♕ Today's Promise: "Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name." Hebrews 13:15
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~ Tiara in Poland
I want to praise my Heavenly Husband for helping me through the hardships and trials that I experienced for several weeks after moving to Scotland. I didn't handle it very well, for a while everything was beyond me. I got sick right after my arrival, I found out that my earthly husband Alan is re-submitting divorce papers (after they had been sent back to him because he had filled out the wrong documents) and that he was meeting another woman.
I had problems with receiving parcels with my belongings, settling matters related to an apartment, and more, all at once. I am grateful for fellowship with the sisters in Christ who sustained me in those days when I lost my strength and could not cope alone with all of this and the spiritual struggle, my emotions and how I felt physically.
I guess I felt the shock of being cut off overnight from my family, friends, my country and going back to a place I didn't want to go back to in my flesh. There was a struggle within me as if the demons of the past wanted to swallow me. I was bombarded day after day with lies, depressive thoughts and a feeling of darkness. I started focusing on the negative and slowly began to sink. I wanted to go back to where I came from and I couldn't understand why I was actually here. I know that for Him, but why, it is not entirely clear for me, but it will probably be in time.
This hard time made me spend even more time with my Heavenly Husband, in His Word, I would not be able to do it without Him. At first I felt very lonely, especially in my illness, when I had no one to ask for help, but He was with me and He was comforting me through His Word. I was also reminded that in my lack and in a place of so many needs, I should give what I need to others.
Beginning to think more about others than myself and my difficulties, blessing others, praising the Lord in many conversations and encouraging, made me feel encouraged myself and my joy returned. I made a sacrifice of praise, worshiping with crying at first, barely able to utter the words, until I had praise and thanksgiving on my lips all the time and wanted to dance because of the joy that I had.
I began to see a lot of blessings as I wrote down every little thing I saw He did. I am trying to understand why the Lord chooses for me to live in isolation in this season and many others in my life. Once again, I'm without family and friends, no contact with Alan, except about the divorce and his new relationship.
I have one friend here in Scotland, but the Lord arranged it so that we could only see each other once since my arrival, so I haven't seen anyone I know in weeks, I haven't had a face-to-face conversation. My only conversations are through messaging and video calls. I began to translate the His Princess series, and in the story "My First Love - Closer Than Brother", it struck me that the Lord was separating us to prepare us for a calling in our life.
It is also an opportunity that He will become our all and to have a closer relationship with Him. Now I talk to Him even more, spend all my time with Him and invite Him to accompany me in everything I do. As a result, I began to hear His voice more clearly and to see His guidance, my love for Him grows, and it gave me a desire to study His Word more deeply. I see how it changes me, cleans me, heals me.
I suppose these trials and difficulties may be the answer to my prayer to be closer to Him and to change more. It is difficult to go through the cleansing fire, but it's worth it. The most important thing is to stay close to our first Love, and He will help us go through EVERYTHING and we will come out as a vessel prepared for His use.
"So if anyone cleans himself of all this, he will be a vessel for honorable use, sanctified and useful to the Lord, prepared for every good deed." 2 Timothy 2:21
"Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name." Hebrews 13:15
"Bear one another's burdens, and so keep the law of Christ" Galatians 6:2
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