wants to lead me somewhere else. All I could hear in my heart was "STAND STILL", "EMBRACE your desert, DO NOT try to run away from it".
And then ladies, yesterday Heavenly Husband told me something that might sounds silly to you. But as I was asking the Lord to get me out of being overdrawn in my account, he simply told me "STOP using your credit card". Because I only shop for groceries or baby things or "needed" things, It never occurred to me that I was dwelling into the poverty mindset and that It was an hindrance to the work of the Lord in my finances. I settled for less. I have seen my Mum dwelling in credits, loans and in this poverty mindset since I was a child and up to now. I have done the same and thought the same so far. HH told me that I have to embrace poverty and this desert for a season, so He can free me from this mindset that the world gave me. It is hard ladies because it means that when my fridge will be empty, I will have to trust the Lord to provide. I will not use my credit card again unless there is money in the account. EH (earthly husband) and I have joined account so the only expenses there would be his. If he asks me why there is nothing for the house, and asks me to grocery shop I will obey out of obedience to my HH (Heavenly Husband).
Ladies, it hard, but I am so happy the Love of My Life leads me every step of the way. As a confirmation, the Mentality Poverty lesson I just read was about that "Don't Settle for less". Oddly enough I feel released.
"For if you want to save your own life, you will lose it; but if you lose your life for my sake, you will find it." Matthew 16:25
Ministry Note: Even though there might be “nothing wrong by getting a job” we who have become His bride and now are workers@home when we either lost our jobs (that caused us to have to leave our homes and feel Him so close to us) or He led us to let go of jobs when asked by our EH—there are real dangers being in the workplace.