I never thought

I am writing this praise report because of the progress the Lord has made in my life. I would often wonder why, since I was frequently filled with the Holy Spirit, why I wasnt seeing the changes that I thought should be happening in my life. I kept asking the Lord, where is the abundant life that you spoke about, and why have I not experienced the change in my life I so desperately wanted. I had asked God to change me, and I wanted it to be truly me, something that was who I was, a character change.

It wasnt until I had an extreme storm that I did not know how to get out of, that God began to deal with me. I remember asking God so many times to change me, but even I said to God, you are the only one who can change me. I cannot change myself Lord. Please do what you need to. I knew He was the only one who could. After the devasting storm I had faced, God sat me down and He told me about so many things I had to repent of. The separation of me and my husband of 23 years was the most devasting thing that had ever happened to me. When I faced it, as I was trying to ignore it, a whole flood of pain began. It was a pain so devasting. I clung to the Lord so tightly. I felt I would not make it.

It was at that time He was able to talk to me about of series of things I had done that I had never repented of. He began to show me why I was not experiencing the abundant life that I thought God had wanted for me. He talked to me about obedience and about seeking the Lord, and not seeking anything else but Him. That God would provide what I needed, and what I He would supply. I went through months of repentence, crying and weeping before the Lord. God had gotten my attention. This traumatic event was the best thing that could have happen to me.

Things have been changing in my life that I never thought possible. I see character change that has come from the heart. Repentance brings changes in character. And although I had gone through the pain of separation, God used it for my good, and He is still continuing to do so. Things that I had been trying to change because of a lifetime of habit and lack of knowledge, I am seeing transformation in my life. I want to give God the praise in all of my trials and tribulations because, those are the things that got me to this place, and I thank the Lord for it. In this process, God has brought things to me that I had not even asked for. God has sent me the perfect friendships and this beautiful site.

Before I came to this site, I had asked God for restoration of my marriage and family and my children. And I asked him, without even knowing about this site, where is the abundant life. I have learned throught this site to apply scripture. I have read by example so many women in the testimonial books of woman that grew from trajedy to their heavenly husband. I know that every good and perfect gift is from above the bible says. God is growing me up in this journey and showing me truth from error, even though what might be popular might be the error, and how to stay close to the Lord through everything. I give praise to him for loving me and raising me up as his daughter,. I have learned about humility and what a wonderful thing that is! God gave me this site to teach me becuase Everyday I ask for wisdom and when I asked for it He gave me this site and I have had the faith to believe that I could change and my situation can also change.

As becoming older, I asked God before I found this sight, how can I apply “and the older women teach the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children…” This is a grand responsibility. I dont think that if I had not gone through what I have gone through with my husband would I be learning as much as I am learning now, or changing. I thank God for His mercy and love for me and his answering my prayer for wisdom. I never thought that I would be seeing the changes in me that I almost thought were impossible. I give Him all the praise and Honor He deserves.

5 thoughts on “I never thought”

  1. Forgive me for not having the time to read everything (I’m late for an appointment) but my Husband did want me to say while skimming this, it’s beautiful. Probably a bit too long to instill the conversations we hope to generate. Nevertheless, my Husband did have me quickly create paragraphs to allow for bit-sized praise.

  2. Beautiful praise Azariah. It definitely takes an extreme storm sometimes to bring about repentance, humble us to see a character change. I am happy to hear that He is transforming you and you are able to praise Him through the storms. These sites are encouraging and nice to be able to grow and share praise with like minded women. πŸ’•
    β€œAnd the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

  3. Azariah like you I cried many tears and like your title “I never thought” I would be where I am today either. Thank you for being that older, encouraging women by coming to post this praise sharing your heart for other women to be encouraged who could be exactly where you are at, in their journey! For every one of us here that have gone thru a marriage crisis and had our families torn apart by tearing our homes down we found the best thing, the seed of hope and that grew into something beautiful and that is the relationship that each one of us here was able to forge with our Beloved!

    But now [in spite of past judgments for Israel’s sins], thus says the Lord, He Who created you, O Jacob, and He Who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you [ransomed you by paying a price instead of leaving you captives]; I have called you by your name; you are Mine. I43:1

  4. Beautiful love you saying He is changing you it reminded me that even though there are days when I say or do things that are not pleasing to Him He is changing me too. May God bless your yourney forward as you grow in faith and experience His love ❀️.

  5. This is beautiful!!! You took the words right out of my mouth and explained it perfectly. This is going to help others who want the same but don’t know why they are stuck in a situation. It will help someone move forward to finding their Heavenly Husband in a more intimate way. πŸ’ž
    Thank you so much for your testimony. I love it!

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