RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “My Sister and Husband Saved Marriage Restoration Complete!!”

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Eloise, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

Eloise, how did your restoration actually begin?

When I came here, we had been married for 5 years and I never once cared or showed compassion for my husband, even though he was always good for me. It took losing everything and to be humiliated for me to really see the person I had become, the women who tore her house down with her own hands. But God, without me deserving anything, had mercy on me.

Beloved, I want to make clear here the bitter, sharp-tongued, proud, insubordinate and contentious woman that I have always been. The woman who never considered my husband's needs, always an offender but was appalled should he come close to offending me, and the woman who, several times, assaulted her husband in words and physically attacking him, is the woman who is writing this testimony.

It all started in May of the year my husband left. It's when I noticed my husband was distant and cold, almost always on the cell phone. When I went to sleep, he was on his cell, and sometimes he got up and stayed in the living room for hours. Thinking it was another woman, I became angry and ran out one evening shouting— until I realized, that the person that he was speaking to, who he'd been on the phone so much, was my younger sister.

At first, I did not care. I was never jealous of him, and I thought it was normal. I thought they were practically siblings after all. We all grew up together, but then I started to lose my peace, literally, so I asked them to stop talking, because, they were a man and woman now not kids, and I did not think it was right.

So they stopped, but soon after they started back again. It became a constant topic of our quarreling. It seemed that whenever he was at home, he was having a non-stop, ongoing conversations with her just as they had been having. Several times I packed my things to leave because I felt there was something going on. Until one day I opened my husband's cell and I saw a strange conversation. So I confronted him and demanded to know what was happening. That's when he confessed saying he liked my sister! Beloved, can you imagine how this hurt? But at the same time, I was calm because God in his infinite goodness was already preparing me.

Twice I dreamed that my husband was with my sister. So I believe that God had prepared me not to suffer as much, even though I have given Him so many reasons for all of this to happen in my life. As I said, I was a horribly bitter, sharp-tongued, proud, insubordinate and contentious woman that any man would want to be rid of.

How did God change your situation Eloise as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

After all the truth was confessed, I went to my church and spoke to my pastor because I thought he surely could help. He said that if my husband wanted the divorce, it was right for me to sign, and that meant that because my husband was making the decision, I would then be free before God to find my own happiness and marry again. I did not agree. Not only was I horribly hurt and hurt on top of me finding out caused me, but I felt bitterly betrayed by my own pastor who had no idea what God's word said. Though I felt I did not want the marriage anymore and I really wanted him to divorce me so the pain and humiliation would stop. I did not want to take the path of divorce because I did not want that guilt on top of me too.

Feelings won out as I was thinking "poor, poor me, I really should be free and find someone who will love me. He wants a divorce, let him. He's divorcing me, he left me, he cheated on me, with my own sister" so I agreed. That same day he rushed out to speak to a lawyer and file for divorce.

Until one day. I was surfing the internet and accidentally found the RMI. I downloaded chapter one the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book and started immediately to try to obey God's Word.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Eloise, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

It was difficult to apply the principles. I especially failed miserably to stop being the quarrelsome and Contentious Woman I'd been all my life. Everyone encouraged it, laughed at it, but no one was laughing now, especially not me. Soon the more faithful I became and the more I studied His word and your resources, the more I was able to let go and to forgive my husband and my baby sister.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Eloise?

Probably when he said he was leaving and moved in to live with my sister. When he protected her (my sister) while humiliating me. The many times he went out of his way to show me and everyone that he did not care about me and my daughter (from a previous relationship) anymore. And, maybe the worse was when he posted the picture of them together on social media and left a love note for her. That hurt me a lot.

Eloise, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

Well, it was I really when I decided to stop seeking restoration. Instead, I asked to become my HH’s bride, letting Him know, and meaning it, that He was all I wanted and needed. At first, they were only words, but they grew in my heart and soon I was His bride in every way.

Tell us HOW it happened Eloise? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Eloise, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

Well, one day he came to the house, and he simply said (without explaining anything) that he wanted me to go to the lawyer to cancel the divorce. That everything with my sister was over and that he had his things in the car and was moving home.

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you, Eloise?

Yes, the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, the courses, the Encourager and reading all the recommended books like Hind's Feet on High Places and Prison to Praise.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Eloise?

Yes

Either way Eloise, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Not to give up on their husbands or family. I would tell them that even when everything seems hopeless, just as they read happened to me. I would also say, "Sisters who are restored, write and share your testimony." Because I thought that God had not really restore my marriage because it didn't happen like everyone else's.

It was 4 months ago that he asked me to cancel the divorce, but I didn't consider it "restoration." But then I stumbled onto the lesson called "Are you ready for restoration?" and a woman asked the ministry if she should submit her testimony because her husband showed no contentment after he returned, sometimes seemed lost and reluctant. She had questions regarding the choices she will make, and they said yes, she should. She should write it because God had restored and deserved her praise.

Then after submitting it, I understood that even my husband sometimes remains distant, and told me only once that "I love you." But I no longer have any doubts that He who began a good work will finish it. I realized that sometimes we look at things the way we want to—like everything has to be a fairy tale, and when our husband will come back, we imagine that he will run to us crying crocodile tears saying that he loves us and that he is sorry. But sometimes it's not like this. Most times it’s not like this. God does things His way, and we should never question Him. Instead, we must praise Him for what He has done in our lives!

Just to make it clear loved ones, I still believe that my husband is in touch with my sister and yet, I do not say anything about it. I speak to my HH alone. I really and honestly leave all of it to my Father and I pray for both to find Him in the same way I have experienced Him. I know God will continue to heal my marriage.

So, dear bride, do not give up loving, standing firm in His principles, and keeping your HH first in your life and I know that God will honor you at the proper time.

UPDATE

After receiving this testimony, we got a partner "thank you" from Eloise:

I wholeheartedly want to thank all the people who are part of the ministry and constantly helping to encourage us with their testimonies and their work that provides these resources for free. They have been a lifeline for me, and very often what kept me afloat when I felt I was sinking.

Please let us know what would you say and if you would recommend this Abundant Life book to other women. *

I recommend to each and every woman to discover how to live the Abundant Life and take the hand of our Heavenly Husband.

And so our partners know how much these resources were needed, please use this space to briefly let them know what your life was like when you first found us. *

When I first came here I had discovered that my husband was involved with my sister and then after submitting my restored marriage testimony (out of obedience and to give God the glory He deserved), He completed what He started. Not only did He finish my restoration but both my husband and sister got saved. While going through Moving Mountains course I asked Him to move the mountain of this relationship that was in front of me, surrounding me. Then He led me to begin reading Salvation Stories only to realize this was why my husband couldn't stop his fascination with my sister. He never really knew or experienced the Lord as I had.

Rather than praying or saying anything (as I'd been taught in the church), I followed what Erin did and trusted God by letting Him do what He does best. He sent His Son and all He asks us to do is to Believe!

“They replied, ‘Believe on the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, and your entire household.’” Acts 16:31 TLB

Right after that, it happened!! Our family have all attending a special service and when the pastor asked everyone who needed to be forgiven to come forward, my husband got up, then my sister (who was sitting behind us) followed him. That day they confessed before everyone what they'd done. That afternoon both my sister and husband were saved, now my marriage restoration is complete!

Both of them were baptized and since then there has been no more relationship between them (other than a somewhat awkward and strained relationship when they are forced to see one another at family gatherings). This has also resulted in other family members coming to me for prayer and I’ve also given out many Restore books that I keep in the trunk of my car.

Now we'd like to give you an opportunity to Thank the Lord-because it was really Him who led you to find us, who heard your cry for help and who led you to discover His Abundant Life. *

I am totally grateful to the Lord for having used the partners and all the people who are part of the ministry as instruments of His love. Very thankful for Erin going before us to make it possible for us to find Him as our HH and trust God with the salvation of her family. “Thanks” is just not enough.