A Call to Persevere

I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, Philippians 3:10 NIV‬‬

Now that E.H is gone he is leaving me with all the bills to pay. And this week he sent a message with another bill for me to pay. I started to panic because the bills are increasing more and more

And my love quickly wanted to show me that  I was worried, anxious and upset. 

 When I randomly opened my bible it land in one passage that he was showing me for quite a while but I did not understand what he wanted to speak to me. I said, again that passage? I wonder what you want to speak with me, I could just understand in the next morning when I was more calm.

The passage is from Jeremiah 42, where the remnants of Judah were living under the rule of King of Babylon, and they were being oppressed through war and famine, so they asked Jeremiah to ask the Lord what should they do? And to where should they go, to flee the suffering. They wanted to return to Egypt ( bondage) .

But God wanted them to stay, because He  was going to deliver them.

But because it was not favourable to them, they wanted to go to Egypt.

 My beloved quickly were showing that I have been a bit like that sometimes I think it would  be more favourable for me to choose  the Egypt path due to the various trials I am going through. I still wonder if I made a big mistake in choosing this path.

You see. I always fled suffering. In the past when I would read the verse above, I didn't want to accept that God wanted me to participate in His suffering. 

Is something that I do even unconsciously. When I am faced with trials, I still perceive them as a threat, and my mind tries to keep me  in my comfort zone.

At the beginning of my journey more I would press on to God more trials would intensify. My journey started when I wanted  more intimacy with Lord, I came to RMI for this reason, then the crisis in my marriage came shortly after that.

My beloved had already shown before this is the path for intimacy with Him. To trust Him and persevere in affliction . The lesson various trials also taught me that. He also showed me through dreams that  not to trust  Him, breaks His heart.

I had to pray and make a commitment not to be afraid of the sufferings, and adversities, but instead embrace them, be thankful and rejoice, which I often forget to do.

By not embracing adversity it really felt like I was resisting God.  Because God is in control! It is His hand that allows these trials to touch us or not touch us. When He does allow it, He sends His grace that enables us to endure it.

Once tired from so many blows I was just being honest with the Lord, I was telling and asking Him, what should we do concerning the things that E.H was doing. The trials that were coming against me over and over again. I asked what we should do? I don’t want to continue to have trials all the time I said. He  answered with Matthew 14:27 Take courage It is I ! (But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” I was shocked and said, it is you? I immediately stopped crying, and went to do my shores. His Hands were allowing these trials for a season and for a reason. And he also said that His grace was sufficient for me.

It is comforting to know that it is His will that we face these hard times and that it is for our good.