♕ Today's Promise: "For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth." Isaiah54:5
Janine, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
Leonard was my school sweetheart. A year later, I walked away with him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Two years later, I became pregnant with our first son and on December 6, we got married. He was 19 at the time and I was 21. The first 2 years were awesome, but the third year we started arguing more and more. We started clubbing and I felt I had my young life back again. We were married just three years when he came home and said he felt we needed to give our hearts to God, but I said no and that I was enjoying my life too much. He even came home once and asked that I help him because he started using drugs, but I was so full of myself that I said he must sort out his own mess, and if my parents were to find out I would divorce him.
I knew he was unfaithful to me and I wanted to take revenge and was unfaithful to him. When I went through his phone I found this one number and confronted the OW (other woman), but she replied that they were friends and there was nothing I could do about it. I just fought more and more and one night it went so bad he admitted he was being intimate with a lady, and I was so furious I admitted I too was intimate with somebody else.
Leonard married the OW 3 years after I'd given the phone number to divorce me, and I also got a boyfriend and thought that would be the solution. Yes, it made him jealous, but it was the worst thing I could have done because if I had stayed on my knees in front of God, I know we would have been back together sooner. I didn't keep boyfriends long because my heart longed for my husband Leonard. My doctor said she had to admit me to a hospital for depression but I asked her to give me one week to sort out my life. I threw away the depression and sleeping pills and asked God to help me, and ever since been free from pills.
How did God change your situation, Janine, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
Four years after me trying to move closer to God, I learned about "standing," I asked the ministry if I could stand for my marriage even after he was remarried and the reply was yes. I know I didn't do it right [standing], but most of the time I was too busy with my own feelings. About a year later, I went to this new church where I started giving over more and more to God and it was a pastor that didn't believe in getting married again. Two years later I stopped with all the texting and phone calls and just let go of him and I started watching my words. Then about a year later, I got prophetic word from my pastor that God is going to give me my family back.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Janine, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
The one thing that really changed it all for me is when I stopped being intimate with my FH (former husband) and when I stopped having contact with him as you will see he confirms as well.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Janine?
Leonard went on going back and forth between me and OW (other woman) and 2 years after Leonard married the OW, I became pregnant with his son, but I also kept on fighting with him because “how could he put me through it alone”, and of course I made matters worse. The OW didn't leave him and just held on more to him. I would always say to him what if she became pregnant, and when we fought I would say to him I know she is going to become pregnant. And then, she did and they had a baby girl in November, 2 years after I'd had our son. It broke me and that’s when I learned what power our words have. I stopped using drugs after getting pregnant with our baby boy and I tried to move closer to God. But still, I didn't stop phoning him and texting him. I begged him to come back but he wouldn't, and my fighting didn't stop.
Janine, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
Leonard started phoning me more and more and he even started saying he missed me more as soon as I let go. But he kept on using drugs, but I prayed more. On February 11, he phoned me and asked me to come and see him. I just felt I had to go, and at that stage, he just broke down. I held him in my arms and we cried together not even worrying who was looking at us. He said he had lost everything and I replied that he hadn't and that I just wanted him to get his life right with God and stop using drugs. He said he was finished with drugs and just wanted his family back and that he would go with me to church (which he previously said he would never do).
Tell us HOW it happened, Janine? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Janine, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
On February 14, he went with me to church, it was the best Valentine's Day ever, without gifts, but this time with God (oh yes but he gave me a chocolate with the words “I love you”, which I still keep, I can't eat it, it's too special, lol). He wanted to get married again very quickly, and on March 11 of this year, we got married, and it was just us and our pastor and the kids, and of course God. A week before our wedding I said to God, this time I can lose Leonard, but I can't lose God and I know that was He has changed me because God is my first love now and will always be. A week after our wedding he said, “I know you feel shocked because this all happened very quickly, but get used to it because this is for life, and get used to my face because I am going to get old and you are stuck with me for life.” He is such a changed person and I'm treated like a queen, and that is all because of God!
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Janine?
I was part of a Standers ministry and it was one of the reasons that my restoration journey took so long, because I had problems with letting go and being intimate with Leonard, but I did have the books How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and also the Kelly Todd Restoration Journey Novel.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Janine?
Yes.
Either way, Janine, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Don't let your own feelings get in the way of your restoration. Humble yourself to God and do it as quick as possible, not like I did it. A week before our wedding I got a beautiful vision from God: God showed me a very black thick curtain and that Satan wants us to think that it is a very thick wall and that there is no hope because of the darkness you see in front of you, but it's only a curtain and God is working behind that curtain and at the right time God will pull away the curtain so that you can see the beautiful picture God was working on, so don't believe Satan's lies. I know 15 years was a very long time, but if it can help only one other person not to make the same mistakes I did, then it was all worth it!!!
We still have so much to say but me and Leonard said bit by bit. We wanted to share more in our testimony but so much happened in those 15 painful years that we hoped would help encourage other couples.
Janine’s husband, Leonard
My advice to women waiting for their husbands would be, if he divorced you don't tease him and don't have intimacy with him because it was easy when I had my bread buttered on both sides, I didn't have to choose. And don't keep on texting him and phoning him, Janine did keep on and she didn't give me the time to miss her. The more you cling to the person the more you push that person away. The moment she stopped phoning, texting and being intimate with me and let go, things changed for me. The OW also started changing then…
Janine’s FRIEND, Yvonne
I praise the Lord for the restoration of this marriage. I think I am more pleased for my friend’s restoration than I will ever be for my own:):):). He is so faithful and wonderful and the reason I am adding to this already amazing Restored Marriage testimony is because I was led to give my view from the outside.
So, I will start with my relationship with my dear friend because in this you will also see how our wonderful Heavenly Husband works. We used to work in the same building since 1999 and though I knew of her, I did not know her. Years later we met again in the building we are currently working in. We said Hi from time to time, but I never really felt comfortable in her company because she would speak so freely of the Lord, and I did not want to hear because I was not even sure that He really existed. And though I may not have been ready to hear the truth, the seed must have been planted because when my marriage fell apart, her name came up when I sat in church. So I went to her and she sowed the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book in my life. She also gave me the Prison to Praise book.
Later she told me that she was talking to the Lord one morning on her way to work and asked Him for a true friend. Well, the Lord answered that prayer and so much more. In each other we found comfort and together we learned to turn to the Lord for everything we need.
As I was starting with the RMI and learning the principles of the Bible, I could see the Lord teaching them to my friend as well. I could see the wonderful change in her and ladies we all know that we have changed once the Lord gets hold of us:), but seeing the change in someone else is breathtakingly beautiful. From the first time I started reading the Bible, she made me think of David, because she had a heart for the Lord, and although she was not as obedient as she should have been, I could see a love for the Lord in her that made me crave Him even more.
My friend came from the background of a “stander” and if you have done the online courses in this ministry, you will see the pitfalls within “standing”, but for our wonderful Lord, nothing is impossible!!! So as my friend became closer to the Lord I could see her letting go of her then FH (former husband) and I could see the Lord glowing out of her.
I cannot praise the Lord enough for what He did for my friend and to tell each one of you: “Be encouraged, what He did for her, He can and will do for you!!!!!!!!”
~ Yvonne in South Africa
Find more understanding and to overcome the hurdles: #Letting Go, simply click on the #TAG linked to Restored Marriage Testimonies.
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