RESTORED Testimony: “I am Surprised at the Courage I Had”

♕ Today's Promise: “It will no longer be said to you, “Forsaken,” nor to your land will it any longer be said, “Desolate”; but you will be called, “My delight is in her,” and your land, “Married”; for the Lord delights in you, and to Him your land will be married.” Isaiah 62:4

☊ RMT Audio

Breona, how did your restoration actually begin?

I discovered RMI in February 2016, as I was searching the internet, looking for testimonies of relationships and marriages restored by God. One day the Lord led me to Erin’s testimony and I was led to the French site aidemaritale.com. That same day I think I read the first two chapters of Restore your Marriage. I was so relieved and excited! That was exactly the answers I needed! And I knew deep in my heart that it was God who led me there.

Before that I was completely broken and desperate. I had broken up with my boyfriend after almost two years of the relationship. I was so ignorant, such a fool, and so proud…I wanted to have my way and I was contentious.

Everything was running so well at the beginning but then the gap between my boyfriend and I got bigger with time. I didn’t want to lose him so I started pursuing him with my “love”. I focused my intentions and thoughts on him. The more I tried to please him and to be close to him, the more I made him angry. He eventually told me that I was stressing and pressuring him. Later I discovered that he did not consider wanting to marry me. I felt neglected and despised, and I became very contentious. I suspected he had focused his attention on another woman so I started snooping on his phone, his emails and his Facebook. I found out that he had always been in contact with his ex-girlfriend, that they were again very close and that he had even sent money to her.

We were living in a foreign country and I eventually had to go back to our home country. Out of jealousy and pride I decided that I should be the one breaking up. Though I was very irritated with my ex, I knew I had messed up a big time but I didn’t know how to fix things. I suffered and cried a lot for months. That’s when I turned to the Lord. I told Him that despite all that was happening, I could feel in my heart that it was not over between my ex and I. That I had tried everything I could but I had failed. I told Him that I knew I had reached my limits, but what was impossible to me was possible to Him.

How did God change your situation, Breona, as you sought Him wholeheartedly? 

As I sought the Lord wholeheartedly He convinced me of my sins. I had always labeled myself as "christian" but I discovered later that I was just religious. I knew very well that having a boyfriend and living with a man without being married was a sin. I tried to convince myself that it was not that bad and I was somehow comforted since nobody I knew condemned my lifestyle. Nevertheless, I was never really happy in my relationship because of my inner conviction. I was living in sin but I didn’t want to stop the relationship as I was hoping it would lead to marriage. I created a huge gap between the Lord and me. I was not able to pray, to pour my heart to the Lord. The result was that I stopped trying to please the Lord and I instead focused on pleasing a man.

The Lord showed while reading the Restore Your Marriage and Wise Woman books that I was a true Pharisee. Always pointing at others’ sins and ignoring or minimizing mine. Concerning the relationship I cherished so much, I was now able to see where exactly I went wrong.

The Lord also taught (is still teaching) me humility through various trials. Believe me beloved sisters, I never knew how proud I was before starting this restoration journey.

Finally, the Lord convinced me that it was Him that I needed to be restored, that I should seek Him first. Dear sisters, it’s not very easy because many times I get distracted by my circumstances. But I can assure you that each time I fully focus my attention on the Lord I witness Him fighting and winning my battles.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Breona, did the Lord teach you during this trial? 

The first truth the Lord revealed to me was His great Love. His love and forgiveness healed and literally saved my life. His love is unconditional; He did not wait for me to become a perfect person to love me.

The second principle I’ve learned is that I can win people without a word. I didn’t have to say what I think. There is no need to protect and defend myself by arguing with anyone. I should go with my concerns to Him. Only He is able to put compassion, understanding or love in someone’s heart.

The third principle is tithing. I have always tithe since my first salary but I didn’t know I had to give to the Lord first. I also didn’t know that I was to tithe in my storehouse. I used to tithe where I would see a need.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Breona?

God helped and is helping me a lot through my loneliness. It’s been almost two years that I have been living alone.

I know, even if I sometimes complain that He is my faithful Companion. Loneliness has never worn me down to the point where I will desperately look for a man to fill an emotional void.

I used to cry to Him at times begging Him to make a way, so that I will at least live with a family member. He consoled me and I am still living alone. And oh, how I needed to be with God and myself! The Lord made me look at myself in the mirror during this time. I needed healing, yes I badly needed to be restored. I wanted Him to restore me to a boyfriend, but I didn't know how broken I was inside. I had experienced trauma in my childhood and I did not know how affected I was. I did not know how much my character was influenced by these abuses. I had no idea how much of my personality traits were anything but normal. My soul needed healing.

I experienced moments of deep depression, discouragement, sadness, anxiety and unexplained fear. But the Lord has always been by my side. He taught me that no other presence except His could free me from those demonic feelings.

Breona, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?  

The turning point of my restoration was when the Lord began slowly, but surely to open my eyes to the reality of my situation. The Lord kept speaking to my heart and repeating to me: you are not married to this man!

It may sound silly to you, but it was a revelation to me. I felt like I had scales falling from my eyes, as if I had lived in darkness for a long time.

I declared with my mouth that I was single, each time I filled in official documents or even my journal at the end of each lesson, I checked the box reserved for single people. But my heart lived another reality. My soul was deeply attached to this man.

The truth is that I would not have sought God's help if I saw what I had experienced with my ex as a harmless adventure; like a story I could draw a line on.

I was living like a woman waiting for the return of her husband.

Tell us HOW your Restoration finally happened, Breona? 

Now that I knew how wrong I was in my relationship with my ex, the Lord began to show me how much I had idealized my ex. He helped me name character traits from my ex that I didn't see when we were dating. Whenever my ex contacted me, I suffered terribly because I felt that he had not changed his attitude towards me; the worst part was feeling that he dangled a carrot before me and that he expected me to chase him.

The Lord also revealed to me that I did not love my ex as much as I thought. He made me realize that I was held in guilt and shame. I still regretted having been intimate with a man who was not my husband (I had always wanted to know only one man) and I thought that it was no longer possible to meet someone else.

Not at all. In fact, I never thought that things would happen this way. During this period when the Lord was opening my eyes to the truth, my ex began to become more and more insistent and even began to flirt! He who sent me text messages once every three months, had started to contact me every month and then every two weeks. Then came that week when he called me every other day and that day when he asked me if we could chat by video call.

It was exactly what I had dreamed of for years, what I had prayed and fasted for. However, after this rapprochement, I knew that I knew it was over. Even today, as I write my testimony, I am surprised at the courage I had to block his number so that I would no longer receive his calls and also delete photos of him that I still had. After that, I literally felt a weight leave me, I felt after that that the Lord had freed me from all impurity. The most wonderful thing is that I felt that from now on I could love God with a whole heart.

I had long dreamed of the day when I would write my testimony of restoration. When I arrived at this Ministry, there was no testimony from a single woman. In September 2017, I wrote in one of my journals "I am aware that the principles of this book are primarily intended for married women, but I am happy because I know that my testimony will be unique. It will serve to evangelize." I, myself, am very amused by this statement I made. Yes, my testimony is different. To be honest, I was far from imagining that my testimony would look like what I am writing at the moment.

I thought that since I was not married to my ex, that I should wait to testify of my restoration when I get married according to the plans of God. This testimony is long overdue. But to wait to testify means to give little importance to the transformation that God has brought about in me.

I'm restored, hallelujah! Restored to my Heavenly Father who teaches me to see myself as He sees me. Today, I am more and more aware of my identity and my value in the Lord. I am engaged to Christ, who paid a great price for my dowry. God loves me and I have a price in His eyes.

Today, I don't just want a wedding. I want a marriage that glorifies God in the eyes of all who know my story. And this marriage will be the subject of another testimony 🙂

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Breona?

The book "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" is simply a blessing. You may wonder how I can say it when I have not married my ex, but the Word says that God speaks sometimes in one way, sometimes in another (Job 33:14). So yes, He spoke to the single woman that I am by this book. He used it to remind me with delicacy but firmness that He was My First Love.

He used this book to teach me about His will concerning marriage. He used it to change my heart and prepare for the wedding He planned for me.

Do you have favorite Bible verses that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you, Breona?

Isaiah 62:1-2 (NASB)

“For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent, and for Jerusalem’s sake I will not keep quiet, until her righteousness goes forth like brightness,

and her salvation like a torch that is burning. The nations will see your righteousness, and all kings your glory; and you will be called by a new name which the mouth of the Lord will designate.”

Isaiah 62:4 (NASB)

“It will no longer be said to you, “Forsaken,” nor to your land will it any longer be said, “Desolate”; but you will be called, “My delight is in her,” and your land, “Married”; for the Lord delights in you, and to Him your land will be married.”

Isaiah 62:6-7 (NASB)

“On your walls, O Jerusalem, I have appointed watchmen; all day and all night they will never keep silent. You who remind the Lord, take no rest for yourselves; and give Him no rest until He establishes and makes Jerusalem a praise in the earth.”

Isaiah 62:11 (NASB)

“Behold, the Lord has proclaimed to the end of the earth, say to the daughter of Zion, “Lo, your salvation comes; behold His reward is with Him, and His recompense before Him.”

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Breona? 

Yes

Either way, Breona, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

The most important in this walk is to listen to the Lord, to seek Him in relation to our own situation. I know from experience that it is not the most obvious thing. It is sometimes very frustrating to see that things do not happen for us as for others.

Above all, remember that God led you to this Ministry because He has something special for you. This Ministry is a Ministry of Restoration, so be sure that you will be restored.

God bless you.

Find more encouragement and overcome the hurdle of #WWW "won without a word" and #Contentious Woman by clicking on the #TAG linked to Restored Testimonies.

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