♕ Today's Promise: "For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword." Proverbs 5:3-4
Cherie, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
My Restoration Journey began a few months after I was married. We were college sweethearts and have been living together in sin for many years before we decided to get married. In our minds then, we have to save up for our dream wedding and we still have so much time left since we are both young.
"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life." So we continued to live this way until we get married in a church. It was a dream wedding for me and thought it was the end of our journey not realizing its just the start.” Galatians 6:7-8
Nothing pretty much changed after we got married. I was still my usual feminist-woman-of-the-world-self. My "I also earn a living" mentality had usually caused us to clash and fight. My husband, Devin tells me, he never won, even once in any of our arguments and I never let anything slide. I love Devin, and my world revolved around him as he is the only family I had, since my mom and dad both remarried, but I also idolized him and made him my lord. While I was also mocking and belittling him every chance I got. I was CONTENTIOUS in every sense of the word, quarrelsome but I never was the jealous type, since I had too much confidence in what we have. Oh boy, this is so humiliating. I get chills whenever I used to imagine the person I was and my greatest fear is to return to the same way I was before, it was just the grace of my Beloved that saved me.
Then a few months after we got married, I found out we were expecting but he never seemed happy about the news. I was advised to have prolonged bed rest but Devin stays out late at night which had made my contentiousness even worse. Our worst fight was when I found out he never came home but stayed out all night. I threw a huge fit! I threatened that I was bleeding, hurried him to come home only to start a scene, threw everything I could find at him, cursed him and spilled my drink on him. That was such a terrible fight! He became distant to me afterwards, and I thought we were just trying to fix our relationship when he asked to go someplace alone. Later, I found out that he went after the OW for her birthday to celebrate with her and that day they officially became a couple. This was more than 3 years ago.
How did God change your situation, Cherie, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
I was so lost at that time. I resorted to whatever help I could find on the internet. I asked for spells or how to reverse them because I was told Devin had been used a potion on. I believed everything I heard. I went to Catholic churches, prayed novenas, petitions and went to different churches and asked help from Christian people who had caused me to drift further and further and destroy what little chance I had left. I was so lost when I came to a prayer site where I found HopeAtLast.com so I gave it a try.
This is something new because this was the first place where no one asked money from me, taking advantage of my hopelessness. It was a slow process, not because the Lord is slow, but because of how stubborn and hard headed I am. Slowly, everyday, I was changing. I was still hurting, and I still had days I wanted to give up but what I was confident in, was the fact that now, whatever I am facing, I was never alone. because the Lord, my Heavenly Husband, is always with me. He has guided me all throughout my pregnancy and even if I was alone, I delivered at full term, without any complications for a fraction of the cost! That's how wonderful He is to me and my son!
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Cherie, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
What I learned from this ministry and is still learning up to now was winning without words. This is the most fundamental principle because it was very difficult for me to know the kind of person I was. I backslid, fell away from the ministry but still God has never left me. I feel it's about time I give back, because I was once there, feeling hopeless, not knowing if my life would still turn around and always wondering when it's my time. Now that I am here, I realize I should have studied harder, clung onto the principles much tighter because it's really harder on the other side. What they tell you, my dear lovely brides is really true as the ministry is really preparing you for the prayers you are not prepared to be answered. So let me say thank you, to Erin and Sara, who had been so patient with me. I will carry your teachings with me, for as long as I live and will share these principles to every married woman I meet once I have the opportunity.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Cherie?
Oh there were lots! Like when I was pregnant and alone and would often wake up in the middle of the night physically feeling the pain in my chest. When Devin called me out of nowhere just to plainly tell me that we are never getting back together and that he didn’t love me, this was after I let him go already. It's painful because I never did anything prior to him calling. Or when he leaves for his birthday and their anniversary or holidays.
But the most difficult part is when the OW got pregnant and he called to inform me. He was crying and there was nothing left to say. This was the breaking point in my Restoration Journey where I told my Heavenly Husband, I surrender, there is no way, we would ever be restored now that they will have their own family but God in His infinite mercy never once withheld His compassion from me. There are many times I ruin His blessings, try to ruin everything He has done for me but He never gets tired of picking me up in the mess I made for myself. He always assured me, I was loved, cherished and was never alone. He always reminds me of this, through signs, people, anything that would remind me I am always forgiven, I am always loved. Tears well up in my eyes because I couldn't count how many times God showed up for me. I almost make the same mistake, involved myself with an OM, because I was looking for comfort, when I should have looked upon my HH, and almost gave myself away. I am very loved by Him that He didn't allow me to fail and ruin myself, that this never happened and my love had saved me. Looking back, it was really God's grace that has carried me.
Cherie, what was the "turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point was when I found out the OW was pregnant. I surrendered, this was my breaking point. They will finally have a family and me having a son with Devin is the only bond we still share. I didn't realize that what seemed to be the greatest defeat would in turn be my greatest victory. A few months before she gave birth, Devin started to spend more time with us in our home, even weekends and weeknights, and then eventually one day, he just never left.
He never stayed the night with her anymore, and because of my failures and I am not proud of it, please don't snoop, it would cause you to doubt and feed your fleshly desires, I found out that the prophecy is coming true.
"For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, And her speech is smoother than oil; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. " Proverbs 5:3-4
Tell us HOW it happened, Cherie? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Cherie, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
It happened gradually. Devin stayed with us more often than before until he never left the house to stay with her for the night. Then, I noticed he uploaded my gift for him last fathers day and captioned the best role he ever had was being a father.
Then one day, he just told me he wanted to build my son's family. it wasn't easy, I was expecting him to tell me he will fix us too, I was devastated by what I heard.
He stayed with the OW for a few days when she gave birth and never left since, He has been home for 2 months already. Yes, I can see him struggling with being here and being with her, and yes she made many scenes because she can't accept Devin’s decision. All is calm for now, and Devin says his priorities are his son with me and the OW and nothing else but I can still feel his struggle with staying with us and his desire to go back to her.
Even if I am reluctant to admit, the moment he spent more time with us, I felt he was coming home but I just couldn't get my head around this. In my mind and heart, I was scared and in reality I really am and even up to now, I am not sure if I should submit this but I owe this much not just to the ministry, but the women who had helped and comforted me, and to tell simply what the Lord has done for me and how I did nothing, nothing to deserve this gift He had given me.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Cherie?
Yes of course! I started with How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, followed by WW and Facing Divorce! Erin's voice in the Be Encouraged videos were my comfort and I would listen to them when I commute to work or to help my heart and mind fall asleep on God's words and promises.
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Cherie?
YES!
Either way, Cherie, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Don't lose hope, BUT even if all hope is lost, cling all the more to God. He will not fail you! Ask if this is His will for you and your family, and hold onto His promises, and no matter how faint you are or weary you might be, let Him know, because He will be the one to carry you. Don't be too hard on yourself, you didn't come this far, only to come this far. Let His grace cover you and His love fill you.
"Let’s hold firmly to the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful" Hebrews 10:23
"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work among you will complete it by the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
"But Moses said to the people, 'Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will perform for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again, ever.'" Exodus 14:13
Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” John 11:40
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