RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “My Husband Left Me with a Smile and a Gentle Answer”

Daphne, how did your restoration actually begin?

This journey started the day my husband called me, just to talk, and then said that he could not give me any more, that he could not make me happy and that, in his frustration, he had become involved with another woman, OW. That day everything came at me like being hit by a tornado. I knew my marriage was not perfect, but I did not think it would ever reach that point when my own husband would have cheated on me.

How did God change your situation Daphne as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

At first, I did everything wrong. The more I looked for him to try and talk him home, the more he ran, trying to get away from me. I had already known the about this ministry from so many women who had restored marriages, and I was beginning to read How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. Over time, I began to feel that my dessert was not so difficult, because I came to seek a relationship with my Heavenly Husband, HH, which my friends all told me was the fastest road to restoration. They told me that if I pined and longed for my husband and remained obsessed like I was from being a stander, I could plan on remaining on my journey for a very long time.

At the beginning of my journey, my husband just up and left, but as soon as I started making the changes of letting go, especially after finding my HH, the easier it became to let go. Soon my husband came home every night, then slept away from home every other day, but every time he came back. The more of a gentle and quiet spirit I had, which was easy as His bride, the more he wanted to know about my day and how I was. Though he threatened divorce from the beginning, due to my immediate changes, he never filed for divorce.

I often asked God why and what was going on, but God always answered me the same way--that I did not need to see what He was doing. I just needed to feel His presence and keep my focus on my budding relationship with my Husband. I began to put into practice every single thing that Erin taught us. I began to read the Bible more, and it brought immediate peace to my house. It became a calm haven for everyone, especially my “EH”.

The principles from every resource are so very good and none should be ignored.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Daphne, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

Letting go and how good it is for us: God does not want to take away our EH, but He will turn his heart away from us, as long as we long for him more than our HH.

Also, I learned to respond meekly, which helped me a lot, because when I did not know how to answer, I just smiled and was so surprised how well that worked and how delighted that made my husband. Before knowing Him as my HH, I struggled a bit to remain quiet, but afterward, I just kept up a loving conversation with my Husband that left me with a smile and a gentle answer, when I needed to say something.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Daphne?

The hardest and most beneficial in my journey were: Do not seek to know what's going on. It will wear you out and slow you down. Do not snoop around; this is where most fall completely, and some never can get up or keep moving because what they discovered haunts them. Be happy when he's gone, away from home, even if you know or suspect he is with the OW. Learn to snuggle with your HH, and you will rest and your journey will be easy.

The worst was watching my husband answering his phone when I knew the OW was who he was talking to. This was probably my biggest test, and how He solved it was to think of Him as my "other man," who I could talk to in my heart, day and night. It left me giddy sometimes.

Daphne, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

God had already shown me that He was working on my husband, and then one Saturday afternoon, he just turned to me and said: "I think I can make you happy!!! You don't need anyone else." Wow, what a shock, because, as Erin says, it never happens the way we expect it, but God’s plan is perfect in every way imaginable. My husband thought I did have another man that I was involved with, and he became jealous and fearful of losing me.

As the days passed, we had some really special conversations, instigated by my husband with him doing most of the talking. In one, he explained that when he first left that he came back home to spend time with our two daughters, but later he came back to be with me.

Tell us HOW it happened, Daphne? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Daphne, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

That week, I felt that the road on my journey was getting very narrow. I felt my HH wanted me to spend more time with Him, so I often would leave to go for walks or have coffee with Him. This only confirmed to my EH that I was involved with someone, and it was why he said, "I think I can make you happy!!! You don't need anyone else."

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Daphne?

I recommend all the courses and to watch the Be Encouraged videos in Course 1 and Course 2, nonstop. Just use How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage as your roadmap, but be sure to Find your Abundant Life.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Daphne?

Yes

Either way, Daphne, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

When your husband returns home, he's not really transformed yet, which is why you must have a HH who will love you and keep your focus on Him. Be sure to let go of your church, if you want your husband to be your spiritual leader. If you fail in these, as my friends have warned me, the contentious woman will come back with a vengeance.