♕Today's Promise: "His Words evoke her beauty. Everything He does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness." Ephesians 5:25-26 MSG
Rebecca, how did your Restoration Journey actually begin?
Hello, Beloved! My story begins 8 years ago when I met my husband. We met when we were very young, he was 19 and I was 14 years old and our relationship was short because at 6 months I went to live with him. Because my mother did not approve, due to the fact that I was very young (and she was not wrong, today being a mother I understand this so well!!). My relationship had always been good, with a few fights, some comings, and goings (short), all in all, things were better than anyone thought it could be.
After four years, when I was 18, I got pregnant with my first daughter, we had become a little distant but this unexpected pregnancy brought us very close. We moved to another city, we went to live outside the busy city, we had a few financial difficulties, but we were always together. After three years we built our house and I became pregnant with my second, a son and that's exactly when it all started, I was 6 months pregnant when we had a fight over money. His cousin’s son was having a birthday and I didn't want us to go because we were short on funds, but my earthly husband (EH) loves socializing and being with people. So he bought a gift without telling me that we were going, he came home from work and said he would go and take our daughter. I went crazy, a completely contentious woman, and shouted I wouldn't go and he was not allowed to take our daughter. He was very angry with me (and he is naturally calm), but what got worse was when he came back at midnight and wanted to give her a piece of cake and I once again screamed that if he woke her up, I would make such a scene. We went more than a month without speaking to each other and to make it worse, to make my point, I left and stayed at my mother's house for a week that only made everything between us worse.
How did God change your situation, Rebecca, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
Beloved, the fact is, I was always a bad wife and it was my husband who always tried to make it work, but I always complained, nothing was good enough. I was the foolish woman that Proverbs describes, she is exactly me! I grew up in a Christian home so I knew that I had to seek the restoration of my marriage, that this was God's will. Each day I went to pray, I just cried. I went to the church looking for help and I talked to the pastor who told me to look in faith that things were going to work out, but it wasn't easy. I didn't know what to do.
While gone, my EH (earthly husband) went out to party, he ignored me when he got home, he arrived drunk, he didn't even look at me. But I knew I was to blame for all this because I planted seeds to be reaping those fruits. Because it is not enough for you to be an excellent housewife if you are not a wife as the word of God teaches.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Rebecca, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
I searched for testimonies about restored marriages on the internet and saw comments and testimonies related to HopeAtLast. And as soon as I found the page and filled out the questionnaire, I started the course. At the beginning I did more than one class a day, I was so desperate even though it said to do just one each day.
From day one, I wanted to put the Lord as the priority in my life but I couldn't, I was always crying and sad and desperate to get my husband back. But prayer is an ally of faith. I prayed a lot and prayed each promise I read in the daily encourager in my prayers. I followed everything the courses taught, and I had a relationship with God that really changed my life and behavior. And I understood that all I was going through was for me to meet a powerful God that I did not know and that surprised me every day. My biggest surprise was that many times, even while painful trials were happening, I did not feel anything once I found my Heavenly Husband (HH). My HH, my Lover, gave me the PEACE and so much love my heart could burst.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Rebecca?
There were many moments when I wanted to give up, just leave the house but because God is so good, I never left and He didn't allow him to leave. There were times I thought I couldn't take it. But just feeling His presence, I was overjoyed. Then I got a call from my EH (Heavenly Husband), who said he saw how much I changed but that he didn't love me anymore and that he was going to hopefully still be able to pay our bills, but he was going to rent a room for him to live elsewhere. I didn't despair, because I knew the enemy was furious because I was in such a close relationship with the Lord. So I said "okay" and he was shocked. He told me later he was expecting me to lash out. Beloved, I want to stress something about my relationship with the Lord and why you must be intimately close with Him if you want to experience restoration, first with the Lord, then secondly in your marriage with your husband.
Rebecca, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
The turning point was gradual, seed by seed I had sown. We started to get closer little by little, we began to be intimate, but he didn't come back to our house to live and I never felt that he wanted to. Then the day came and I went into labor. As we drove to the hospital, I was happy and excited to see my baby, but at the same time, I was sad because my EH was there as the father, not as my husband. When our son was born, the nurse asked my EH (earthly husband) to kiss me, which was both embarrassing and extremely sad because he was forced to kiss me.
At home, we were still at odds but I was persevering. More and more I realized I had something so much better than any earthly relationship, which is the love of the Lord as my HH, who embraced me and took care of me as my EH never did or ever could. So I changed my prayers for God to save him, and if it wasn't His will for us to be together, so be it. I was tired of the whole situation, of trying and I just gave up. I trusted the Lord and knew He would do what was best for me and our family. And that was what TURNED everything—because when we put the Lord first, and give up so God can restore, it makes all the difference in the world!
Tell us HOW it happened, Rebecca? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Rebecca, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
My EH (earthly husband) began coming to sleep at home and then came back to sleeping in our bed, each time, we were slowly getting closer. A month later it was my birthday but he did not remember. Normally I would have been devastated, but I said nothing. He apologized afterward but because he was late to work nothing more was said.
I thought that was God showing me that our marriage was not His perfect plan for me.
A week later, he got into bed to go to sleep and I went to take a bath. When I got out of the bath my husband was sitting on the bed and asked me to sit next to him, and FINALLY said he wanted us! He wanted to be married to me more than anything. Not only is my marriage restored but now I have my LOVING HEAVENLY HUSBAND!
As I've read in so many testimonies, a husband's return is both complicated and sensitive, which is why we have to trust God to complete everything while we remain focused on our HH (Heavenly Husband). This keeps us doing our courses and continuing to apply everything we learn here. God is acting and strengthening my marriage every day. It's been six months and He continues to amaze me every day!
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Rebecca?
Girls read and reread HOW GOD CAN AND WILL RESTORE YOUR MARRIAGE, begin with the daily devotionals, take the courses, read testimonies, and especially the Bible. You must strengthen yourself in the Lord, let Him talk while you listen, and OBEY. Be sure to enjoy this time to be intimate with Him, let His Word wash over and heal you!!!
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Rebecca?
YES, if you need my help I'm here!
Either way, Rebecca, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Your marriage will be restored if you allow God to do it. Yes, God is allowing you to go through this desert so that you finally get to know it's really and truly about being His bride so that you can be loved by Him and have PEACE! Be patient, it is very worthwhile to wait on the Lord. Cry only for Him and to Him. Look to Him and be radiant. Turn it over to God, give everything to Him!!
For more understanding and to overcome the hurdles: #Contentious Woman simply click on the #TAG linked to Restored Marriage Testimonies.
Filed under hashtags#: contentious, courses, EH, HH, HopeAtLast.com, RMT, RYM
Want even MORE Restored Marriage Testimonies to study and learn the linked principles to encourage you?
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You'll find this in By the Word of Their Testimony (Book 10): "Blessings will Come and Overtake You"
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If you or your husband has returned home, submit your testimony so we can begin to encourage you to continue your Restoration Journey and invite you to our Zoom Fellowship for restored brides.