| Shawana in the USA |
| I'm here: |
| Seeking restoration for my marriage. |
| What is your current marital status? Please be sure to choose the one that BEST describes your situation. |
| Separated: I am married, but my husband does not live with me. |
| Have you read the book "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage?" |
| Yes |
| How did you find our ministry? |
| Your ministry was found in your books. |
| Now, please tell us about your situation and why you have come to us for help and what has your husband/partner said are the main issues or problems he has with you and your relationship? |
| The rug was pulled from under me last thanksgiving. I received an anonymous letter stating my husband was having affair. Of course I questioned him about it. He said that it wasn’t true and so I tried to move on from there, but still had some doubts then around January he start becoming really distant. To the point where I was afraid maybe he had some addiction or something because he has struggled with alcohol. So I got concerned I checked his computer and I noticed that he had different Google accounts and so one of the accounts I had never seen before and when I opened up the Google Drive I found all these screenshots of conversations between him and ex, and other women. So in a state of rage, I asked him to leave. a few weeks later, we decided to seek counseling through our pastor who referred us to a counselor. We went to one counseling session the counselor called my husband out on, an untruth, he told during the session and then after that he was like he just don’t want to try to save the marriage so I try talking to him as much as I I could, and every time we spoke, he will tell me all the reasons why he want to be divorced. He first started with oh I don’t want hurt you anymore ,we’ve grown apart . Oh, I am not attracted to you anymore. I don’t feel the way that I felt eight years ago it’s not you it’s me then it turned into awkward him saying that because I question him about money and I question his decisions and, so I just got fed up with all of his reasonings. I apologies to him for being contentious and asked if he was sure of wanting to divorce. He sad he is unhappy and want a divorce. I let my flesh rule me. I said fine then I’ll go ahead and file. You’ve already told seven or eight times that you don’t want to be married so I filed and cried the whole time and then I came home and prayed for the Lord to intercede and a month later I received a letter from the court saying that they needed some more information that I didn’t complete it correctly I didn’t put our assets or something they were looking for and so I had 20 days to submit that information. I took that as God interceding that we were moving too fast with this whole divorce thing and so I called my husband and I told him hey you know this is what they’re looking for, but I wasn’t planning on doing anything with that I was going to withdraw the filing. And I have not done anything with it but he has now pursued an attorney to proceed with the original case that I filed even though the case was supposed to be closed after 20 days of me not responding. three months later, he’s got an attorney to get the judge to allow them extra time to complete the paperwork , so that’s where we are now. I had gotten off social media for a while but now I’m back on with a new page and I’m starting to get calls that he’s already posting pictures of himself They other woman.. he is saying that he is happy and movies on so that’s where we are. I have had some counseling. I have read several restoration books, including two of yours. I fast I pray . I’m in all of the restoration groups. I am just trusting and believing in the Lord to heal and restore our marriage. I’m to the point now where I only cry out to the Lord. today was a hard day because I got the messages about him posting pictures with another woman. I’m needing support from someone who understands why I am standing. I discontinued counseling because the therapist didn’t understand why I wanted to restore our marriage. She seemed very concerned with my self esteem and self worth .. it’s sad hardly anyone believes in the sanctity of marriage anymore. We do not have any biological children with each other but I did help raise his(our) daughter for eight years. We tried but he just stopped trying. He said he was getting in his head. |
| Please use the space below to simply speak to God, in your own words, pouring your heart out to Him. |
| Lord. I am trusting you in this season to heal my brokenness and heal my broken-heart. I have repented for my offense towards our broken marriage. When speaking to my husband about honoring Gods word regarding divorce. My husband stated he will just answer to Jesus at judgement day. I do repent talking to him about spiritual warfare and demons. Although he responded he “understand spiritual warfare” “since we are in the same church sermons” not sure if he understand sowing and repping and he felt I was demonizing him. He doesn’t always pay attention to his surrounding I pray the Lord protect my husband and bless him. I ask the he gives him a new heart and remove the scales from his eyes and ears and heal his heart and soul. I ask Holy Spirit to convict my husband so he truly repents for his sins. |
| In order for us to minister more effectively to you, please check what concerns apply to you: |
| Abused or molested as a child. |
Are you interested in learning how you can help other women who are in marriage crisis as a  Marriage Minister ? CLICK on the IMAGE that describes you right now. |
Yes, maybe in the future . Please send me the information to pray  about it. |
| Finally, please choose how you would like us to conduct your Marriage Evaluation from the choices below. |
| Posting your questionnaire Publicly on Encouraging Women. |
Before commenting, remember to:
- Speak to your Husband, your Maker, to know what He wants to say to this brokenhearted bride.
- Keep it SHORT.
- Encourage sharing 1-2 Promises.
- Bridge to the course He used to lead you along your Restoration Journey.
- When we see a 3 Cord of comments supporting \o/\o/\o/ her, we will reply to her email. Thank you!!
In addition, if you relate to ANYTHING, be sure to share how your Husband, your Maker, led you and healed you and what promises or courses He led you to find "the peace that surpasses all understanding. Again, thank you!
Dear precious Shawana I want to start off by sharing that my own sister was molested as child when I was in the vehicle with her (when we were seven years old) and our Loving Lord wants to heal all your hurt, even from childhood like He healed our hurt (and I just want to add here my sister gave me permission to share that she was molested because she gives her testimony, that our Darling Lord healed her, to help other women).
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. P34:18 The Lord is going to heal your broken heart precious Shawana, just take His hand and remember nothing is impossible for Him, a verse that always gave me hope in my whole journey: “For nothing will be impossible with God.” L1:37
Dear precious Shawana shift your focus to our Darling Lord, because He is the One that is going to do it for you, but first He wants to become your First Love and I want to encourage you with what helped me a lot to shift my focus: filling my heart with all the testimonies, daily encouragement on the blogs and doing courses on RMI and then journaling, it is life changing and it will be for you too. Remember dear precious Shawana Simply Seek God and let Him lead you (important principles that I learned here from RMI, that also changed my life and helps me a lot).
And I want to give you a verse of hope because your husband is filing for the divorce now: “The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.” P21:1 Remember no matter what your husband says or any other negative reports, the Lord is the One that is going to do it all, you just have to rest in Him and trust Him.
It is so good that you cry out to the Lord, keep doing it and trust Him to do it all. “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” R8:28
Dear Shawana,
God can restore your marriage, even if you’re the only one pursuing restoration. Just be still and give all your concerns to the One who truly cares and wants to take your pain away.
The Bible says:
“God is our protection and our strength, He always helps in times of trouble. So, we will not be afraid if the earth shakes, or if the mountains fall into the sea. We will not fear even if the oceans roar and foam, or if the mountains shake at the raging sea.” Psalm 46 ICB
When my husband left he told me he loved me but wasn’t “in-love” with me anymore and he filed for divorce. The night before the first court date (I wasn’t planning on attending) my husband came and spent the night and slept through the hearing. I praise the Lord for His Word and showing me the principles that Erin wrote in the Restore Your Marriage and Wise Woman Books.
Before my restorations the chapter from the RYM and Wise Woman Book helped me tremendously. https://hopeatlast.com/c3/day-10-chapter-5-won-without-a-word/
Also please do the courses, as they will help renew your mind. https://hopeatlast.com/rrr/
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14. I pray that you find and embrace His love. 💕
Thank you . So much . I have the books and will look into the courses.
Dear Shauna, the first thing that came to my mind is how much the Lord wants to heal you. In the midst of pain and sorrow, we have gone ahead of the Lord and made moves we regretted later instead of trusting Him and waiting for Him to move. I encourage you to take advantage of this time to grow your faith in Him by resting in Him and trusting Him for all the promises He has given us. “Rest in the Lord and waiting patiently for Him.” Psalm 37:7 If you have not already, follow the instructions on RMI on reading Psalms and Proverbs and renew your mind every day with His words. Most importantly, fix your eyes on your Husband and try your best not to pay attention to what your EH does not does not do. This is a spiritual battle and it cannot be fought with flesh.
Even though I learned from the very beginning on RMI that the Lord causes crisis in our lives to draw us back to Him, I didn’t grasp the meaning of it until recently. I believe now that this is not about me or my spouse or my marriage, it’s about God. He is alluring us to be reconciled back to Him.
“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 He will work it out for your good. Trust Him and trust the PROCESS He has set in place.
Dear Shawana,
I understand what you are going through because your husband’s arguments were the same ones that my husband used once our marital crisis began. He said “There is no longer magic between us”, it was true but I mistakenly thought that it was normal for there to be fights in marriage, but that’s a lie.
I was as desperate or more desperate than you to recover my marriage because it had just begun and the first thing I did was cry out to God with a loud cry from the most intense pain in my heart, a pain that I had never felt before in my life. At that same moment the Lord guided me to this ministry, He shocked me when He told me the cause of the marital crisis (of all crises) is: “But I have it against you, that you have left your first love.” A24 first I thought “What?, but I am a Christian woman! In reality, I had only heard of Him, but I did not know Him intimately.
RRR courses helped me understand all the principles of marriage and go through the journey with a new mind and wisdom by heaven while I completed the journals at the end of the lessons. Once I learned them, I wanted much more and He blessed me with the Abundant Life courses https://loveatlast.org/fc/ where I could know Him as my Heavenly Husband, it was there that I obtained the key principles for Him to be first in my heart. The Lord freed me from the need for the love of my earthly husband by filling me with His supernatural love and care, so I stopped needing and longing for my earthly husband and began to give him the love that My Heavenly Husband had freely placed in my heart, without reproaches, and thus He restored my life and marriage.
My Beloved encourages me to share with you my restored marriage testimony (which you can translate into English using the translation tool below, selecting the American flag) https://elanimador.com/me-bendijo-con-su-gran-amor/
God bless you! We hope to hear from you on our Blog https://encouragingwomen.org/, let us know what He is doing in your life as you begin this new journey of restoration. Welcome!!
My dear Shawana, you mentioned that you were molested as a child, and what He led me to share with you is that what you need right now is healing from all your past hurts, and I would like to encourage you to do the He Healed Me course (https://loveatlast.org/hhm/). Only the Lord can truly heal all our deepest hurts and set us free from the prison of pain that holds us captive.
I know what you are going through right now is very difficult and heartbreaking, I have been there as well, but since I met my Heavenly Husband (https://loveatlast.org/his-bride/) and found everlasting love (https://loveatlast.org/) He lifted me out of the pit of despair and truly healed me.
During this time focus on your relationship with the Lord, seek Him and find Him as your Heavenly Husband because He is right there next to you, waiting to love you and to heal you:
“Fear not, for you will not be put to shame; And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced; But you will forget the shame of your youth, And the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. For your Husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer Who is called the God of all the earth. For the Lord has called YOU, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,’ Says your God.” (Isaiah 54)
Lastly I would also like to share these lessons with you that I would like to encourage you to read:
https://hopeatlast.com/c2/d15-the-freedom-of-letting-go/
https://hopeatlast.com/c2/d16-dealing-with-adultery/
https://hopeatlast.com/c2/d27-standers-ministries/
Always Seek God and let Him lead you on this journey, He is the only one who knows the answers you need right now.