♕ Today's Promise: "On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you’ve got to let him or her go. You should not hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can. You never know, wife: The way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you but to God.” 1 Corinthians 7:7-16
Calista, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
I think things started deteriorating even before we got married. I always had a very strong "temperament" (nice word for nothing more than horribly contentious) and from the beginning, when we were dating, I argued with my husband about things that I didn't think were right and even if they weren't really anything worth arguing about. The bible teaches us to act entirely differently, which I didn’t do and so I took all of that into our marriage.
How did God change your situation, Calista, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
When my husband left home, I was in shock. To me, although I was contentious and we fought over everything, most recently financial issues, we were always friends. We had loved each other since childhood, so it was very difficult to grasp. Since I was a child I have been a Christian and so in the midst of everything, God was appealing to me showing me everything I did wrong. So I repented to the Lord, then I repented and asked my husband for forgiveness. Every day I sought God more, to understand what He wanted me to do, to make Him not only my Savior, but also my Lord. So after about a month when my husband had left home, I found the book How God can and will restore your marriage and the book only confirmed everything that God was already ministering to my heart but now He provided me with a roadmap to get through my Restoration Journey.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Calista, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
Several!! First of all it was to love my God over all things, that was fundamental in my life. He needed to be and now is my everything: my best friend, my protector, my Husband, the reason for my life, all I need is Him and all I want is Him. Becoming His bride changed my life and for this, I will be forever grateful to RMI. Now I can no longer live a second without His presence, without His love pouring over me.
The principle of goodness, especially goodness coming from my mouth, which is a reflection of my heart. Having a gentle and quiet spirit was what made my husband notice something different about me. Praise God the contentious woman was gone and he couldn't believe it. Sometimes he even said "It is not possible for someone to be like this, you are kidding me, this is not serious. This kindness is fake." But what my EH (earthly husband) saw was Him and His love in me and that was real.
Letting go and winning without words, these are also fundamental. I did not question my husband as to where he was, with whom he was with, whether he would return, I gave everything into the hands of God and rested in Him.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Calista?
When he told me about OW (other woman) and the possibility that she was pregnant. It left me devastated, and in the moments when I thought things would flow and he said he could not leave OW (other woman) and he felt guilty and accused by the enemy. In those moments I poured myself out to the Lord, I always cried only to Him, alone. Through it all, I never doubted what He had said to my heart that He would do, the tears were my heart breaking. I was so thankful that every time I faced some more news that was not in my favor, the Lord, my Husband, gave me peace in my heart that exceeded all my understanding. There is no way to explain it. He's wonderful and I love Him so much.
Calista, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point was when I decided to let go of restoration entirely, my new purpose was a life alone with the Lord. My prayers also changed. At dawn to cry out for my husband's salvation, for 7 days (perfection number for completion), I got up at dawn to cry out for my husband's salvation, so that He would have an encounter with God. At the end of the 7th day I heard someone at the door and when I went to open it, to my surprise, it was my husband, tears running down his face. How can I express to you what I felt, how I felt the power of God and how He heard my prayers and how I was able to rejoice in my husband’s salvation. Never even believing in God, due to my complete transformation and my prayers for Him, God performed a miracle. I love my HH (Heavenly Husband) more than anything in my life and I am nothing and nothing at all without Him, I love You, Lord, I love You! My husband moved back home that day after 22 months away from home.
Tell us HOW it happened, Calista? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Calista, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
I did not suspect that he would return exactly the day I finished purposely praying for his salvation, but I had expectations that God would do something amazing. I deeply believed that my purpose would be served by God, as a single woman after reading this in the Message Bible (after becoming a lover of all versions that I devoured all day long).
“Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.
“I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can’t manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to an emotionally tortured life as a single.
“And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master’s command, not mine. If a wife should leave her husband, she has two choices, she must either remain single or else come back and make things right with him.
“For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you must do...If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife... Otherwise, your children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual purposes of God.
On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you’ve got to let him or her go. You should not hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can. You never know, wife: The way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you but to God.” 1 Corinthians 7:7-16
I was sure that He would be faithful and trusted His will for my life and for my husband’s life. That day, my husband came home with all his things, Glory be to God, all honor and all glory! His heart has never strayed from me or the Lord whom he serves.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Calista?
Yes, the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage was the best thing that God could have given to me at that time, that book changed my way of seeing and allowed me to repent of my sins and open my heart for the Lord to me. From there, to shape according to His will, I took all but one of your courses, which I am currently doing now. My husband also is studying a Wise Man.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Calista?
Yes, I believe that is why God allowed me (and every woman He leads here) to go through all of this, so that I could help other women and people (I’ve given the RYM for men who are in the same situation and point them to Hope At Last site. What I want most is to bless other lives so that there is restoration in their lives, not just marriages, so the Lord is glorified
Either way, Calista, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Don't give up, no matter what your husband says, what people say, whatever anyone says or you see or you hear. No matter what, focus on God, He wants your marriage restored more than you do. If you pour your heart out at the Lord's feet and then as you rise up and later sit on His lap as His Lover, pay attention to do everything according to His will. Let go of your plan. Rest in Him and then you will see the miracle happen. Our God is a God of miracles, and when your marriage is restored, give Him all the honor, all the praise and all Glory. Focus on helping others. Do not give up!!!
You'll find this in By the Word of Their Testimony (Book 10): "Blessings will Come and Overtake You"
There are even MORE testimonies available to read in By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series Packet: 10 eBooks or by purchasing them in paperback By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series COMBO Packet: Paperback & eBooks.
If you or your husband has returned home, submit your testimony so we can begin to encourage you to continue your Restoration Journey and invite you to our Zoom Fellowship for restored brides.