RESTORED Marriage Testimony: “I Was Taken To A Psychiatric Hospital Where I Was Committed”

☊ RMT Audio

Alexandra, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?

Since I started this course, just sensing I was close to being restored, I kept wondering how I could possibly write my testimony. I wondered if I would go into detail because remembering some things I thought would be too painful to even think about and much worse having to write it down for everyone to read. What would it be like to remember everything that happened? But one thing I knew for sure, that through it all He is here with me, by my side, holding my hands, keeping me steady as I write.

Let me start by stating that I was contentious, spiteful, proud, and an obnoxious self-righteous woman. What’s worse is that I didn't realize it. I had no clue. When I met my EH (earthly husband) I was no longer attending church and very far away from God. But a short time later the Lord called me back and then I started to seek Him. I admit it was out of fear, but the Lord used it to show me I was missing His wonderful Love.

Even though I was going to church again, I was looking for Him there, not at home where I could find true intimacy with Him. As time passed and I let myself be carried away by the lures of the enemy and my heart turned away from the Lord, as I said above, I became a Pharisee. I read the Bible, prayed, cried, but all while tearing my house down with my hands... more accurately with my own tongue.

Dissatisfaction and ingratitude were what ignited me and fueled the destruction of my home and my family. And everything got worse after the birth of our first child, not that it's my son’s fault at all! I went into postpartum depression and by foolishly seeking medical advice, I was given antidepressants and a psychologist who messed with my head and heart. It all got very bad. It was much worse as I began to become dependent on drugs and talking, talking, talking about my problems, blaming everyone, especially my husband. I was fat, my body was ugly. I blamed the lack of family support.

And because my heart was far from the Lord, even though I tried to put into practice what I had learned in the church who starved me spiritually, I got so angry I broke things at home, and one day my EH (earthly husband) couldn't take it anymore. I remember that a few days before (what I am about to say), I had woken up at dawn and cried out to God to do a miracle and save me, save my family. Well ... He heard my prayer, but like so many testimonies I read said, it was not at all the miracle I imagined. Today, of course, I see that it was the better way, His way, the only way I’d be who I am now.

After the last straw, which was a fight in which I broke things at home and I threatened to kill myself. My EH (earthly husband) had to run across the street to beg for help from a few of our neighbors. Then he left and went to a crisis center here in the city (all this without me knowing) to see if he could forcibly commit me. Looking back, I still feel terrified and why I need His help sharing this. Yet, throughout the entire ordeal, His hand was there in it all. He was there and at all times He never left me alone!

The day after my EH sought to find out about having me committed, I was more furious than before and in a rage. My EH was with our 6-month-old son who he’d taken to the park when I heard a knock at the door. Without much explanation, I was taken to a psychiatric hospital where I was committed. Yes, I was there for 7 days against my will, and today I can clearly see that the Lord gave me the grace to endure what happened there and peace that can surpass all understanding! I will give Him Glory forever for that!

The first night I refused to sleep or eat. I fasted, prayed, and asked God to get me out of there and save my marriage! But still, I had such horrible hate in my heart for what my EH had done, for doing this to me and instead of talking to me or warning me, so it took a long time for God to open my eyes so that I could see the good that He was planning for us, for me and to be open to forgive him.

In all, I stayed for 3 months, and the most painful was I had no contact with our son. Yes, my baby grew up without me being by his side, and even began to walk without me seeing it. BUT the Lord needed this to happen in order for me to destroy all my idols and wipe from my lips the names of the Baals! My main idol was me! Everything was about me. I needed to be taken to the desert so that He could speak to my heart and that is what makes me rejoice in happiness!!!

My EH and our children were also my idols, but the Lord's supernatural love abounded over all sin!!! Honor and Glory to Him, my King, and my God, my Husband, my Lover!!!

After some time, they released me into the care of another recovery center and where I had a tiny bit more freedom. I could go out and everything, but I still wasn’t allowed to see my son. The first time I saw him was on his first birthday. The visit was supervised and I wasn’t able to hold or touch him. He didn’t know me, so I frightened him. As this meeting went well, I was given more visits with him, always with supervision. Dear reader, I'm only telling you these details so you know that a situation that seemed so impossible, so horribly tragic, is still not impossible with God. Our GOD makes the impossible completely possible!

What happened to me, whatever has happened to you, only happens because He wants to save not only you—but your family too! So believe in His love!!!

During this period, my contact with my EH was limited to just a few text messages, he did not answer my calls, which looking back I’m so thankful for. I wasn’t ready, I hadn’t fully forgiven, so I would (as Erin has said) verbally vomit my pain on him. I didn’t speak to him (other than texts) for a full year because of where we live. In our country, there is a one year process to grant a divorce with no contact. Even though I hated him, I didn't want a divorce. But praise be to God, that was a wonderful lesson that the Lord made me learn by having to face divorce. Praise Him for His unfathomable mercy!!!

Well, it was this season of my desert when I was given the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage—right after I asked Him for a “manual on what to do” something like “step by step.” 

How did God change your situation, Alexandra, as you sought Him wholeheartedly? 

The Lord used several people and situations to isolate me from my family and my EH’s family, everyone. It truly was a desert, but it was in that same desert that He gave me streams of freshwaters, His Word, that began to wash me and heal me. "...Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, that He might present to Himself the bride in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless and whole." Ephesians 5:25-27 I was broken enough to accept the truths that He wanted me to know through the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, and right after I asked Him for a manual on what to do, something like step by step, I was given A Wise Woman.

In the beginning, I only applied a few things to my life. I was quite irregular with the courses and principles, but then I decided to take responsibility and try to be submissive when I read that the lessons and that my journals should be done EVERY day. There is no greater therapy. As bad off as I was, I was becoming a new person daily.

I came to understand that all this had happened for the purpose of turning to me to Him and to His truth. “Then the Lord said to me, ‘You have seen well, for I am watching over My Word to perform it.’” Jeremiah 1:12.

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it [until it is finally finished] [bringing it to full completion] until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6 AMP

So I began first to turn to my God, my Heavenly Father because His great love attracted me. Next, I began to be thankful for my time in the desert, and there I was able to meet Him more and more. No, He didn't change my situation, but He used it to change me and heal my traumas, fears, frustrations, and insecurities. It was in this desert that He showed me what a Father's love is, a Father who supplies every need, Who dresses, feeds, protects, cares, listens, consoles, corrects, and disciplines His children with firmness and love.

"He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from ALL their destructions." Psalm 107:20

"So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11 NKJV

Oh, what a BLESSED DESERT - Oh my sweet Love, may all Glory be to You!!!

It was in that same desert where He showed me and also healed me from the stigmas of loving relationships that I had in the past, the fear of abandonment, rejection, and my need for manipulation. While journaling through each of the Abundant Life Courses, I discovered my HH “Heavenly Husband” who is sweet, the perfect Companion, Friend, Protector, Provider, and the most patient of all men. I met the Husband of my Dreams, while in the desert. My favorite thing I believe is how easy it is to talk to Him. To quote your book Erin “My beloved is mine, and I am His . . . When I found Him whom my soul loves; I held on to Him and would not let him go . . . For I am [indeed] lovesick” (Song of Solomon 3:2–4; 5:8).

Today I was even thinking and telling Him that most of the time I don’t even know what to talk to my EH about because I’ve said it all to Him. With Him, I can open up and talk and say whatever without being judged and without worrying someone will show up and lock me away. My HH listens to me, understands me, and knows everything before I even utter a word and He always answers me, although many times I need to wait. But that’s okay—He's always here, ALWAYS, always with me while I wait!!!

You are my Perfect Love!!!

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Alexandra, did the Lord teach you during this trial? 

Seek Him before anything else ... Have no other gods, but go to Him first, because He is your Creator and your Husband (whether you acknowledge Him or not)! And it is He who is above our husbands, even though our husbands do not know it or may not accept it!!! Run to Him before anything!!! And wait!!! Get out of your EH path. Don’t try to stop whatever it is you think he’s doing… even doing to you. 

Close your mouth. Dear Brides, I know it's hard! But just shut up. That means in texts or talking to anyone. Being quiet is the miracle cure along with being washed in His Word. It’s miraculous!!! 

Letting go of the Potter's hands. And finally praising Him always and for everything!!! Not just the good but the bad as well.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Alexandra?

The most difficult moments? As you probably have guessed there are just so many, so many I can't even remember right now, because He healed me so deeply that I don't even remember. Oh, I do remember something that I haven’t mentioned yet. Something that was very difficult and that He helped me overcome, that I completely forgot until now. It was when I was living in the last step before my release. My EH "invited" me to come over to where she lived and to meet the OW (other woman).

I’m sure the enemy meant to use it to set me back to square one, for me to go into a rage, but my life was on the Rock, I was stable in Him. So when the rains came, I did not fall. When I walked through the flood, it did not overtake me. Instead, I was given an early release and began living alone on my own. Gradually He opened my heart to see the beauty of being with Him, in the company of Him only. Oh, my Love, YOU are my Husband, my Everything!!!

Alexandra, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?  

The turning point is when I acted in faith and marched in through the middle of the Red Sea without knowing whether it would open up. And doing so without even understanding, but just trusting Him, trusting His will and His Perfect Plan. Love that never fails!!!

“Love never stops loving. It extends beyond the gift of prophecy, which eventually fades away. It is more enduring than tongues, which will one day fall silent. Love remains long after words of knowledge are forgotten. 1 Corinthians 13: 8 TPT

Tell us HOW it happened, Alexandra? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Alexandra, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? 

I am not sure how it all happened, I only know that God acted in a unique and surprising way. My EH contacted me, the Lord turning his heart (Proverbs 21:1) and got him to do everything. I just had to keep myself close to my Beloved and watch the Lord fight for me and my family. "Do not be afraid; be still, and see the deliverance of the Lord, who will do for you today." Exodus 14:13.

I can only say that He was faithful to fulfill His Word when He said:

"The things that the eye did not see, and the ear did not hear, and did not go up into man's heart, are the things that God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2: 9 ACF.

"Believe in the Lord Jesus and you and your house will be saved." Acts 16: 3. 

I never thought I’d be a mother, a homemaker, or a wife again, but I am all those things. I’m very close to my son and my other children don’t seem to remember me ever being gone. Only the God of the impossible could do that!

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Alexandra?

Of course, I recommend the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and the Courses, taking the Courses is very important! You must journal, you must! Read the Word and obey the principles in each of the books that are based on the Word!!! God used Erin Thiele to put everything in a book and then offer the courses through the generosity of the RMI partners. Trust me that nothing can change you like these resources and God’s Word.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Alexandra? 

Yes! Yes!!! I hope my testimony will help encourage other women and give them hope.

Either way, Alexandra, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

There are so many ways I’d love to encourage you. First, try to open your eyes to see that all that is happening is His Love for you and your family, He is GOOD! HE IS GOOD! And no matter how bad, this situation will not kill you!

Turn to God, your Heavenly Father, and see that He makes sure you will continue being faithful to Him after your marriage is restored. Ask yourself: And after the children have grown up? After I get old? After I die? And then? And then?

Your marriage here on earth ends one day, but your marriage with the Lord is forever!!!

Work with the Lord keeping your family's salvation first in your heart. So many of my family have seen my transformation and have believed in Him because of it. You don’t have to say anything to them, let the Lord do it by how you exhibit a gentle and quiet spirit, submissive to your EH (earthly husband).

Trust Him. He is God and not a man!

Glory, Glory, Glory to Him from now on through  Eternity!!!

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