♕ Today's Promise: "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
Maisie, how did your restoration actually begin?
It started after the Lord restored my marriage the first time. I foolishly walked away from my first Love and started to focus on my marriage and EH, instead of continuing to look to my Beloved for my needs. This led to me returning to the contentious woman I'd been. In short, I returned to want things my own way and in my time and not in God's time. So HE thought it best to “remove lover and friend from me” again, and within minutes I wished I had that intimacy with Him as before. I regretted not taking the time to be with Him and the distance in my relationship with Him that resulted in me blaming my EH and wishing I'd never let him come back inside my heart. I blamed the EH for the distance between me and the Lord. When my EH came back, I didn't have that peace anymore so I wished for it to be different but in the wrong way, I was ungrateful to the Lord and became demanding again.
One day I arrived home from work and for a trivial reason, I discussed my unhappiness with him. He told me the same thing, that he was not satisfied with me either, he retaliated and decided to leave the house again. I couldn't blame him after I had time to see how I'd been acting.
Today I know it was the Lord who removed him, to teach me to be grateful and trust Him and to wait on Him and that the completion of restoration doesn’t depend on me but on His will, the Lord’s will, and His timing. Then in my arrogance, I thought that now I knew how to do it and that it was just to seek the Lord and move on, it crossed my mind that I now could do my way and not the Lord's. I thought I could manipulate the Lord, how silly I was!
How did God change your situation, Maisie, as you sought Him wholeheartedly?
It allowed me to go through things that I never imagined, that I would go through. I will not give details because what matters is to glorify the Lord, yet there were very difficult moments. I was reluctant to continue my journey that was much harder than the first time, then I realized that it was useless to be afraid and that I had to trust the Lord. A day or two later, after such a long time without being able to feel that peace and the Lord's hand, I knelt down and felt a little of that peace, feeling the way I felt the first time. That day, even in the midst of great pain, I decided to simply seek the Lord, to seek His presence.
At the same time I was in His presence, I received a message from my EH, as he didn't speak to me in the message, I called our son to listen to the message from his dad. He wasn’t speaking, he was crying, but I didn't care because I was feeling such peace and His love and wasn't drawn to my EH at all. Clearly I'd let go deeply in my heart again, so once again God turned his heart and that’s when he called me. He asked me how I was doing, something he didn't do anymore, so I knew it was God letting me know I was headed in the right direction again. I don’t remember exactly what he said because I was half-listening but I think he said he was coming to have lunch with me and our son. He came and we had a nice lunch, and though he was trying to mend things and hint towards coming home again, I didn’t promise anything or try to get him back. When he left we were more boyfriend and girlfriend. He reminded me how he'd wanted this once before but I behaved badly because I still had hurt feelings and voiced my mistrust.
First and foremost, what was most important and what I knew I needed was to have time to get close to my first Love, because to go right back to being together would mean I would be the same contentious woman again and I simply didn't feel ready for his return, so I was reluctant because I was afraid of going through everything again and again. This led to my EH begging me to start over and he even cried when I said that I wasn't ready yet that something inside me needed to be changed. I was so shocked that I trusted Him so much to not jump at having my EH back. My only concern was to not lose the stability that the Lord had given me, just thinking about me and making sure it was going right for me, I couldn't see the Lord who was in control, so I continued to seek the Lord and because of my selfish and arrogant attitude I suffered a lot after that because I thought I had to beg for Him to help me with so many situations, which I now recognize wasn't necessary. He was in control and all I needed to do was rest in Him and keep my focus on Him.
What helped the most was going back to doing my lessons, seeking the Lord first. I began to learn to live with expectancy, trusting the Lord, not doing anything in my own strength. I learned that it was of no use being afraid or wanting to run away, or to beg Him when His love covered all of that.
What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Maisie, did the Lord teach you during this trial?
Letting go, whatever the stage or situation, I had to let go. Die to myself, not want my will. I had to apply this principle again and again. I have to apply it every day. I also learned the principle of overcoming evil with good, loving, and praying for our enemies, the principle of submission in a new way. I learned the beauty of waiting. I learned never to murmur or complain, I learned contentment in all things. I learned the principle and power of staying in agreement.
What were the most difficult times that God helped you through, Maisie?
The hardest was when I had to see him with OW, and not react, but to instead be kind. After the first time the Lord let me know she was contentious, and soon would become bitter, but then my son told me she was always quiet and nice, so it hurt hearing that.
The other really difficult time when I was almost losing hope was when he sent a message saying he was going to file for divorce. But I knew I had to agree, and shortly after that, I was hit hard again when I had to see my son and her daughter playing happily. The Lord comforted me and showed me how much I had changed because I felt compassion for them.
Maisie, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?
After all that I had come through, the Lord comforted me, I spoke with HIM that I would not like to go through divorce, that if it was possible for me to pass that cup, but that it was not my will but HIS, and I knew that even if I had to go through this and that if HE was with me and that everything would be fine.
Then one night I felt a great emptiness so I went to look for the presence of the Lord, and that's when I saw a message from my EH asking if I was okay, and if our son was okay. I was surprised because when he wanted to talk to his son, he called. I said that everything was fine with us. Then he asked me if I felt anything for him, I was afraid to respond so I asked him to send an audio because I began thinking that it could be the OW; she'd sent texted from his phone to me before so I wanted to be wise and remain gentle, Matthew 10:16 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” He answered in audio, when I was sure it was him, I replied that of course I felt something for him. So he told me that he was not well, and he was just about to go to take a shower and come to sleep here at home if I would I said yes. I said yes, of course. That was on a Sunday night, I prayed and went to sleep.
I asked my HH to give me peace if it was time for Him to restore. I didn't want to create false expectations or fears. Before he came he called again, asking if we were needing food, he said he was going to bring milk, so I thanked him, then our son got on the phone and asked to go stay with him in his apartment. He said he was not well, that he was very sick, and when he was better he would talk about everything with him. I just thanked My Beloved because only He was able to turn someone's heart in our favor and I saw He was using this sickness for that purpose. He was not only turning my husband's heart towards me, but my heart towards him as well. A day later he sent me an audio asking me to come and bring our son so I went.
Tell us HOW it happened, Maisie? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Maisie, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?
Our son and I went to his house as he had asked, arriving there he said he would come home with us, so it was three days and nights when he was sick, staying at our home, and the Lord lovingly was taking care of him through me. My EH even said he could feel it was the Lord who was caring for him. At one point, he broke down weeping and asked me for forgiveness.
No, I didn't suspect anything was about to happen.
Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you, Maisie?
Would you be interested in helping encourage other women, Maisie?
Either way, Maisie, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?
Dear bride, you must trust in Him and in His promises that He is faithful to keep. You don't need to beg or worry or try, just leave it to Him. Even when it seems that there is no way He changes the situation, do not give up, seek the Lord, put Him first, and obey, He never fails, He knows the time and the way through every difficulty. Give up your way and just trust Him. The more you let go the more He will do. What is impossible for man is possible for God.
Want even MORE Restored Marriage Testimonies to study and learn the linked principles to encourage you?
There's a lot MORE to read in By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series Packet: 7 eBooks or by purchasing them in paperback By the Word of Their Testimony Full Series COMBO Packet: Paperback & eBooks.