RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “I felt Hopeless and Thought about Giving Up”

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Jensine, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

I want to announce that after 4 years of separation my husband has returned home. He is no longer with the other woman and we are also expecting a baby! I cannot thank God enough for my restoration.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14 NIV

Jensine, how did your restoration actually begin?

In the beginning, my restoration journey was a bit of a challenge. I came to RMIEW for help with my restoration journey as I was a complete mess in the beginning. I wasn’t sure what to do or who to turn to. I wanted my marriage restored and I wanted my relationship with God. So I decided to go back to working through the courses to help me get myself back on track.

My husband left me 2 months after marriage to be with another woman who has a child by him. I came here “standing” in my marriage and I had refused to give up. I came here just praying that my husband and I could start over and live our lives as husband and wife.

How did God change your situation Jensine as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

As I continued to my walk with God, I learned a lot more about Him. Of how God is so kind and loving. How He cares for us as a people and how He wants to do so much for us. When I first came I was emphatic about what I wanted, I said, “I really love my husband and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have never loved anyone as much as I love my husband. I want my marriage to be restored so we can be together forever.” But after coming here I realized that was at the root of my marriage destruction. I needed to feel that way about the Lord.

What principles, from God’s Word (or through our resources), Jensine, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

I can honestly say that I have read through a lot of Proverbs and Psalms for encouragement and for wisdom. I felt that whenever I would read Psalms, it would comfort me. Hearing God’s Word as it speaks the truth, that I can trust and rely on God. That my salvation comes through His Son.

While doing the Contentious Woman lesson I wrote: I would like to say as I started my walk with God that He has transformed my life. I have suffered through depression, I was contentious, and I did things that I should not have done. God convicted my heart and He has helped me get through each day. The same way He has helped me, He will do the same for you. I have learned that pride is dangerous and can cause more harm than good. That God will humble those who are prideful. I have learned that it is not good to be self-centered and not to follow the world’s way of thinking of how being proud is the way we should be.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Jensine?

The most difficult times God has helped me through the most is when I was homeless and didn’t have a place to go. God made sure I had a place to lay my head and that I had food to eat. Throughout that difficult time, God was always there for me and has never let me down.

About halfway through my RJ, I submitted a second questionnaire and said, “I feel that my marriage is soon to be over because my husband now wants a Divorce. My husband left me for the OW 2 months after we married, and has just left the other woman, but is now asking for a Divorce.”

I would like to say that God has helped me with the ongoing health problems that I used to deal with. I had problems with high blood pressure and high blood sugar. I was borderline diabetic and was extremely overweight. Then God has helped regain my health. In a praise report, I said, “As I started my journey I was down and depressed. I felt hopeless and thought about giving up many times. I started craving food as a way of comfort, which ended up doing more harm to me than anything else. I didn’t want to live my life that way anymore and I wanted to change. So God has sent a woman in my life who has been encouraging me. A woman who is now a friend and has taught me how to live a healthy lifestyle and helped get back on my feet. Ever since then my life has changed. I am healthier, happier, and living a better life. Thanks to the grace of God.”

Jensine, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

I believe the turning point of my restoration was when I stopped trying to do things my way. I had to learn the hard way that I cannot do this on my own and that I needed God’s help to help me get through it. It was hard and it was challenging because it was hard for me to let go of the things that I held onto so tightly. Eventually, I had to throw in the towel in order to let God take care of what He needed to be done.

Having found RMI so many years ago, and due to believing I could skirt and get around the principles, maybe just ignore them, that God would still restore my marriage if I just believed and kept telling myself He would. The turning point is when I got real with myself. God sent me here to learn the principles and to follow them, so I changed and began going back to review all the principles I skipped over. The first one was Tithing. The moment that I donated to my storehouse, it’s like the wind changed course and blessing began to happen regularly. My husband told me that he still loved me and he even kissed me, but then stated he just wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. And of course, the other woman was still in the picture at the time. But I knew it was the Lord showing me the power of trusting Him and following the principles.

God blessed me for Tithing when I was able to pay my rent on time and I began singing praises because I was behind on my rent for some time due to unexpected things that had occurred that pushed everything back. God had other plans and He made a way for me once again.

Another was sharing praise. I loved reading everyone’s praise reports but I never gave anything back. I’d become the Dead Sea Erin speaks about.

A key principle I also ignored was Letting Go of Your Church. Again, I thought I could ignore this and continue moving forward in my RJ but I was kidding myself. When I stopped going to church for about a few months is when it began to allow me to have more time with God. To have my quiet times with God and to be able to be in His presence as much as I want to be. To be able to focus on Him and relax knowing that He is always with me. I would say that each Sunday is a bit different. Some days I may go out for a walk or go do something I enjoy doing. Sometimes I spend time reading or just relax. Listening to praise music and just enjoy being with God in my own time. God has changed me in many ways. He has taught me that the church is the people and that to ‘minister’ is to minister to the people everywhere not just in a church building. He taught me to seek Him first and His kingdom. To study more of His Word and pray more. To be intimate with Him.

The difficult times God has helped through is when I faced hardships and would seek the church for help, but in reality, God wanted me all to Himself to show me that He is all that I need and He will provide for me.

Dear radiant bride, I would say that having time with your HH is the best thing that you can give yourself. He loves us so much that no matter what we do, He is always there for us and He will pick us up even when we fall. Enjoy the time you have now with Him because very soon He will honor you with restoration too.

An early turning point the Lord just reminded me about was when I came clean and honest. When I filled out my third questionnaire I finally stated the truth “I left my husband because I found out that he was messing with another woman.” I’d told everyone he had left me, but it wasn’t true. I even began believing it myself. Like Erin always said, “He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.” Proverbs 28:13.

The final turning point is when I followed the principles of Prison to Praise and simply praised and was thankful for everything. In a praise report I submitted I said, “I want to thank God for the amazing turn around that He has done in the circumstances of my family. I am thankful that He is working and He is a God of miracles. Psalm 59:16 “But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.” I chose to sing praises to God for His goodness and His mercy. I chose this verse because He is my Rock and my shield. He is my fortress and realized how I am deeply loved by God.

Tell us HOW it happened Jensine? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Jensine, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

I had just moved into my new apartment. My husband and I were communicating on a regular basis by phone and he was planning on coming home sometime in June. He has other children with the other woman and was not ready to leave his children, but that sat morning, nine months before he’d said he’d come home, I received a phone call from the other woman (the woman he was living with and who he had two children with). I had no idea the woman was going to contact me or how she found my number at the time, but after we talked she made him leave her home. She found out about the baby we currently are having and later that afternoon my husband called me and told me that he was coming home. He has been home ever since (six months now) and our relationship has gotten a lot better then it was before. My husband is not saved so I am still praying for his salvation, but he accepts that I am a Christian and respects my walk with God.

I starting having feelings that my marriage was close to being restored when my husband kept telling me that he was coming home and began making plans for our future. But I just didn’t expect him to come home so soon.

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Jensine?

Yes, I would recommend all of the resources I used that can help so many others in their restoration journey. I am amazed by how far things have come, looking back to where I was when I arrived here. Of course, How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage set me on the right path, and the Abundant Life Courses helped me to develop the relationship I needed with my HH, but it was Course 3 that laid the foundation for my restoration. I’d taken C1 and C2 over and over again, not moving forward, so that’s another reason my Restoration Journey took so long.

I would like to say that since I started doing all the courses, it has opened my eyes up to things that were going on in my life that I needed to change. Slowly God helped me through the process and is still helping me get through each day. I would say these courses are full of life lessons that teach you about wisdom and how to respond to things. I would like to say that as you walk in the way that God is leading you, He will pull you through the tight places and He will open up doors that no man can close. You just have to hold onto His hand and allow Him to move you forward.

Do you have favorite Bible verses that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Jensine?

Yes, I would.

Either way Jensine, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
I would like to say to keep your head up and know that you are not alone in this journey. You were allowed by God to walk down this path so that He can teach you about Him and what He can do for you. He wants you to develop your own personal relationship with Him. God wants you to know how much He loves you.

Don’t give up is the best encouraging message that I can give anyone. When you throw in the towel and let go of what you believe your restoration journey should be, that’s when everything will change. If you keep walking in faith and believing in your restoration all things will come to pass. It may not happen all at once, but it will happen at the right time. My husband and I were seperated for 4 years. We went 2 years without any communication and now everything has fallen in place. All things are possible.